Night Shyamalan’s Critics Drop Their Trousers, Again

Somebody, please call an ambulance for Manoj ‘Night’ Shyamalan.

Having developed a taste for Shymalan’s brown ass, Hollywood critics have dropped their trousers.


They’re determined to bugger the sh*t out of Shyamalan and drive him out of Hollywood.

Yes, folks, yes, Shyamalan’s new movie After Earth is being brutally buggered by critics.

As of 10:52AM Eastern Time today, After Earth had a miserable rating of just 15% on Rotten Tomatoes.

After Earth is a post-apocalypse, sci-fi movie set a thousand years hence.

Will Smith and son Jaden Smith (of Karate Kid fame) play the main characters.

Besides taking credit for the story, Will Smith also produced the movie (in partnership with Sony).

Trousers Drop

Here’s how some American movie critics see After Earth:

* John DeFore of Hollywood Reporter dismissed it as “a disappointingly generic film.”

* To Scott Foundas of Variety, After Earth is “one long anticlimax.” While coming down on both Smiths, Foundas also slams into Shyamalan flaying him as “a director-for-hire here, his disinterest palpable from first frame to last.”

* Lou Lumenick of New York Post dubs After Earth a “crashing bore.” Lumenick comes down hard on Shymalan: “Eleven years and several progressively more dreadful movies after “Signs,’’ director M. Night Shyamalan would be lucky to get a gig directing traffic.  His work on this reported $150 million vanity project manages to generate no suspense or excitement. Only yawns.”

* Mike Scott of Times Picayune finds After Earth “a fairly cumbersome load to shoulder.” Scott writes, “Shyamalan’s film — which doesn’t feel like a Shyamalan film, for better or for worse — does contain a worthwhile message about conquering one’s fear and being the master of one’s emotion.”

After Earth releases in theaters tonight in the U.S.

5 Responses to "Night Shyamalan’s Critics Drop Their Trousers, Again"

  1. Madmax673   May 30, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    “Having developed a taste for Shyamalan’s brown ass” — SI trade mark at its best 😀

    It’s hard to understand what’s going through Will Smith’s head. He turned down the offer to play “Neo” in “Matrix” to star in that nauseating “Wild Wild West”!

    He even turned down the lead role in “Django Unchained” thinking that Schultz character was the main lead.

    So Will Smith taking credit for the story just doesn’t make sense. But I wonder if this negative publicity might just make it a hit like Shyamalan’s hideous “The Last Airbender”. Responds:

    1. Me thinks After Earth has dud written all over.

    Perhaps the crash landing of the spacecraft on Earth (as per After Earth story) is more than symbolic.

    The film’s RT rating has now fallen to 13%.

    Night Shyamalan lately seems to be bringing out the beast in critics.

    To some degree, it’s racism. The main reason, I suppose, is that Shyamalan is turning out drivel.

    2. Will Smith was dumb to reject Django’s role. Most likely, he’d have walked off with the Oscar.

  2. Madmax673   June 3, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    This one looks interesting too.

    I like “His penchant for third act twists…” Responds:

    Interesting piece.

    But can Shyamalan survive the “After Earth” debacle?

    • Madmax673   June 3, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      I guess it shouldn’t bother him too much as he has made a lot of money already and some name.

      Just one more low budget hit and critics will once again develop a craving for his butt.

      Anyway, Jesse Eisenberg should be in cloud nine right now. Responds:

      • Madmax673   June 3, 2013 at 7:56 pm

        Carrot Top should be pissed.

        I loved it when she called him “Morgey” and that he was her buddy.

        She could’ve countered him even better. Responds:

        Will be a storm in a tea cup, by tomorrow!

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