Kurbaan Review – You are the Sacrificial Lamb, Sucker

God Exists: Trashy Kurbaan Trashed at Box Office 

Folks, if you are the sort that get your jollies by sacrificing yourself on the altar of crappy Bollywood films by all means watch this garbage called Kurbaan.

For 2 hours and 40 minutes, we looked hard for any redeeming elements in Kurbaan but came a cropper.

Zilch. Nada. Nichts.

Centered around a bunch of Muslim terrorists plotting a terror attack in the U.S., Kurbaan is not merely a no-thrills non-thriller but overall a piece of amateurish shit that has no business being released in theaters anywhere.

The Short of It
Take the worst elements of Bollywood movies like Fanaa and New York, deduct all the thrills from Hollywood films like Arlington Road, throw in that anorexic, worthless actress Kareena Kapoor, add that one-expression-all-through-the-movie Saif Ali Khan and bring in the constipated maid-fucker Om Puri, voila, there you have this vile trash a.k.a. Kurbaan.

Hey, if there’s any remotely credible act of terrorism in Kurbaan, it’s what Karan Johar (credited with this sophomoric story) and the lobotomized cast of this junk unleash on unsuspecting members of the audience.

An Adharma Production
Peppered with cliched dialogs (did you think of me last night, are you afraid of your feelings for me), infested with badass actors (foremost among them Kareena Kapoor) and littered with illogical elements (far too many, hello, has anyone heard of 911), Kurbaan is an unforgivable, insufferable act of adharma (injustice).

Hoping to capitalize on the current global obsession with Islamic terrorism, Kurbaan producer Karan Johar and his underlings foist upon us a Faustian bargain – You give us $8.50 and we’ll give you a bunch of angry Muslims spewing venom at the Great Satan and plotting destruction of its citizens and top it off with with a skinshow of the heroine.

Sophomoric Story
Writing a gripping story is no walk in the park.

But Karan Johar, the author of this infantile production, is blissfully unaware of his limitation and cruelly fobs us off with this clumsily inept excuse of a story with gaping logic holes.

God Exists: Trashy Kurbaan Trashed at Box Office

No sooner does the paths of the comely professor of psychology Avantika Ahuja, and Ehsaan Khan, a new professor at the same college, collide on a Delhi road than cupid follows close behind in a most contrived romance. Before you can say Shaadi, the two have gotten married and jetted off to New York, where Avantika, an American citizen, worked previously.

No matter that universities across the U.S. are currently facing widespread budgetary cuts and teachers are being laid off, Ehsaan (Saif Ali Khan) gets a job immediately to teach a course on Islam and the West.

Barely have they settled down in their new home in an Indian neighborhood when the Muslim neighbors come calling.

Soon Avantika stumbles upon a body in the basement, a Muslim suicide bomber destroys an Iraq-bound plane including a journalist Rehanna (played by the hopeless wannabe actress Dia Mirza) and the happy days are over.

Silly meets stupid now when Rehanna’s bent-upon-revenge boyfriend Riyaz (Vivek Oberoi) discovers a clue to the bombers but refuses to bring in the police or the FBI.

“If we tell the police, we’ll lose the lead….I want to deal with her killers,” Riyaz says with a straight face. Ha ha ha.

We briefly get to see the FBI before they disappear from our view. Oh well, why do we need the FBI when we have a jackass actor like Vivek Oberoi following people in a gray Ford.

Or have the Feds outsourced yet another job to the Coolies?

You Call This Acting
Among the many vexing elements in Kurbaan, intolerably bad acting by the key players really got our goat.

Saif Ali Khan sleepwalks through his role, while Kareena Kapoor is completely inadequate to the task of acting in a kindergarten’s Annual-Day production.

Whether in the early romantic scenes, in the ‘pregnant’ middle scenes after she becomes aware of the deadly designs of the plotters or the final bloody scenes on the subway, Kareena Kapoor is a fatuous freakshow equalled only by that 2050 nightmare Priyanka Chopra.

Perhaps aware of Kareena’s acting limitation, director Renzil D’Silva takes the easy way out by stripping the clothes off her back and for good measure Saif Ali Khan’s front and flings them both on a bed.

Ah, if such tawdry antics could work miracles we’d have no need for the Saifeenas.

By the way, Kareena in-a-black-nightie-with her tiny titties straining to escape their constraints was so unseductive we bet you’d get a bigger rise by looking at a picture of Nirupa Roy.

Vivek Oberoi proves yet again why he’s been consigned to the dustheap of Bollywood for the last few years. In his anger over the death of his fiancee, in his attempt to infiltrate the terrorists’ lair and in the dying moments of the movie on the subway, Oberoi is most unconvincing.

Post-Kurbaan, it’s likely Oberoi’s only claim to fame will be as a footnote in Aishwarya Rai’s life.

No Redeeming Elements
No, music ain’t the salvation of this junk. None of the songs left a mark.

It’s hard to make a movie without any redeeming elements.

