Car Pooja in Progress at a U.S. East Coast Hindu Temple
As a Hindu, albeit a non-believing one, SI is mad as hell.
What’s wrong with us Hindus that we should be so flagrantly, blatantly discriminated against by America!
Hey Narendra Modi, where are you when we Hindus need you most?
Watching Muslim Wankers
This morning when I read that NSA and other U.S. law enforcement agencies were watching Muslim wankers watching online porn, it only added to my deep-rooted Hindu sense of insecurity (Hindus account for 80% of India’s population and yet they are deeply insecure).
As anyone who has that body appendage known as the brain knows, Muslims in America are monitored round the clock.
Their mosques are monitored, their calls are monitored, their contacts are monitored, their restaurants are monitored, their flights to Pakistan, India, Egypt and Iran get extra scrutiny ad infinitum.
Hell, a Muslim can’t piss in America without the NSA, FBI, CIA, DOJ, NYPD, U.S. Army, Navy and Air Force knowing about it and holding a conference call to discuss the terrorist implications of the Islamic pee-ists. 😉
Now Muslims can’t even engage in the favorite American pastime – watching porn – because some NSA or FBI operative is monitoring them with the intention of blackmail.
Ditto with Sikhs
Sikhs in America also enjoy the privilege of non-stop surveillance by the FBI, CIA, NSA and other law enforcement agencies, particularly at airports.
Any Sikh with a turban must surely be an uncle, brother, son or son-in-law of Osama bin Laden, right?
Things have gotten so bad for Sikhs that they’ve developed a smartphone app to easily send a complaint to their monitors about being illegally monitored.
Yes, the Sikhs complain about being illegally monitored to the very people monitoring them.
Well, nobody ever said Sikhs were smart.
The Sikhs’ great love – Khalistan – is already in their head. 😉
Discrimination Against Hindus
But when it comes to the Hindu minority, America draws a line.
Hindus in America are not under mass surveillance a la Muslims or Sikhs.
Now that kind of discrimination against Hindus drives me crazy.
What’s wrong with us Hindus that we should be discriminated against by not being constantly monitored.
Aren’t the Hindus as crazy as any other religious minority in America.
If you ask me, I think Hindus are the craziest of the crazy bastards in America.
Hell, we Hindus still drink Cow-ca-Cola (cow piss), worship our cars, screw-drivers, hammers and cutting pliers (we call it Ayudha Pooja), build four temples in every American city (a North Indian Temple, a South Indian temple, a Swaminarayan temple and a Sai Mandir) and clamor for Diwali to be declared a national holiday in America.
I can, to some degree, understand the ignoratti worshiping Jesus, Allah, Rama, Krishna etc.
Better Jesus or Allah than Salman Khan or Lindsay Lohan.
But who in their right mind would worship a Nissan Maxima, a made-in-China screw-driver or a German cutting plier?
Only the most dangerous whackos a.k.a. Hindus would prostrate before cars, box cutters and cutting-pliers
Doesn’t that make all Hindus in America worthy of being monitored?
Yet America ignores the whacko Hindus in a blatant act of discrimination.
It’s time all we Hindus got our act together and demand mass surveillance.
Discrimination against Hindus must end! 😉
A Lexus Car Pooja at a Midwest Hindu Temple
SI, the Exceptional Hindu
Although the FBI, NSA and their security cohorts have typically ignored Hindus in America, they’ve made an exception for the peerless SI.
They’ve put SI under intense surveillance, bugged SI’s calls, engaged in IP spoofing, planted keystroke logging malware on SI’s Mac, and created an alias to post comments on the SI blog, befriend SI and send frequent flattering e-mails in an entrapment bid.
In pursuit of the entrapment strategy, an FBI agent has even written reviews on the SI blog.
It’s only through sustained content analysis SI realized the frequent commenter and occasional writer on the SI blog was not an Indian but a U.S. law enforcement official.
SI must be the only blog in the world where the FBI and/or its law enforcement partners have actually written reviews and received payments. No kidding!
Now as any schmuck knows, U.S. surveillance embraces the three-hops strategy.
This means anyone under surveillance will not only have all his or her contacts monitored but the contacts of the original contacts also fall under surveillance.
Since SI has been under intense surveillance for roughly the last 10-months, this means all you chutiyas, Telugu biddas and Ajith’s rabid fans have also been exposed to NSA and FBI surveillance.
Well, as the putzhead apologists for NSA and FBI often say, if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear! 😉