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By Madmax673

Shit!  I was debating with myself if I should use this term above or not, but I’ll come to that shit by the end of this review.

It’s hard to trust Indian reviewers, these days. They dish out 3.5 stars for most shit. And for even vicious crap like Paradesi they’ll generously bestow 5/5, hailing it as a masterpiece, true cinema etc.

Weather is changing in the East Coast and I was pretty tired after running a few personal errands. When I read into the Movie City (Edison, NJ) listings Soodhu Kavvum alongside a few other Bollywood flicks, I was in two minds – whether to risk or not risk.

I took the gamble and decided I need to rehydrate myself with some soda.

To my shocking surprise what a funny delight, Soodhu Kavvum turned out to be!

I’ll start this out with a song “Comena come Comenatti go”. While the tune was not so catchy, the song was hilarious with its lyrics!

To me it sounded like an audacious statement to the audience “if you’re interested come watch this flick or else go fuck yourself”.

Now that is some real confidence of director Nalan Kumarasamy!

Story

Three guys fuck things up in life their own ways.

One gets kicked out the village for building a temple for …guess who!? Yeah, that hideous monstrosity Nayanthara in her “Billa” Tomb Raider get-up.

The second fella get fired for taking a jolly ride in a Jaguar when he’s actually supposed to park the car.

The third guy gets black-listed and fired from a decent job.

Now these three jobless blokes are recruited by an ethical kidnapper — pussy Das who has five striking rules about his profession including his spelling mistakes. Their adventure begins when they plot a kidnap by breaking rule no 1 – “Never fuck with bigwigs or politicians”.

To Das & Co’s misfortune that politician turns out to be the most straightforward guy in the whole world, literally (even grandpa “Indian” should seek his advice about discipline and ethics) — that his own son plots his own kidnapping for a wealthy living.

What follows, which I don’t wanna spoil for those who have not seen the film,  is a non-stop fun ride that left me in splits until the end.

Casting & Performances

Almost all faces were new to me except M.S Bhaskar and Radharavi.

I can’t remember seeing Vijay Sethupathi in any movie before. He irritated me in the first few scenes with his dialog delivery but once the relationship between him and Sanchita Shetty gets revealed, I liked him a lot. Vijay Sethupathi got some swag and can effortlessly beat down “Ilaya Thalapathi”, “Ultimate Star” and oh yeah… “Singam” Surya.

This fella doesn’t need to learn to dance, or any of those silly stunts.

The casting of M.S. Bhaskar’s son is definitely worth a mention. He looks a lot like M.S. Bhaskar.

The casting of Yog Japee as the “psycho” cop Bramma is hilarious! He looks serious — very, very serious and cruel. But they’re all funny.

The situation plays out so well!

Screenplay & Dialogs

While there are so many one-liners that are memorable, my favorite is the one when CM Radharavi offers his own funds to M.S. Bhaskar to save his son saying “un payyan uyir oosalaaduthu…innum yen ya unakku indha “nermai” kusumbu”? (When your son’s life is in a big dodo then why would you still stick with your fucking “honesty” agenda?)

The twist that comes close to the end driving the main four leads to their lowest point is cleverly worked out and brilliant!

Thematic Resonance

While some might criticize the negative shades of the overall theme in the movie, I see some whining and complaints.

“I give a rat’s ass,” as Brad Pitt puts it, whether the theme is negative, positive or neutral.

* I was thoroughly entertained and had my dollars’ worth!

* What Nalan Kumarasamy has shown is the truth!

Rating

Truth sucks, just like shit stinks!

I won’t use big words like “masterpiece”, “gem”, “pure cinema” etc to praise this film.

I doubt this film would even make it to the “awards” section as most people who bestow these awards are truth haters ;) I doubt it’d even make it abroad as the concept would only fit in India.

I guess hence the apt title “Soodhu Kavvum

While Kollywood filmmakers tend to deteriorate by causing ‘Post-traumatic Stress Disorder’ in the minds of gullible Tamil audience by dishing out drivel after drivel in the name of entertainment, Nalan Kumarasamy has boldly come out with a high-concept situation comedy that’s a welcome relief.

