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Some Indian startups get off on a wrong footing with customers even before their commercial launch.

Take for example Mela.

An online Indian movie and TV services provider to desis in the U.S., Mela is supposed to roll out its paid Indian movie service on February 1.

But even before the launch the fledgling has started earning the ill-will of customers through double billing and early billing problems, iPad issues and inadequate customer service.

With offices in California and Bangalore, Mela offers customers Hindi, Tamil, Telugu, Punjabi, Marathi and Bengali movies online via the Roku box or on the iPad and live Indian TV channels through its set-top box.

Mela Movies

Here are some issues we encountered with the Mela movie service.

Billing Problems

* Billing is supposed to start only on Feb 1 since the service is free through January 31 (that is today). But it seems the company got itchy to see some dollars and billed customers a couple of days before the free trial expired. Such cheap practices leave a nasty taste in the mouth.

* As if early billing was not bad enough, Mela compounded the problem through double billing. To make matters worse, the company did not care to proactively address the issue and waited for customers to complain. Mela blames the double billing on technical glitches and promises to ‘fix it’ within two days.

Given these billing snafus, we were not in the least surprised to receive a call from Citibank’s early fraud detection department a little while ago to warn us about the $4.99 charge on our card.

iPad Issues

Besides the billing issues, Mela customers are also grappling with problems on the iPad. Continue reading »

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With Vettai, Kollywood director N.Linguswamy has turned the Pongal celebrations into a huge funeral ceremony for 60 million Tamils

Across Tamil Nadu today, the depressing sounds of a dirge fill the air and wailing Tamil movie fans everywhere beat their chests in agony.

Folks, one pallbearer and one pallbearer alone is responsible for ruining the happiness of Tamils this Pongal.

And that Satan goes by the name of Linguswamy.

Vettai – Outrage Against Tamils

Like the villain Annachi who tries to rape Amala Paul’s character Jayanti by stripping her saree, Linguswamy today outraged the modesty of millions of Tamils with this apotheosis of trash aka Vettai.

If you haven’t guessed by now, Linguswamy is the irresponsible bloke behind the story, screenplay and direction of Vettai.

Vettai (Arya, Madhavan, Sameera Reddy, Amala Paul) had no reason to be made except that Lingusawamy felt a violent impulse that he just had to take out on the hapless Tamils.

At 2 hours and 43-minutes, Vettai is too long by, ahem, 2 hours and 43-minutes.

Endless Nonsense

There’s no end to the parade of nonsense in Vettai.

We suspect Linguswamy had some beef against Thoothukudi (where this ghastly movie is set) considering all he does to malign the city so thoroughly.

* In Thoothukudi, girls wear blouses that are as narrow in the back as a bra strap.

* In Thoothukudi, police inspectors are pansies, effeminate cowards.

* In Thoothukudi, the bad guys burn people in front of the police station while the police inspector Thirumurthi (Madhavan) and his underlings cower in fear inside. As if that were not bad enough the thugs then enter the police station, have tea and warn the trembling cops to register the brutal murder as a suicide.

* In Thoothukudi, the police inspector’s younger brother Gurumurthi (Arya) has a full time job – beating up and nabbing the bad guys for his cowardly elder brother.

* In Thoothukudi, the police inspector’s younger brother turns into a policeman and ‘starts training after being in service,’ as we are told at the end.

* In Thoothukudi, the bad guys slash the throat of a policeman’s school-going daughter on a busy road as the cop watches mutely.

* In Thoothukudi, the cowardly police inspector turns into a super police inspector after watching his younger brother being beaten by the bad guys.

* In Thoothukudi, we have a deadly combination of Baghdad, Bogota and Kabul and a reign of terror unmatched even by the Taliban.

In Thoothukudi, it seems that there’s no end to the rain of nonsense.

What a shame that Linguswamy has turned the fine city of Thoothukudi into ….. ;)

Vettai – Ridiculous Story

If you still insist on knowing the asinine story, it’s about two rival thugs Annachi and Maari terrorizing Thoothukudi, as they go around beating, butchering and burning people in broad daylight. Continue reading »

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For anyone who’s lived in Tamil Nadu in the 1970s, K.J.Yesudas’ Deivam Thantha Veedu must surely rank as the Keralite singer’s greatest song ever.