But director D’Silva and producer Johar have outdone themselves in this bizarrely unwatchable crap-show.

Guys, Kurbaan is one Bollywood movie that goes down on its knees begging you to extend it the middle finger.

Watch this garbage only if you lotsa moolah and dollops of time to squander on the lamebrain creation of a cavalcade of idiots.

Sometimes our wishes and Allah’s will may not be the same, laments Saif Ali Khan in the movie as a semi-naked Kareena is all over him.

How true, how true.

Suckers, if you go to Kurbaan expecting some entertainment, be aware that Allah has already decided that you are the sacrificial lamb on which the guillotine shall fall.

Bottom line, Kurbaan is all lows and no highs.

Related Stories:
God Exists: Trashy Kurbaan Trashed at Box Office

44 Responses to "Kurbaan Review – You are the Sacrificial Lamb, Sucker"

  1. the gora   November 21, 2009 at 1:15 am

    Did you see the documentary that debuted on HBO Thursday night, “Terror in Mumbai.”

    Seeing the video footage of the Mumbai police just standing there doing nothing or even running away to hide while the people were getting gunned down at Victoria Terminus station was jaw-dropping.

    In NYC, there were firefighters and policeman running into the burning buildings on 9/11, truly earning their titles as the bravest and finest. Mumbai’s police on 26/11 showed themselves to be India’s finest cowards.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. No, have not seen the documentary. Will try to watch it.

    2. You write: Mumbai’s police on 26/11 showed themselves to be India’s finest cowards.

    No, that’s not completely true, even assuming some policemen panicked and ran from the scene.

    Because let’s not forget several Indian policemen also paid with their lives while tackling the terrorists.

    Whether these were valiant deaths in the course of thwarting the Pakistani scum on the terror-fields or because of the policemens’ ill-equipped condition/ill-preparedness (not wearing bullet-proof vests et al) or a combination is hard to tell.

  2. Jyoti Ramakrishnan   November 21, 2009 at 7:19 am

    Commandos were the only heroes. Policemen were the ones who were late as usual and when they arrived, it’s true most of them did run to get cover leaving Indian people on the streets to help themselves.

    Embarrassing thing is that two of the terrorists even took cops car and went on a shooting rampage in it.

    Policemen in Mumbai are corrupt and coward.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. Unlike the U.S., the lower rungs of the police in India (constables and the like) are poorly equipped and poorly trained.

    We remember reading in Indian newspapers that many of the lower rung cops in India have never fired a gun even once in their lives. You can’t give a Lathi (thin wooden baton) to a cop and ask him to take on trained terrorists wielding AK-47. Just not realistic.

    2. On your point about corruption in the police true, but then corruption is ubiquitous in the blighted land. The defining culture of the land.

  3. tiramisu   November 21, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Your review sounds very biased, general reviews have been mixed. There are some good reviews too.
    I have to disagree on the music… I have heard the songs, not sure about the background score in the film. The songs are pretty decent by recent bollywood standards.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: Your review sounds very biased.

    Rubbish. We have no skin in the game, no ax to grind.

    Whether Kurbaan makes tons of money or flops miserably, it’s all the same to us.

    Cui bono? Anyway you look at it, not us.

    Kareena Kapoor is not our ex-girlfriend nor Saif Ali Khan our ex-gayfriend. πŸ˜‰

    BTW, reports from India speak of an unimpressive opening for Kurbaan.

    (Source: IndiaFM, BoxOfficeIndia)

    No surprise, given Kurbaan is a crappy movie.

  4. iamsumu   November 21, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Good review again.

    Saves me the ticket price from watching this ham-fest. Don’t Indian movie writers review their scripts and think what would happen logically in a situation?

    Are other critics so blind? Like Taran Adarsh praises Kareena for her role and claims she will win “awards” for her role.

    Vivek Oberoi is a bad actor and he’s in RGV’s upcoming movie on Paritala Ravi. Are there no better new actors that retreads have to be tried out time and again?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: Are other critics so blind? Like Taran Adarsh praises Kareena

    What can you expect from a ‘critic’ who writes:

    KAMBAKKHT ISHQ offers you value for time and also, value for money. It offers loads of entertainment in those 2 + hours, loads of glamour in those 130 odd minutes, from start to end.

    Whatever Taran’s smoking, we’d like some lots of that, please. πŸ˜‰

  5. dumbraju   November 21, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    [Trash Talk]

  6. boopalanj   November 21, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    You know, back in 80s & 90s, TN Police was being called “India’s Scotland yard” by some πŸ˜‰ Even they boasted they are only second to Scotland yard. πŸ˜€ [You think WTF πŸ˜‰ ]

    It is true that there were / are several honest & talented officers. Now with a political connection and corruption, it is no great.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Some prominent police officers of that era – F.V.Arul, Walter Davaram, Mohandas et al.

  7. boopalanj   November 21, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    Is this that Mohandas you mentioned?


    Walter Devaram was not that great as far as I know.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Yes, the same guy. One of the prominent TN policemen of that era.