Soodhu Kavvum is still running in select theatres in the U.S.

I would cheerfully recommend this film!

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Like the upcoming Tamil offal Settai, movie remakes in India are a collision wreck of failure and insanity, compounded by the devil of laziness.

An abject failure of imagination and the insane Indian obsession for quick, easy money fueled by astonishing laziness, yes, that is the trademark Indian (dishonorable) tradition of remakes.

Before you can blink your eyes, Yaadon ki Barat becomes Nalai Namadhe; Bodyguard (Malayalam) is remade as Kaavalan (Tamil) and Bodyguard (Hindi); Ready (Telugu) turns into the trashy Ready (Hindi); (A)Singam (Tamil) morphs into (A)Singham (Hindi) etc.

But for the sin of Kollywood’s remakes of Hindi movies, Rajinikanth would still be heaving gunny bags of rice in the Kalasipalya market or issuing bus tickets as Sivaji Rao.

Now how would you dolts even comprehend what moi is telling ya!

Since most SI readers are schmucks, we can hear the echoes of all ye sniveling nitwits’ that as most Tamils don’t understand Hindi, it’s only fair that Delhi Belly ought to be remade in Tamil as Settai.

Is that so?

Then, by your demented logic, Kurosawa should have remade his Yojimbo, Seven Samurai and Ran in Bhojpuri and Gujarati to pander to moviegoers in Jharkhand, Bihar, Uttar Pradesh and the Khem Cho, Majama? dolts in Gujarat.

Ye, merdivorous strumpets, listen carefully now!!

The juggernaut of great movies transcends language and geography.

Alas, how would you philistines understand that!

Haven’t you blithering idiots, cock-sucking SOBs, heard of subtitles!

If an Indian movie perchance makes a few pennies or gains a few rounds of applause, you can be sure, just as day turns into night, it’ll be regurgitated in at least three other languages.

Or worse, remade decades later in the same language (Himmatwala, Don, Agneepath, Billa, Zanjeer, Khubsoorat etc).

This Indian remake exercise is aggravating, weary and tiresome for movie-buffs like SI but manna for the buffoons making up the Indian film industry since movie-goers in Mera Bharat Mahaan are just about learning to descend from trees and not make a grab for the bananas.

Settai Trailer Review

Settai marks SI’s first shot at brief reviews of movie trailers.

Delhi Belly was a decent movie but the Tamil remake is an emetic, if the Settai trailer offers any hints.

Arya is no Mamooty or even Imran Khan (Delhi Belly).

No! No! No!

Even by the lowly standards of Kollywood, this Arya bloke is a mediocre actor with an extremely narrow range of expressions.

Have you seen this worthless Arya humanoid trying the dancing thing?

Well, it brought tears to our eyes!

Settai’s choreographers Kalyan and Dinesh should be asked to stand against a wall and forced to shave their heads by way of repentance for their sins! :(

Say, is there a reservation category for Muslims in the Tamil film industry?

How else can you explain a zombie like Jamshad Cethirakath a.k.a. Arya landing plum role after juicy role!

Now, of all the irritating creatures this overburdened, climate-challenged planet has the misfortune to bear, Premji effortlessly makes it in the Top 5.

Premji lacks the comedy flair of either Vadivelu or Santhanam.

Surely, Premji’s birth happened during a solar eclipse!

Any surprise, that no writers give Premji their best lines the way they do for Santhanam or Vadivelu.

Premji’s good fortune in life is that he was born to one of the sperms that escaped out of film composer Gangai Amaran’s scrotum!

If the word Danda-Soru can be applied to anyone in Tamil Nadu, it’s to this worthless piece of shit Premji Amaran!

Hansika Motwani, a Namitha in the making, does not have a single acting bone cell in her body.

Worse, this *^$&^#@* can’t speak a word of Tamil!

Shaniyane! Shaniyane! Shaniyane!

