(For SI Blog readers VJ Cool, Abhi et al)
You know what I’m saying.
Yeah, 5’O clock, Bitch-Raping time.
Hey, VJ Cool and Abhi we want our money back. 🙁
All $8 of it.
That’s what happens when we ignore our inner voice and pay heed to our readers. We were keen on seeing The Girl Who Played With Fire, the second installment in the late Swedish writer Stieg Larsson’s fantastic trilogy.
And if we had any brains, we shoulda paid heed to the frenetic whisperings warnings in our head about Predators and gone to The Girl Who Played With Fire.
So disappointed with Predators that we hit the bottle early today. Any excuse will do. 😉
Gin+Seltzer Water (Lime flavor) and Idli+Onion Chutney on the side is a potent combination. Strongly recommended.
Why We are Disappointed
When we go to a movie, we look for stuff like solid drama, engaging story, decent acting, crisp dialogs, eye-catching photography, good action, pleasing music, fine humor, nice graphics, pretty babes et al.
Sure, rare is the movie that delivers on all fronts but even if a film delivers the goods on a few of them we feel we’ve gotten our money’s worth, baby.
Paisa vasool, as the schmucks in India are wont to say.
Except to a limited extent with the action, graphics and photography, Predators does not set the screen on fire.
No sir, it does not.
The Predators story in essence is that of a bunch of really unsavory guys (and one gal) of different nationalities and ethnicities dropped off into a thick jungle on a strange planet and trying their best to escape, first from weird animals with long horns and later from some brilliant, weird monsters.
Sure, with a good writer that could well form the framework or outer shell of a nice movie.
Alas, all we have to run with, as our characters keep doing so in the face of imminent danger, is the empty shell.
The movie starts with a man falling fast and furious in space and the parachute opening opening just moments before hits the jungle ground. Similar is the fate for others, except for one unlucky soul.
From then on, it’s all traipsing into the lush jungle, firing their heavy artillery at the predators and then traipsing into the forest again. Repeat this sequence ad nauseum till the end of the movie.
A lot of fireballs and the death of all but a couple of the members and it’s time to leave the air-conditioned hall into the fiery mid-Atlantic summer.
The action scenes were alright but nothing spectacular.
Ditto with the graphics. Nothing gee whiz about them.
As for the acting, fuggedaboutit.Very pedestrian.
Plenty of illogical elements. All their guns are exposed to water when they fall down the cataract into the raging waters and still they work well. Their ammunition never runs out. And what the f*ck are they eating for sustenance?
The ending, after all the fighting and firing and fleeing, is kinda flat and the basic issue of getting off the planet still remains unresolved.
By Bollywood standards, Predators (directed by Nimród Antal) is not a complete disaster and we are even tempted to say watchable but no, we won’t.
Folks, this weekend, for a change extend your middle finger to a Hollywood film as high as you can.