  8. SRINIVAS   November 21, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    @ the gora : Seeing the video footage of the Mumbai police just standing there doing nothing or even running away to hide while the people were getting gunned down at Victoria Terminus station was jaw-dropping.

    people stood still because of the surprise nature of the attack….those who ran …did so to take cover and then shoot ….police have lost their lives in the station while trying to protect people…

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    BTW, did you watch the HBO program on the Mumbai attack? We have yet to see it.

  9. mallukuttan   November 22, 2009 at 3:32 am

    “I have heard the songs, not sure about the background score in the film. The songs are pretty decent by recent bollywood standards.”

    Agree. The songs are pretty decent. SI bashes every sing movie they(?) dislike and even there are positives they don’t even care to mention it.. πŸ™‚

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Memorable music lingers in the mind. We doubt the music in Kurbaan has a shelf life beyond the moments in the movie-hall.

  10. guruprasad.s   November 22, 2009 at 5:06 am

    Upstart directors like Kabir Khan (New York) and Rensil De Silva (Kurbaan) havent handled the theme of terrorism well at all, inspite of big producers backing them (Yash Raj and Karan Johar respectively).
    These fellas could learn a thing or two by watching Maachis, writer-director Gulzaar’s take on militancy in Punjab. With fine performances from Om Puri, Tabu and other members of the cast, and with jelling music (meaningful lyrics: Gulzar), Maachis is a fine movie.
    More than 10 years old, Maachis was set in Punjab and proves, that you dont need New York and 9/11 for anything and everything on terrorism.

    The more recent Khuda Ke Liye, which talks about terrorism, is well above NY and Kurbaan.
    And KKL was shot on a rather shoestring budget.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Unfortunately, Netflix does not have Maachis but they have a whole host of other Gulzaar movies including Aandhi (Sanjeev Kumar, Suchitra Sen). Remember the nice songs, Tere Bina Zindagi Se Shikwa To Nahin, Tum Aa Gaye Ho)….both are from Aandhi.

    They do have Khuda Kay Liye, which we will watch one of these days.

  11. Asha Tampa   November 22, 2009 at 8:09 am

    It’s Tere Bina Zindagi Se Shikwa, not Shukwa. And every song from this movie is a gem, a haunting melody πŸ™‚

    SearchIndia.com Responds:


    Chaala Thanks andi. πŸ˜‰

    BTW, here’s the YouTube version of Tere Bina Zindagi Se Koi.

  12. Asha Tampa   November 22, 2009 at 9:37 am

    I was wondering when you would process my comment. Seems like you work from home too, its just 8AM in the morning, no? πŸ˜‰

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    It’s 9:41AM ET (10 1/2 hours behind IST).

    Hungering/craving for some real nice Masala Dosas πŸ™ Alas, no such luck.

  13. medytrance   November 22, 2009 at 10:57 am

    I’ve been missing you guys since yesterday.

    My Opera Mini application isn’t connecting to the internet and without OM, browsing is a pain on a phone like mine (Nokia 3110C). The in-built browser on the phone does give you the internet, but minus the fun (read interactivity).

    For emergencies like these, I’d saved the Dasavatharam review page on my OM so that I wouldn’t have to miss out on my daily dose of SI.

    And boy, has it come in handy or what! It’s been SUCH FUN reading the comments (all 254 of them) and more than the comments, SI’s replies to them that hit bull’s eye each time – never once does he miss. (Or maybe he did misjudge the genuineness of atleast one commenter — Sharadh_fun)

    There were MANY points in the comments section where I spontaneously broke into laughter looking at my mobile’s screen. Here’s one of them:

    A fan comes up with the argument that Kamal is great because he has acted in multiple languages.

    SI’s reply: Genelia too can act in multiple languages. Does that make her great?


    The reply absolutely unsettles the fan — the fact that his idol was being compared to a teenage starlet — and he goes berserk and ALL-CAPS!


    It’s a laugh-a-minute riot this Dasavatharam review page! Anyone who feels that he has been cheated of his money by the movie should come and read this page, and by the time he’s done, he’ll feel that the paisa that he lost in the theater, he has vasooled here at searchindia.com.

    Just one question for SI: The IP addresses of mitchell and preithy87 are one, aren’t they?

    I’m not done yet with this phenomenon called “The SearchIndia.com Review of Dasavatharam with the Accompanying Comments.” I might come back with more soon.***

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: My Opera Mini application isn’t connecting to the internet and without OM, browsing is a pain on a phone like mine (Nokia 3110C).

    We always used to wonder about the Mac addicts raving about their products. But after using the iPhone (and its built-in Safari browser) for the last 18 or 20 months we now understand. We doubt we’ll ever switch to another cellphone.

    Unfortunately, the iPhone is too expensive in India.

    2. You write above: Just one question for SI: The IP addresses of mitchell and preithy87 are one, aren’t they?

    The IP is different but city is same.

