God Exists: Trashy Kurbaan Trashed at Box Office
Kurbaan, the Saif Ali Khan-Kareena Kapoor film that has terrorism as its central theme, has not found favor with some of the prominent Indian movie critics.
Here’s what a gaggle of critics in India has to say on Kurbaan:
Take the worst elements of Bollywood movies like Fanaa and New York, deduct all the thrills from Hollywood films like Arlington Road, throw in that anorexic, worthless actress Kareena Kapoor, add that one-expression-all-through-the-movie Saif Ali Khan and bring in the constipated maid-fucker Om Puri, voila, there you have this vile trash a.k.a. Kurbaan.
Hey, if thereâ€™s any remotely credible act of terrorism in Kurbaan, itâ€™s what Karan Johar (credited with this sophomoric story) and the lobotomized cast of this junk unleash on unsuspecting members of the audience.
The film has ambition but it is too flawed and simplistic to explore issues like religion, violence and the politics of terrorism with any conviction or gravitas.
….Kurbaan is a disappointment.
You are not quite sure after watching Kurbaan what exactly the motive behind making the film is. Was it designed to be a thriller? Then, in the almost 2hrs and 40minutes of its running time, it’s too long at dips at various points to be able to thrill you enough.
Was it supposed to be a love story? Then it fails on that count because the ‘lovers’ in the film come across as shallow. Was the film supposed to be a comment on global terrorism? Then it’s a haphazard one, raising questions (old ones at that) and not bothering to give any answers.
Actually, Kurbaan is a mish-mash of all of the above, and with a seduction scene and ‘main badla loonga’ angle thrown in, reminds one of the formulaic films made in the 80s.
If you watched Kabir Khanâ€™s â€œNew Yorkâ€ this summer, you wonâ€™t find much novelty in Rensil Dâ€™Silvaâ€™s â€œKurbaanâ€. The storyline is pretty much the same, except for a few cosmetic differences.
….The dialogue is unimaginative in places, and so are the character sketches. Saifâ€™s character comes across as half-baked and we never see why he made the transition from an ordinary man into a terrorist.
After watching Kurbaan I now understand why all the posters for the film capitalize on the sexy bronzed skin of the two lead actorsâ€”thereâ€™s nothing else in this inane, regressive story.
Sure, some of the above critics may have also found a few nice things to say about Kurbaan but overall they donâ€™t seem very thrilled with the movie, do they?
Stay at home, folks.
The critics have no choice but to see this movie.
But you have a choice.
Donâ€™t waste your time and money.
‘The critics have no choice but to see this movie.’
So you will be watching this movie and reviewing it. will ya?
Yes, watched it already.
Working on the review now.
I wonder why this blog is open..
Not coz u skipped kurbaan, u skipped luck by chance, rock on… 🙁
Shame on u guys.. :p
1. You write: I wonder why this blog is open..
Is your fu**ing dyschezia hurting you real bad, co**sucker?
2. You write: Not coz u skipped kurbaan
Are you an imbecile. Now, don’t answer that question moron…Was merely a rhetorical question.
We went to the first show of Kurbaan at a theater here.
Right now, we’re typing the review as fast as we can.
3. You write: Shame on u guys
Now Fu*k Off and let’s not see that ugly mien of yours here ever again. Comprende.
And to think that a c*nt like you asked to meet us. 🙁
lol @ lovefest between mallu & si
Saw 2012. What a nightmare!!
Maybe you saw the Tamil or Telugu version. 😉
Indian media reports say 2012 had a very strong opening in your country.
arbit, did you watch 2012 in a theater or netbook?
I saw the ‘English version’ in the theatre. Yes, it has had very strong opening here.
Even after a week, all theatres were houseful. Probably because of the Indian connection. The movie starts and ends with India.
But it was like watching Jumanji, plain silly. I would have probably enjoyed the movie had I been some 10-15 yrs old. But many seemed to enjoy the movie – all whistles flying around. People have horrible taste man!
After watching that Kurbaan trash, we’ll probably enjoy any movie from our collection.
Will watch something now. The night is still young here…just 9:25PM. 😉
@SI: “Maybe you saw the Tamil or Telugu version. 😉
Indian media reports say 2012 had a very strong opening in your country.”
Yep it’s all gloss and no substance, so no wonders why it’s going well in India.
2012’s success in India could have something to do with the local language versions.
@SI: Is your fu**ing dyschezia hurting you real bad, co**sucker?
WTF? I was F**ing kidding? Why so serious guys? 😀
The abuse has reached such a crescendo (since we delete it all you have no idea of the horrendous filth coming our way from upset Indians) that it’s hard to know anymore who is serious and who is kidding.
oops sorry guys if i offended you.. But seriously try some meditation i was shocked to see you yell that at me..LOL.. 😀
You are getting tiresome now. 🙁
@SI: “The abuse has reached such a crescendo (since we delete it all you have no idea of the horrendous filth coming our way from upset Indians) that itâ€™s hard to know anymore who is serious and who is kidding.”
Has to do with your choice of topics and the language you use, SI. It’s a surprise you are complaining, since a substantial portion of the stuff that you put out on this blog is also filth.
There are a lot of positives about this blog – the interactiveness (I have never seen any other site replying to every comment that is posted), the humor, the openness, the fairness, etc.
But the negatives are just too glaring to be avoided or overlooked. For example, I have no idea what you were trying to achieve with those articles on Jesus and Indian maids.
Hope you know what you are doing. And hope the readers here are sensible enough to know how much of you is to be taken seriously.
1. If ever we publish an unbowdlerized version of some of the comments, you’d recoil in horror.
2. You write: a substantial portion of the stuff that you put out on this blog is also filth.
That’s atrocious, outrageous, malicious, perfidious, viperous slander.
Think for a moment (it’s no crime and we promise it won’t hurt ya).
A substantial portion would mean at least 30% or more of the content (anything less is hardly substantial).
If as you flippantly
writetype 30% of our content is really filth, neither you nor other readers would be visiting or reading us.
3. You write: I have no idea what you were trying to achieve with those articles on Jesus and Indian maids.
penisoops piece was a book review.
Here are the two posts relating to the Jesus prepuce piece.
a). Who Stole Jesusâ€™ Penis (we mean the tip) – Book Review
b). Jesusâ€™ Penis Lies Under the Church
As for the maid-in-India piece, we considered it an interesting topic in the light of contemporary developments in India and our hypothesis that Indians are obsessed with their maids.
4. You write: Has to do with your choice of topics and the language you use
Our language here is for the most part acceptable. We do our best not to use four-letter words and asterix them out even in the comments.