A three-hour long unparalleled nightmare, Jilla is Vijay’s vile imprecation against Tamils.
Visually unappealing, silly beyond description and worthless beyond redemption, this atrocity of a movie muddles through one offensive frame after another.
Hates Khaki – Loves Khaki
To ensure that feeble-minded Vijay fans can easily understand the film, Jilla director R.T. Neason (story, screenplay & direction) embraces the KISS principle – Keep it Simple, Stupid.
For the first half of Jilla, Shakti (Joseph Vijay) hates Khaki uniform because a policeman killed his real-father.
For the second half of the film, Shakti loves Khaki uniform because as a policeman he wants to save his murderous foster-father Siva (Mohanlal).
Loving Khaki uniform and hating Khaki uniform! I guess even Vijay’s fans should be able to grasp that!
Folks, loving and hating Khaki uniform forms the essence of Jilla and highlights the infernal nonsense this abominable piece of trash descends to.
I’m not kidding!
In between hating and loving Khaki uniform, Shakti is either squeezing the buttocks of Police Sub-Inspector Shanti (Kajal Aggarwal) or having his buttocks squeezed by Kajal Aggarwal.
Yes, all butt squeezings are in public. Really!
If Shanti and Shakti are not butt-squeezing each other, then Shakti is piercing the buttock of his cop friend (Parotta Soori) with a geometry compass.
When Vijay’s buttock is not at hand, Kajal squeezes Parotta Soori’s buttocks or balls in the police station.
When Shakti tires of the thrill of buttock-squeezes, he makes do with making Shanti crawl through a mud-pool in front of a few hundred school girls. Or he has one of those school girls take a hard whack at Parotta Soori’s cojones with a club.
Again, I’m not kidding.
Slow Motion Fights – Fast Motion Fights
In between squeezing Kajal Agarwal’s buttock or she squeezing Vijay’s butt, our hero is fighting the bad guys (Royapuram Guna), fighting the good guys (cops), fighting the not-bad and not-good guys (i.e. his father Siva’s goons), torturing the Madurai Police Commissioner (Pradeep Rawat) by chopping his right arm and cleansing Madurai of crime in one night.
And the Police Commissioner, who still can’t lift his right arm because of the severe injury, is so elated with his arm-chopper Shakti that he promotes him to Deputy Commissioner of Police. Nice way to get a promotion is to slash the Madurai Police Commissioner!
I counted 10 fights in the film before throwing up my hands in surrender. Hey, I have only 10 fingers!
As for Shakti’s weapons of choice, again I counted 10 – Cricket bat, bare hands, gun, knife, legs, spear, small stones, wooden planks, wooden clubs and a geometry compass.
And Shakti is expert at all of them, particularly the geometry compass and small stones (a skill he picked up in childhood and used to save a stranger but forgot to save his father and let him die).
When Vijay gets bored of fighting the good guys, bad guys and in-between guys in fast motion, he resorts to fighting the bad guys, good guys and in-between guys in slow motion.
I swear on Vijay I’m not kidding.
Mohanlal & Kajal
The two “Lals” in Jilla (Kerala import Mohanlal and Made-in-Mumbai Kajal) serve three purposes in the film – To sing and dance with Vijay, scream at Vijay and to let Vijay take pee-breaks from the screen.
When our dear Ilayathalapathy Vijay is not dancing with his father Siva to the background of a horrid song (Pattu Onnu), he’s cavorting with Kajal to the noise of a double horrid song (Verasa Pogayile, Yeppa Maama Treatu and Kandaangi Kandaangi).
If the two “Lals” are not around, then Vijay quickly finds two ugly stripped down sluts to dance an item number with (Jingunamani).
When Siva is not screaming at Shakti for being a serious policeman, then Shanti is shrieking at Shakti for not being a serious policeman (after the cylinder blast incident).
I definitely ain’t kidding here!
Jilla – Watch Thrice
SearchIndia.com strongly recommends you schmucks abandon all your other pursuits forthwith and rush to see Jilla.
Not just once! Not merely twice.
A Pongal gem like Jilla deserves at least three watchings before you dolts can realize your Nirvana.
Now I’m kidding!
Guys, Jilla is an incredibly stupid film that has no business being screened in cinema theatres, tent theatres or even home theatres.
Vandhi Padam, Machchi!