    Boy, was Preethi87 upset with us. She/he/it/they never returned. We even called her a Sweetie Pie. πŸ™

    BTW, we think we know who Preethi87 is. πŸ˜‰

  14. Vetti Jijaji   November 22, 2009 at 11:09 am

    Watched ‘The Hangover’ in theater last night.. was fun. it is coming to netflix in December.

    Berardinelli says
    ‘For a viewer in the mood for something rude, crude, and lewd, it would be difficult to find a more satisfying food.’
    So it’d be best to watch it when you are drunk.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Saw the previews of ‘The Hangover’ a couple of times…didn’t think much of it.

  15. gk   November 22, 2009 at 11:14 am

    Indeed it is or where else in the world would you see terrorists in the name of ‘naxals’ enter a police station and kidnap a cop at gun point ??

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write above: terrorists in the name of ‘naxals’

    Some day we’ll do a post on this growing Naxal phenomenon in India. We have some strong views on the subject.

  16. Asha Tampa   November 22, 2009 at 11:41 am

    Oh! I just had a heavy dinner – yummy spicy curry with rice, onions, and a slice of lemon. Yummm! πŸ˜€

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    And we had two-day-old Pongal (with Andhra specialty Bellam Magai pickle) for brunch. πŸ™

  17. elnino.aurora   November 22, 2009 at 11:58 am

    Disagree with you on the music.. except for the “Kurbaan Hua” which is a blatant copy of another Hindi song ( I forgot which, but will mention if I figure it out ) most of the other songs were more than decent as per bollywood standards.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: most of the other songs were more than decent as per bollywood standards.

    The test of your ‘decent as per bollywood standards’ music is whether the songs will stand the test of time like Bobby, Mera Naam Joker, Yaadon Ki Barat, Aaradhana, Aandhi, Sangam, Anamika, Andaz, Dost et al.

    We doubt Kurbaan’s music will be remembered a month from now.

  18. Aswin_Kini   November 22, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Any film that has a ghostly skinned Kareena in it is bound to spell disaster for movie viewers (Leaving excepts like films like Jab We Met and the upcoming 3 Idiots).

    I just hope she doesn’t screw the film, 3 idiots, based on the Chetan Bhagat novel: FIVE POINT SOMEONE.

    If my memory serves me right, the only girl character in that novel was that of Neha Cherian (an 18 year old teenager, daughter of an IIT Professor). I wonder how you can fit a 29 year old Kareena into that role.

    I am also wondering what a 40+ year old Aamir and 39+ Madhavan are doing in a film that is supposed to be around 3 IIT students πŸ™

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: Any film that has a ghostly skinned Kareena in it is bound to spell disaster for movie viewers

    True, Kareena is a Jonah. A harbinger of disaster.

    2. Ah, we must read Chetan Bhagat’s book before the movie debuts. Thanks for reminding us.

    3. BTW, you’ve some new fans.

    Did you read jjlhicks’ comment. πŸ˜‰

  19. guruprasad.s   November 22, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    I too wonder how Aamir, Madhavan and Sharman Joshi (all 35 +) will play college students. This is almost like those late 80s and early 90s Bollywood movies where pot-bellied heroes played college students.
    In the promos of 3 idiots, the three fellas look OK, esply Madhavan with his geeky looks more convincing than the other two.

    BTW, director Raju Hirani of 3 Idiots says that the movie is now very different from the novel 5 point someone.
    Although the novel provided the starting point, the final script turned out to be very different from the novel.

    About 5 point someone, it is no literary masterpiece.
    However, first-time novelist Chetan Bhagat brings in freshness to a genre with which lakhs of readers can identify. Close to a lakh or more students graduate out of engg. courses every year in India, and yet no writer thought of writing a book on a slice of their lives.
    Bhagat’s book is an easy read, keeps the reader engaged almost always, and has ample humour.
    Most students can identify with the situations described in the book.
    The book is lightweight, priced at Rs 95 in India, and can be read in a matter of a few hours.
    Above all, the book is about underdogs, so it was lapped up.
    I enjoyed reading the book.
    I read a comment somewhere that “In terms of cult following, 5 point someone is the equivalent of Dil Chahta Hai”.

    Bhagat’s other two books One night at call center (made into a movie called Hello), and Three mistakes of my life didnt garner that much of praise as 5 point someone.
    His next book 2 states (The story of my marriage) is awaited.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Our local library has the call center book but not the 5 point..guess we’ll have to buy it.

  20. guruprasad.s   November 22, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    @ elnino.aurora says:
    Ò€œKurbaan HuaÒ€ which is a blatant copy of another Hindi song ( I forgot which, but will mention if I figure it out )

    I listened to the song and felt that the part “Kurbaan hua aaa..aaa…aaa” sounded similar to “jhoom jhoom jhoom baba …aaa…aaa…” (from the movie Kasam paida karne waale ki)

    What is the song you have in mind elnino.aurora ?