There was no way you could miss the song for it was constantly blaring forth from some loudspeaker (public address system) or the other.

The lovely song is from Tamil director K.Balachandar’s famous film Aval Oru Thodar Kathai (Kamal Haasan, Phataphat Jayalaxmi, Jaiganesh, Sujatha, Sripriya).

If you understand Tamil, you’ll realize the song has profound meaning!

A haunting melody, the song penetrates to the core of the soul.

The Telugu version of the song is Devude Ichchaadu Veedhi Okati and the film is Anthuleni Katha (Rajinikanth, Jaya Prada).

No, we haven’t watched the Tamil film although we’ve heard so much of it.

We’re completely sloshed right now on a surfeit of Gilbey’s Gin and Ginger Ale but if we recollect right, there used to be even a Yesudas commercial based on the song.

Was it Vicks Action 500?

Another nice song from the same film is Adi Ennadi Ulagam by L.R.Eswari.

A peppy number for the 1970s, Adi Ennadi Ulagam was way ahead of its times

A lovely song interspersed with the ejaculation ‘Phataphat” (another of life’s tragedies involving the famous Tamil actress)!

Those who’re familiar with L.R.Eswari know that she used to specialize in these ‘fast’ songs.

Another easily recognizable song from the film is Kadavul Amaithu Vaitha.

This song too used to be blasted from loudspeakers in Tamil Nadu all the time in  the ’70s.

Now, if you schmucks are curious, our other favorite Yesudas song is Meenkodi Theril Manmatha Rajan from the movie Karumbu Vil. We purchased this song from Apple iTunes and listen to it all the time.

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(Courtesy: Sonny Chatrath)

If you still haven’t heard of the phenomenon that’s Rajinikanth, you’re likely an alien or a retard.

Here are a few pointers to Rajinikanth’s fame:

1. If Rajinikanth were to be shot today, tomorrow would be the bullet’s funeral

2. Rajinikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan via Bluetooth.

3. When Rajinikanth was a student, teachers used to bunk classes.

4. Rajinikanth knows who let the dogs out.

5. Rajinikanth’s pulse is measured in Richter Scale.

6. The new rupee symbol is actually Rajinikanth’s signatures.

7. When God watched the movie Endhiran/Robot, he said, Oh my Rajinikanth!

8. Rajinikanth participated in a 100 meter dash, and Einstein died watching that ’cause light came in second.

9. Intel’s new commercial, Rajinikanth Inside.

10. Rajinikanth eats noodles with Lord Shiva’s Trishul.

11. Rajinikanth can make his wife admit her mistakes.
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12. Rajinikanth can make even a sick-looking son-in-law appear on YouTube 30 million times.

13. God is in charge of Heaven only when Rajinikanth goes into hibernation.

Related Posts:
Rajinikanth vs King Cobra & Other Facts of Life

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Tamil movie fans the world over are waiting with bated breath.

The big question today for millions of Tamil film buffs is what technique Vikram will choose to end it all after his public shaming.

Will it be a long rope, a .32 caliber revolver, a sharp knife, a straight dive into the Cooum, an ‘encounter,’ a crucification, a walk into the deep sea or, like Cleopatra, will Vikram put an asp to his body? ;)

Vikram’s Shame

Tamil movie fans have collectively extended their middle finger to Vikram’s latest crapshow Rajapattai at the UK box office.

Folks, the disgustingly bad Rajapattai is a disaster of epic proportions at the box office in the opening weekend.

Even that podi paiyya (kid) Karthik’s Paiyya did better at the UK box office.

Rajapattai, which released on 16 screens, could manage a pitifully low total gross of just £17,528.

Average gross per screen for Rajapattai worked out to a miserably low £1,096.

By the way, Vikram’s previous movie Deiva Thirumagal, whose plot was stolen from the Hollywood film I am Sam, too did not fare well at the box office.

This suggests that Vikram’s star is waning and he’s no longer a safe bet for producers, distributors, exhibitors and, of course, Tamil movie fans.

Here’s how badly Rajapattai fared at the UK box office compared to a few prominent Kollywood films:

Rajapattai UK Box Office Report

Related Stories:
Rajapattai Review – Height of Insanity

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Rajapattai BO – How Will Vikram End it All?

Tamil film star Vikram’s new movie Rajapattai is the latest infantile nonsense to emerge out of Kollywood.