Anjali is a graceless simian who can’t dance and walks with the embarrassingly unseemly gait of a sloshed chimp.

The Walltax Road birds of the night we dipped our beaks into had infinitely more grace than this two-bit *^*#* Anjali! :(

One of the few talents in the South Indian film industry, Nasser, alas, has prostituted himself to F-grade trashy films (e.g. Rowdy Rathore).

Mediocre Music

In the first place, this Tamil obsession for filming in foreign locales (Switzerland in the case of Settai) is not merely bizarre but extremely vexing.

We’ve listened to all the songs in Settai and none of them (almost) seem like chart busters!

The Leila Leila song is not hopelessly bad, thanks to Andrea Jeremiah’s rendering of the song that seems to emanate from deep down her body! ;)

We just purchased Leila Leila from Apple iTunes for the lordly sum of 99-cents!

As for my affection for Andrea……let’s just say, I see a kindred soul in her!

Settai – Pitiful

Overall, the Settai trailer portends a pitiful shit of a movie featuring a pathetic bunch of jackasses!

Since vomit is the preferred diet of Tamil movie fans, we won’t be surprised if Settai turns out to be a big shit oops big hit!

Hello, is anyone surprised!

Related Posts:

Delhi Belly Review – Aamir Khan Gives Guy Ritchie a Neat BJ 

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UK Tamils have raised their middle finger to Bala’s latest movie Paradesi.

Is this the beginning of the end for Bala whose reputation has rested on producing “realistic” films on the subalterns (people living on the margins of society)?

Bala's Paradesi at Box Office

Related Stories
Paradesi Review – Bala Moons Yet Again

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by Madmax673

Summary – A flat out mockery of the struggles of tea plantation workers.

Hmm… ennatha solla (what else to say?)

Indha Kollywood karunkaali paya Bala marubadiyum marubadiyum sootha kaatran (this Kollywood empty dickhead moons at us over and over again).

Folks, say what you want to say – a dude who doesn’t know how to frame or compose a shot without physically abusing actors is not a filmmaker.

Period.

Obviously this alleged filmmaker has the intention of making the movie as “realistic” as possible, but the reality fades away as one is left without any sort of empathy for those poor souls who endured torture under British rule.

Story

Loosely based on a novel “Eriyum Panikkaadu” which is a Tamil translation of the 1969 novel “Red Tea by Paul Harris Daniel, the story is set in the village of Salur of Sivangangai district.

Adharva plays “Rasa” a.k.a. “otti peruki” a.k.a. “kusu perukki”, a village crier who is treated with prejudice by everybody for reasons unknown!?

The only person who cares for him is “Angamma” played by Vedhika.

She cares for him so much that they end up sleeping together.

The result is the eternal curse of Kollywood where a woman gets pregnant in “ore shot” (single f*ck) ;) Continue reading »

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(For SI Blog Reader Shadowfax_Arbit and possibly many other Karthik Fans )

Since SI is in a Karthik mood lately, we sat down to watch Mouna Ragam (1986).

Mouna Ragam is hailed as one of the finest films put out by Mani Ratnam, an highly overrated director in our not-so-humble opinion. Not surprising, given that in Incredible India if you can walk four paces without tripping you’re considered to possess great talent.

Fortified by one and half tall glasses of Margarita,  after digesting Obama’s State of the Union address and feeling a wee bit tipsy, we plonked down on the chair, turned down the lights and started the movie.

Besides directing the film, Mani Ratnam (yeah, he of the Kadal disaster) also wrote the story, screenplay and dialogs.

Mouna Ragam features Karthik, Mohan and that sexy siren Revathi.

God, Revathi mouth agape is so bewitching.

OMG, a mouth just made for….Never mind! ;)

We’ve already watched  13.36-minutes of the film and already into the first song – Oho Megam Vandhadho.

It’s one of those silly Indian songs in the rain.

The song has little to recommend it. Comes out of the blue at a bus stop!

The song has a rock-and-roll echo, a fusion number obviously inspired by Elvis’ Jailhouse Rock.

Elvis is not dead! Continue reading »

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