  21. ajayrocks   November 22, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    have u seen guru dutt’s classics like Pyasa or kaagaz ke phool and raj kapoor’s Awara?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    We’ve seen Aawara and Pyasa when we were very young since the elders in the family were big fans of Raj Kapoor and Guru Dutt. Can’t remember anything now.

    Here’s the Awara Hoon song for those who have not listened to it.

  22. ShadowKisses   November 22, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    @SI: “Post-Kurbaan, itÒ€ℒs likely OberoiÒ€ℒs only claim to fame will be as a footnote in Aishwarya RaiÒ€ℒs life.”

    LMAO. That line my crappy study-filled-sunday more amusing.

    Haven’t watched Kurban and probably won’t watch it. Saif hamming his way through Love Aaj Kal is horrendous enough to put me off of watching Kurban.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write above: Haven’t watched Kurban

    Lucky you.

    Looks like Kurbaan has released in your country too (guess, most Hindi movies release in your city).

  23. shadowfax_arbit   November 22, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    3 Idiots trailer looks funny but the novel did not intend to be funny.

    Looks like they’ve screwd it up. And God knows why they changed to Imperial college as against IIT Delhi in the novel. There are many places in the novel where they crib about workload, competition etc. That can suit for IIT but not for some random college like Imperial. If they are 5 point someone in Imperial they must be really dumb. Do read the novel before watching the movie. You’ll know how and all they’ve screwd it up…

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    The previews (trailers) haven’t started playing here yet (at least we haven’t seen it).

    We should get the book next week.

  24. mallukuttan   November 23, 2009 at 12:41 am

    Saw kurbaan.. If fanaa was good then this is better.. Nothing special.. But not bad either..

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Fanaa had better actors – Aamir Khan, Kajol and Rishi Kapoor plus there was no déjà vu feeling vis-a-vis the story unlike with its successors like New York or Kurbaan.

    In a million years, Kareena can’t hold a candle to Kajol.

    As we wrote in our Fanaa Review (pre-SI blog):

    Besides a gripping narrative, Fanaa packs solid acting by the lead pair, picturesque photography and pleasing songs – a combination that rarely comes together in Bollywood.

  25. srijeet   November 23, 2009 at 4:07 am

    Hey mannnnnn the Fu**ed upp shittie movie KURBAN my ass wht a f**ked upp shit , well the best part was when Kareena the famous [trash talk] was [trash talk] on Saifs [trash talk] and ompuri the F**K face dint even have any idea of wht shit he was workin on


  26. Aswin_Kini   November 23, 2009 at 7:42 am

    Five Point Someone is not a great novel, but it is entertaining. I am not sure you will like it though.

    One night @ a Call Center was too filmy, I thought that the novel was a bit off reality at times and the ending is perfect as if it is in a Bollywood film.

    The filmy version of One night @ a Call Center, HELLO, was a disaster, fortunately.

    I am not sure Five Point Someone is gonna be good either.

    If you take IIT out of the story, then the whole story remains pointless. To add up, I donno what Aamir, Madhavan, and Kareena are doing.
    Aamir may be a good actor, but I wish he stops trying to act as a student, 40 is not an age to study in a regular college, same stands true for Madhavan.

    Take my advice, skip the film.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: Take my advice, skip the film.

    What would the fate of Three Idiots be if 100,000 idiots don’t watch it. πŸ˜‰

    We haven’t read any of Chetan Bhagat’s books. Five Point …. will be the first.

  27. Twig   November 23, 2009 at 7:52 am

    Off the topic:Do you believe in so called Aryan Invasion Theory propagandised by nothing for good commie Historians? I do not, but evidence suggests other wise like setting up of most Hindi movies in the lands of Whites and Goras. Why do these Mumbai directors hate India so much? or is the lack of talent to show India in a true way. or is it business? Every other fucking movie has its story based in some other country.There are quite a few Hindi movies for which complete filming was done in India.

    At least Tam, Gult and Mallu movies take their village life into consideration. I see no famous recent (recent == past 15 years, leave Lagaan please) Hindi movie which does that. In movies like Parutthiveeran, (If you havn’t watched this movie, grab a DVD soon, you will add Priyamani in the list of Meera Jasmine, Tabu etc . Of course I would ruthlessly kick out Kamalinee from that list πŸ™‚ )

    Subramanyapuram that was portrayed well. Those directors are from village background and their art is good to see.

    In Mumbai, what we see is, the so called hollywood ‘inspired’ movie buffoons, who would want to bring hollywood to india and end up making shit. They could actually make a lot of movies on UP and bihar, caste wars etc ( Like wonderful Omkara) but they make awesomely awful shit like London Dreams.

    Compared to Hindi shit, Gult and Tam movies are no different but atleast they start by thinking to portray local life.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. We think most Bollywood movies are made primarily for the NRI crowd and the upper middle class in India.

    That could be one reason why most Bollywood movies fail because the bulk of the movie-going audience has a hard time identifying with the characters, story, location portrayed in the movie. Just a hypothesis.

