Iron Man 3 Review – Tiresome Spectacle

Once is enjoyable!

Twice, barely endurable!

Thrice, intolerable!

Help, I can’t take this repetitive Iron Man drivel any longer!

Tiresome Spectacle

How long is Hollywood going to flog this poppycock, of a man in a metallic red suit zipping through the air and dispatching his enemies when he’s not muttering sarcastic asides.

Now how much ever you camouflage it by changing the scenery and shrubbery, at the end of the frame it’s still the same billionaire inventor and savior of mankind, Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr) in the same metallic red suit doing the same bizarre antics and the same hideous gal Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) vainly trying against impossibly heavy odds to look pretty.

The flying, the tinkering in the labs, the heavy gun-fire, the Tony-Pepper romance and the ultimate triumph against a maniacal monster yield not joy a third time but a weary deja vu.

Even the introduction of a 10-year-old Tennessee kid in Iron Man 3 and hooking him up with Iron Man to inject some emotional-connection failed to deliver the adrenaline jolt I so desperately longed for!

This time the villain is ‘Mandarin,’ a shadowy figure who looks like Osama bin Laden’s twin brother and his entourage like the Taliban.

But why make a repetitive plot simple when you can twist it freakishly convoluted. That’s the mantra of Iron Man 3 director Shane Black.

Ergo, we have the Extremis project with the cockamamie DNA upgrade and its Mephistophelian creator Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce), who 13 years later is still sore about an appointment that Tony Stark failed to make it to.

And so it goes on, with Presidents kidnapped, Air Force One destroyed, mid-air rescues and Iron Man chained to a bar until it all ends not so spectacularly in a huge ball of fire on an oil rig.

I will admit though that I never saw the twist coming.

Alas, the twist never lifted the movie out of its mundane depths.

Krishna – My Salvation

If there’s anything I liked in this bore, it was our fine ‘Gujarati actor’ Krishna Pandit Bhanji and his portrayal of “Mandarin.”

Krishna Bhanji is one of the great actors of our times and in Iron Man 3 the man excels in an odd, short role.

I won’t give more away other than a hint that there’s more to Krishna’s ‘Mandarin’ than meets the eye.

Bottom Line

The visual effects were all right but nothing I haven’t seen before in a gazillion Hollywood films.

Even if they were appealing, there’s still no fun unless you marry visual imagery with a non-repetitive, engaging plot. strongly recommends you skip Iron Man 3 if you’re the sort that likes some originality, some soul and some drama at the core of a film.

If there’s an Iron Man 4, count me out!

12 Responses to "Iron Man 3 Review – Tiresome Spectacle"

  1. vedagiris   May 3, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    All these superhero movies are made like cinematic versions of video games. There is no emotional depth associated with these movies and I stopped watching these type of movies on screen since IronMan 1.

    Only “The dark knight” remains watchable among super hero garbages released in last twenty years or so. But for an OUT OF WORLD performance by HEATH LEDGER, even dark knight would have been miserable movie in my opinion.

    Any way, I don’t have any plans of watching mainstream movies of all cinemas in near future. Until then, I am gonna kill the time by reading your movie reviews. Responds:

    I suspect 3.0 too will be a big hit! πŸ™

  2. Naveen   May 3, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    @vedagiris – You want to shorten the SI’s lifespan by making SI watch all movies on your behalf? πŸ˜€

    Excellent ploy!

  3. MadAtBollywood   May 3, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    I echo the sentiments of the previous member.

    I was extremely selective of b’wood, but now also becoming selective of my Hollywood list as well.

    Seems like Holly is also losing the art of conventional story telling and conventional scripts and keeps coming up with “end of the world”, “superheroes”, and “fictional characters” drivel. It gets tiresome at some point. Responds:

    There’s another Thor (The Superhero “Hammerer”) movie coming. They showed the trailer yesterday.

    • boopalanj   May 4, 2013 at 4:24 am

      I think Hollywood came to that state long ago.

    • araj   May 5, 2013 at 6:56 am

      “There’s another Thor (The Superhero β€œHammerer”) movie coming”

      Man of Steel is also coming πŸ™‚ Responds:

      Indeed it is.

      On June 14. πŸ™

  4. Madmax673   May 3, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    Did you sit through the full credits?

    I heard “Dr. Bruce Banner” shows up in the end sleeping through the entire story, Tony Stark narrates πŸ™‚ Responds:

    No, just for a few seconds.

    I was bored stiff by the end.

  5. vedagiris   May 3, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    But I too live hopelessly in India. So I want to share a small part of my burden, by my companion SI.

  6. Madmax673   May 4, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    SI, are you planning on watching Kentucky Derby?

    Slightly off topic:

    I was just looking at this “Roku”. What’s the purpose?

    If we buy it does it mean we can get rid off cable/dish/directv etc? Responds:

    1. No, Sweetie! I ain’t watching no derby!

    I just returned from my first visit to a brewery and after sampling several beers (Extra Stout, IPA etc) at the brewery, I’m a wee bit tipsy! πŸ˜‰

    2. Roku is a set-top box that lets you access several different types of movie/TV/Entertainment content like Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc via Internet streaming on your big-screen TV.

    Roku is not strictly speaking a replacement for cable or satellite TV.

    I’ve used the old (first??) version of Roku for several years now and I’m happy with the quality and customer service!

    • Madmax673   May 5, 2013 at 2:07 pm

      Ha ha! Hope you enjoyed the beers. Did you try Dubhe?

      This Derby was interesting coz ‘Gary Stevens’ portrayed “George Woolf”, a crucial character in “Sea Biscuit”. I didn’t know he was a real life jockey, then. So it got my interest and I was rooting for the horse he was riding (“Oxbow”). It was his comeback after retirement. He lost however.

      But the race was really good! “Orb” was way back until the final stretch and it gave a whole new gear all of a sudden and won it. Responds:

      Tried so many varieties…will do a post today or tomorrow.

      Saw the YouTube version of the Derby.

      Quite a crowd for a 2:23-min event!

      Orb did come from way behind in the early phases to take the cup.

  7. shadowfax_arbit   May 6, 2013 at 8:52 am

    Is Bombay Talkies released there?

    I hear it is good! Responds:

    No, it did not make it here.

  8. Madmax673   May 7, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    Off topic:

    SI, did you check your email? Responds:

    Just responded, Sweetie!

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