Tamil Gen. Punnaku Pandi Desperate, ViShitting U.S.; Vettaikaran Turns Pitchaikaran, $15 For Dinner Seat

Ilaya-thalai-illadhi-pathi of Punnaku Pandi movies fame (see end of this post) is a haunted soul these days.

Before we get started, let’s anoint our beloved Kollywood actor General Punnaku Pandi (in deference to a character Punnaku Pandi in one of his movies).

After all, a General without a noun is like a decorated soldier without his epaulette! πŸ˜‰

Hard Times for the General
These are terrible times.

General Punnaku’s crappy movies are kissing the dust, his political dreams have crash landed, his angry exhibitors are screaming murder and his rear-view mirror shows Plus 2 competitors.

What’s poor, desperate General Punnaku to do?

The General in his labyrinth, eh!

We feel your pain, General. We do.

Like all beleaguered generals whose fortress has already been breached, Gen.Punnaku has a simble trick up his sleeve – ViShit the U.S. to shore up support.

We know why!

You see, Gen. Punnaku Pandi’s movie Kavalan is releasing in the near future. Any publiShitty would be helpful, right General?

If Kavalan too bites the dust, Gen.Punnaku’s fate is sealed. Forget Kollywood. Forget Politics. General Punnaku will have no recourse but to join the rural cowherds to whom he donated cows recently. Ha Ha Ha.

$15 – Daylight Robbery
For starters, Gen. Punnaku Pandi is visiting the U.S. on Dec 16 to ‘dine and dance’ with locals in, as we fondly, mischievously call it, CaliPornia.

But that CaliPornia dance and dine visit comes with a price for Tamils.

Mind you, it’s $15 just to reserve a seat at the table. No guarantee that you’ll dance with the General. Plus the cost of the food.

Given that Americans would rather dine and dance with Brad Pitt, Leonardo DeCaprio, Angelina Jolie and Matt Damon, the dance-and-dine will attract only Tamils. That is, if it attracts any one at all.

Cheapo Punnaku
Dai, Punnaku Badava, you should be the one paying $15. Not us.

Imagine forking out $15 for a chance to dance and dine with Gen.Punnaku.

Kadavule, Kapathu (God, help us).

At least, a dance with that little midget and Bollywood flop Asin (heroine of Kavalan) might guarantee a gay time.

But $15 for General Punnaku – No, no and no.

On hearing this hilarious news of Gen.Punnaku’s $15 forthcoming dance and dine visit to Calipornia, we poured ourselves another large gin.

In a new twist, tonight we’re drinking Gin with Linstead Market Jamaican Sorrell Jam as a side. Nice combination.

Hey General, how about dinner on the East Coast. Who knows, even we might attend.

But, no, we ain’t paying $15. πŸ™

Related Stories:
Vettaikaran Review – Punnaku Pandi & the Dysentery Before Sura
Thirupaachi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the Capture of Bin Laden
Madurey Review – Punnaku Pandi and the β€˜Negro Problem’
Sivakasi Review – Punnaku Pandi and the art of Nonsense

Sura Review – Colossus of Nonsense
Kuruvi Review – Nonstop Nonsense
Villu Review – Revoltingly Bad

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