    2. Aryan invasion? Isn’t that established theory now….how they arrived from Central Asia.

    3. Tamil movies are no different. Take that Sori-Padam Surya’s recent film Aadhavan for instance. The bozos went to Iceland to film some songs.

    4. You write: Of course I would ruthlessly kick out Kamalinee from that list

    Now, you’ve earned our undying wrath. πŸ™

    Love SI, Love our Bong babe. πŸ˜‰

  28. shadowfax_arbit   November 23, 2009 at 8:05 am

    >> The previews (trailers) havenÒ€ℒt started playing here yet (at least we havenÒ€ℒt seen it).

    Have a look at the horrendous trailer here.

    Can’t predict much from the trailer anyways.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Just watched the trailer.

    Not impressed.

    Plus, the weirdo is there. No, we’re not referring to Aamir Khan but K2. πŸ™

  29. Aswin_Kini   November 23, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Three idiots is gonna make money even if 100,000 idiots don’t watch it.
    Make up your mind if you desire to become one of those who watch it πŸ˜‰

    It is very difficult to make a film as per a novel. If making films is an art, making films true to the novels is a greater art, I am not sure how 3 idiots is gonna fare. It may be paisa vasool for producers as it has AAMIR and besides the story “may be” better than other bollywood films (Assuming that the director has not altered the Novel storyline a lot)

    Besides, I am waiting for AVATAR. 2012 was a disappointment, hope AVATAR redeems my faith in Sci-Fi.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You don’t have too long a wait for Avatar.

    Thew movie is releasing here on December 18…most likely, it will release the same day in India too if the 2012 simultaneous release is any indication.

  30. DW-A(1/2)Dr.   November 23, 2009 at 9:13 am

    Leaving aside the AI theory, a lot of Hindi movies do get made that has a rural setting. From the top of my head I can say Swades, Welcome to Sajjanpur, Billu Barber and Gulaal. But the problem is since most of them are low budget films with not-so-popular actors, nobody bothers to watch them. I am pretty sure if you ask a North Indian, he would have a similar opinion about South Indian films. Madrasi? You mean that circus-show Rajani? they would ask.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. But Swades also had a foreign angle, both at the beginning and toward the end, albeit not that big. The girl in Swades (Gayatri something) was a charmer. What a shame that matrimony kidnapped her forever from our midst.

    2. While it’s true that many of the rural-theme movies are low-budget, Swades and Billu Barber were not. A movie with SRK in the vicinity of 100 miles can hardly be low-budget and that makes it more challenging for a rural-theme movie featuring big stars like SRK or Aamir to succeed at the box office.

    It also has to do with audience taste and the Indian fixation/obsession with their favorite heroes. Thrown an unknown Marlon Brando into a rural-theme movie and no one will watch it. Au contraire, an Aamir or SRK dancing with five pretty girls in a park will draw in the hordes.

  31. ravihyd84   November 23, 2009 at 9:58 am

    3 idiots has high expectations because it is directed by Raj Kumar Hirani (Munnabhai fame). If 3 idiots is directed by idiot like Deepak Thijoria then no one would have talked about it.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Plus the fact that it has Aamir Khan (profiting from Ghajini theft star).

  32. DW-A(1/2)Dr.   November 23, 2009 at 11:09 am

    Of course but the qualifying word is “most”.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:


  33. nisha.gupta27   November 23, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    What are the weekend figures of Kurbaan? Are they above or below Love Aaj Kal?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Way, way below Love Aaj Kal.

    Please see the below post:

    God Exists: Trashy Kurbaan Trashed at Box Office

  34. elnino.aurora   November 24, 2009 at 11:14 am

    Saw Inglourious Basterds last week.

    More proof on Hollywood movies becoming longer by the day. It clocked almost 2 and a half hours.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    How did you like the Austrian actor Christoph Walz (the Ò€œJew HunterÒ€ Col. Hans Landa)?

    On your point about long movies, if a film is well crafted the 2 hrs-30-minutes just whiz by. Not an issue at all.

    Not sure if you saw our Inglourious Basterds review.

  35. elnino.aurora   November 24, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Didn’t read the reviews as I wanted to see the movie first. That guy was plain awesome. The Classic Villain, reinvented.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: That guy was plain awesome. The Classic Villain, reinvented.

    We thought so too. πŸ™‚

  36. Asha Tampa   November 25, 2009 at 12:54 am

    I’ve been racking my brains since yesterday to remember where I encountered the name Shadowfax before. Now I know!!! Hehe

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write: I’ve been racking my brains since yesterday to remember where I encountered the name Shadowfax before. Now I know

    If only. If only. πŸ˜‰

  37. Asha Tampa   November 26, 2009 at 5:14 am

    If only? Sometimes I fail to understand you, SI! πŸ˜›

    Anyways, thought you might find this interesting, funny, and disgusting πŸ˜€


    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: Sometimes I fail to understand you, SI!