Rajapattai has nothing going for it.

Zip. Zilch. Zero.

Bizarre Story

Sickles fly every three minutes, an old man in his 80s eagerly gives lessons to young men in the art of wooing girls, land is grabbed morning, evening and night, the heroine looks like she drifted out of a retard home when the security guard was AWOL on a tea break, the hero makes the Terminator look like a wimp and the arch villain has the rather incongruous name of Akka (elder sister).

We swear on Vikram that we’re not making up any of the above.

Insane as it might seem, they constitute the central elements of Rajapattai.

Truth be said, insanity is the leitmotif of the film.

Folks, the story credited to a weirdo named Seenu is insufferable.

It’s with difficulty we restrained ourselves from plucking out the few hair left on our body as the movie progressed. By the way, this bozo Seenu is also co-director (along with Suseenthiran) of this train wreck of a movie.

It’s not merely the hopelessly written story and screenplay (by Suseenthiran) that gave us grief.

The music is harsh on the ears, the acting of the heroine is hopeless, the villain Akka sports a constipated look throughout the film, the fights are comical and the overall effect at the end was sheer disbelief.

Yes, utter disbelief that movies made in 2011 can be this bad!

Not Landgrab but Moneygrab

The movie’s central theme of land-grabbing by politicians is a topical subject in the South Indian state of Tamil Nadu.

After all, several DMK politicians have been arrested in the last few months for allegedly snatching the land of lesser humans for a pittance.

But the important subject is handled so maladroitly that it seemed to us land grab was just a fig-leaf for the film makers’ real goal of grabbing the money in the audience’s pockets.

Vikram Kennedy plays Anal Murugan, a young man struggling to make a career in films as a villain.

But the movie aspirations of Anal Murugan soon recedes into the background after he saves an old man (K.Vishwanath) from henchmen hired by his son to grab prime land on which an orphanage stands.

How Anal Murugan defeats the villain-politician Akka’s machinations, beats up scores of bad guys in fight after fight, successfully woos a pretty girl and ultimately restores the orphanage to the good guys forms the rest of this silly, amateurish exercise.

What prompted the respected Telugu director K.Vishwanath, who’s directed gems such as Sankarabharanam, Saagara Sangamam and Swathi Muthyam, to associate himself with such offal as Rajapattai is a mystery only the old man can address.

Vikram Falls So Low

There’s no question that Vikram Kennedy has turned into a mercenary and a Judas who’ll lend his name to any trashy movie for the sake of a few silver coins.

The audience and his fans be damned.

Vikram’s last movie Deiva Thirumagal was outright theft of the Hollywood film I am Sam.

Rajapattai is, of course, original. Hey, a Tamil movie this bad can only be an original. ;)

Guys, don’t fall for the hype about all the different getups Vikram dons in the movie. The whole effect of that exercise was nothing short of ugly and silly.

Overall, Vikram leaves no positive mark on the film.

What about Deeksha Seth?

Pretty face Deeksha Seth can’t act.

The girl wouldn’t recognize acting if it whacked her on the face.

Lack of acting talent, of course, makes her an ideal candidate for a Tamil movie.

Like so many Tamil heroines (Shriya Saran, Reema Sen, Richa Gangopadhyay, Sonia Aggarwal. Jyothika, Nagma, Simran etc), Deeksha Seth too is a North Indian who’s strayed into Tamil films with the utmost confidence that moviegoers in the state will accept any trash as long as the girl has a fair complexion and is willing to show skin.

Predictably, the first appearance of Deeksha’s character in the movie is under a shower!

Music – Sheer Torture

Every song in the film starting with the first one Podi Paiyyan Polave to Paniye Panipoove and the final Laddu Laddu number during the end credits featuring (Vikram, Shriya Saran and Reema Sen) is so horrible that they beggar belief.

No one can claim that this trash is music with a straight face.

As for the picturization of the songs, they’re of a piece with the rest of this nonsense.

Poor Response to Rajapattai

At a theater on the East Coast in the U.S., there were only about 35 people.

The audience didn’t seem enthused with the movie.

During the interval, we could hear folks sneering at the movie.

Well, who can blame them!

SearchIndia.com Rating

Unless you have a desperate craving to squander your time and money on trash, stay far away from Rajapattai.

Related Stories:
Rajapattai BO – How Will Vikram End it All?

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