    No worries. We often fail to understand ourselves. πŸ˜‰

    2. Read a few posts from your link. Depressing. As we’ve often said, ma desam (our country) has no future.

  38. DW-A(1/2)Dr.   November 26, 2009 at 11:30 am

    On the topic of terrorism and an anniversary of something, Do you know of any deaths caused by Islamic terrorism (as allegedly perpetrated by disgruntled Pak army/ex-army chiefs) in the last one year excepting Kashmir? I think its zero.

    Thats a record of some kind.

    You’ll have to leave out death caused by naxals, separatist from NE, TB, AIDS et al. I know.

    Humor me, just for argument sake. Has the reason anything got to do with how screwed up Pak is right now?

    Extending the logic, isn’t an unstable and chaotic Pak, fighting with itself, much more desirable for a particular-brand-of-terror free India? We hear the opposite more often.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: Do you know of any deaths caused by Islamic terrorism….Humor me, just for argument sake. Has the reason anything got to do with how screwed up Pak is right now?

    We can’t accept your argument because Pakistan has been a screwed-up, no-good country for several decades.

    Hellllllo, Queen Anne is dead.

    Our hypothesis is that the absence of Pak-sponsored Islamic terrorist activities in India post-Mumbai is because of tremendous U.S. pressure on Pakistan.

    And the U.S. pressure is not because of any great love for India from the American side but because of the resurgence of Taliban violence in Afghanistan and bordering areas of Pakistan and the compulsions of domestic U.S. politics. Remember, we have 50,000 plus U.S. troops in Afghanistan. The U.S. does not want any distractions in the Pak support.

    What would happen if God forbid the Indian pussies were to retaliate against Pakistan. There goes Obama’s second term (already doubtful because of the unemployment crisis here).

    However screwed-up Pakistan is or even if their masses are dying of starvation, the Pak leadership will continue to harass India unless there’s a more powerful external force to keep them in rein. Only China and U.S. can do it. And China is no friend of India.

    That leaves only the U.S., which would act only if it’s in its interest to do so. Since the U.S. has a large military-industrial complex, they have to sell arms to both Pak and India! Under the present conditions, it’s in the U.S. interest to pressure/pressurize Pakistan.

    Remember Bhutto’s famous statement in 1965: Pakistan will eat grass or leaves, even go hungry in order to develop a [nuclear] programme of its own. And, true to his claim, when Bhutto became Prime Minister in 1971, he launched the nuclear program.

    Pakistan has a visceral hatred of India that goes beyond any rationale.

    India probably has 10,000 or 20,000 or wateva mosques with Muslims generally enjoying freedom of speech, worship et al (with some exceptions like Gujarat and Kashmir). Three of our Presidents have been Muslims. How many Hindus are there in the top echelons of Pak leadership. Can a Hindu (of whom few are left in Pak) aspire to reach the top of any field in Pakistan?

    2. Also remember Lashkar chief Hafiz Mohammaed Saeed is NOT in jail but outside openly preaching garbage daily in Pakistan.

  39. DW-A(1/2)Dr.   November 26, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    BTW, I read quite a lot of Amit Varma in indiauncut. He has a very good point about wasteful spending but the rest of the liberal intellectual masturbation is nothing short of stupid. His obvious disregard for religion is understandable but why does he have to indulge in so much of it? He nicely compares a gambing addict with a religious nut but fails to point out that both are equally deplorable. Instead he argues he would trust the gambling addict because gambling is like life-taking risks and all. Stupid because gambling addicts are rarely rational. His articles about legalizing LSD and Marijuana make for another interesting observation-why ultra-liberals are as stupid if not more than cowpiss drinking conservs.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. On the wasteful expenditure posts, a lot of them are really a reflection of the rampant corruption in India.

    2. You write: Stupid because gambling addicts are rarely rational

    True, when the odds of your hitting the jackpot is one in a billion or 1 in a trillion.

    Just read his/her/its Casinos and Temples post.

    When you willingly plunk down $$ in hopes of a windfall despite knowing that the odds are heavily against you and that the house (i.e. casino) always has the upper hand….if that isn’t a fantasy we want to know what is.

    Religion and Gambling are both stupid pursuits. But if we haven’t eradicated both in 2,000 years or more it’s unlikely they’ll disappear anytime soon.

    3. We’re all for legalizing Marijuana but unsure about the more potent stuff like Cocaine, LSD, Heroin…..

  40. DW-A(1/2)Dr.   November 26, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    “Pakistan has a…”
    Excatly the reason an unstable Pak is likely to do less damage to India than a stable one.

    I think India should “use terror as an instrument of state policy”. Everybody seems to be doing it, why feel left out? And this is why we must support rebels in Baloch and FATA. Heck, they are already accusing us of it. Why not do it? On the other hand, they also accused us of supporting Taliban…

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: And this is why we must support rebels in Baloch and FATA. Heck, they are already accusing us of it. Why not do it?

    To believe that India is not engaging in mischief in Pakistan is to be naive.

    What do you think our RAW people have been doing all these years. RAW was created over four decades back and presumably a lot of their amateurish efforts have focused on Pakistan.

    Pakistan has in the past blamed India for some of the violent blasts/incidents….most likely some of those accusations are true.

    The difference is that the Pakistanis are more professional in their job of creating mayhem in India. Whatever we (India) do, we do in a ham-handed, pin-prick, ineffective manner.

    But the fundamental problem is the Pak attitude to view India through the prism of Islam. That makes it dangerous and easy to draw the hordes of whacko followers to engage in all kinds of horrific violence against India.

    2. You write: I think India should “use terror as an instrument of state policy”.

    Even if India does this more aggressively than it’s doing now, it’s hardly something that we should be advertising widely. πŸ˜‰

  41. DW-A(1/2)Dr.   November 26, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    “We are all for legalizing Marijuana…”
    Even if Marijuana is only as addictive as nicotine, it isn’t a logical reason to legalize it. What would happen is, 2mrw, there would be as many Marijuana addicts as nicotine addicts. Some would be addicted to both. Why add more problems to the mix? For medical purposes, use of all these should be legalized but its a no-no for recreation.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. Holland and other countries that have relatively lax Marijuana laws are hardly in a state worse than the U.S., which has one of the strongest anti-drug laws.

    The only folks we’re nabbing are the poor, streetcorner Black and Hispanic punks (desis here haven’t graduated to dope peddling in a large-scale yet).

    2. It’s very hard for those in pain (particularly, the terminally ill) to get access to Marijuana here.

    3. We have spent tens of billions in anti-drug operations..hasn’t helped much. Let’s take a different tack to the problem.

    If we are going to be the moral police, let’s stop liquor and bhang too.

    Now, if you’ll excuse us for a moment we’d like to go downstairs and get ourselves our concoction of some gin and limejuice extract. πŸ˜‰

  42. DW-A(1/2)Dr.   November 26, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    “..hordes of whacko people…”
    Not really the situation on the ground. Saw the Nariman tapes as well as a whole lot of interrogation tapes of ‘Kasab’. He virtually cries when he says he did it for money. The people recruited are usually jobless idiots. And they don’t always buy the jannat stuff either. Its a professional job. We could as easily do it. Just need a few youth who have practically no life. Wait a sec. I think we are in luck. We have 10 times as much.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Money usually works but when you combine it with the potent appeal of religion, the whackos’ potency increases a thousand-fold.

    Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker – Ogden Nash (we think).

  43. DW-A(1/2)Dr.   November 26, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    “If we are going to be the moral police..”
    Please! Morality isn’t the least of my worries. Alcohol and Tobacco are responsible for a large list of health problems and social problems. On second thought, legalizing Marijuana would probably be better for hospitals and doctors.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    At least in countries like the U.S., even if Marijuana were to be legalized today, we don’t expect to see long lines at the hashish bars tomorrow.

    Hard to say what would happen in Incredible India. πŸ˜‰

  44. hgquinn   February 10, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    Hmmm. Just saw this via Netflix. Terrible screenplay and dialogues. The vet actors were sleepwalking.

    SAK and Kareena were strong, despite lifeless material. SAK’s acting has evolved into a very quiet style. He used this style first in Omkara — eyes, body, timing and vocal inflections do the acting, not his face. Their relationship seems to have given Kareena confidence to do it her own way, and that appears to be about stillness and taking it slow, and it works. She holds every shot she’s in, in the first twenty minutes. Her stillness cuts through standard perky woman-to-woman dialogues like a hot knife through butter. I would love to see this couple get a spectacular script. Their scenes together were excellent, except for the seduction scene, which was suffocated by fear of audience reactions. The heat between the leads was there in fully-clothed scenes. They should have taken the time used to set up and film that scene, and donated it towards fixing the script.

    I wish the American rerecording personnel didn’t all seem to be from the same lil town in Virginia, accent-wise. I wish Bollywood filmmakers who work in the USA would get real actors for the smaller American parts, and that they would make their star-actors more comfortable when shooting in the wintertime, and that they would explore the country more during preproduction — how exciting is it to viewers to watch a cooped-up Avantika be driven to a mall, fgs!? Why not the seaside, or a city, where they could run into… omg, I forgot… the black hole at the center of this film, making the screenplay even less appetising than it must have been originally, is VO… why bother too much during preproduction or rerecording, if VO’s in the film?

    Btw, Kareena is certainly not anorexic. Her slimmed-down self works well on the screen, and would be attractive to international audiences.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Recently, a reader on the SI blog had this comment on Kareena:

    Kareena like her counterpart in Tamil Trisha is an expert in showcasing 3 expressions (insane happiness, moronic quizzical look and constipated sadness).

    And we agree 100%. πŸ˜‰

    The woman is a waste of film-stock. πŸ™

    If she were not Raj Kapoor’s granddaughter, she wouldn’t be selected as an ‘extra’ in a crowd scene.

    Saif, on the other hand, is not bad. Still redeemable.

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