Why Does America Hate Hindus?

Car Pooja at Bridgewater Venkateswara Temple, New JerseyCar Pooja in Progress at a U.S. East Coast Hindu Temple

As a Hindu, albeit a non-believing one, SI is mad as hell.

What’s wrong with us Hindus that we should be so flagrantly, blatantly discriminated against by America!

Hey Narendra Modi, where are you when we Hindus need you most?

Watching Muslim Wankers

This morning when I read that NSA and other U.S. law enforcement agencies were watching Muslim wankers watching online porn, it only added to my deep-rooted Hindu sense of insecurity (Hindus account for 80% of India’s population and yet they are deeply insecure).

As anyone who has that body appendage known as the brain knows, Muslims in America are monitored round the clock.

Their mosques are monitored, their calls are monitored, their contacts are monitored, their restaurants are monitored, their flights to Pakistan, India, Egypt and Iran get extra scrutiny ad infinitum.

Hell, a Muslim can’t piss in America without the NSA, FBI, CIA, DOJ, NYPD, U.S. Army, Navy and Air Force knowing about it and holding a conference call to discuss the terrorist implications of the Islamic pee-ists. 😉

Now Muslims can’t even engage in the favorite American pastime – watching porn – because some NSA or FBI operative is monitoring them with the intention of blackmail.

Ditto with Sikhs

Sikhs in America also enjoy the privilege of non-stop surveillance by the FBI, CIA, NSA and other law enforcement agencies, particularly at airports.

Any Sikh with a turban must surely be an uncle, brother, son or son-in-law of Osama bin Laden, right?

Things have gotten so bad for Sikhs that they’ve developed a smartphone app to easily send a complaint to their monitors about being illegally monitored.

Yes, the Sikhs complain about being illegally monitored to the very people monitoring them.

Well, nobody ever said Sikhs were smart.

The Sikhs’ great love – Khalistan – is already in their head. 😉

Discrimination Against Hindus

But when it comes to the Hindu minority, America draws a line.

Hindus in America are not under mass surveillance a la Muslims or Sikhs.

Now that kind of discrimination against Hindus drives me crazy.

What’s wrong with us Hindus that we should be discriminated against by not being constantly monitored.

Aren’t the Hindus as crazy as any other religious minority in America.

If you ask me, I think Hindus are the craziest of the crazy bastards in America.

Hell, we Hindus still drink Cow-ca-Cola (cow piss), worship our cars, screw-drivers, hammers and cutting pliers (we call it Ayudha Pooja), build four temples in every American city (a North Indian Temple, a South Indian temple, a Swaminarayan temple and a Sai Mandir) and clamor for Diwali to be declared a national holiday in America.

I can, to some degree, understand the ignoratti worshiping Jesus, Allah, Rama, Krishna etc.

Better Jesus or Allah than Salman Khan or Lindsay Lohan.

But who in their right mind would worship a Nissan Maxima, a made-in-China screw-driver or a German cutting plier?

Only the most dangerous whackos a.k.a. Hindus would prostrate before cars, box cutters and cutting-pliers

Doesn’t that make all Hindus in America worthy of being monitored?

Yet America ignores the whacko Hindus in a blatant act of discrimination.

It’s time all we Hindus got our act together and demand mass surveillance.

Discrimination against Hindus must end! 😉

Car Pooja at a Midwest Hindu TempleA Lexus Car Pooja at a Midwest Hindu Temple

SI, the Exceptional Hindu

Although the FBI, NSA and their security cohorts have typically ignored Hindus in America, they’ve made an exception for the peerless SI.

They’ve put SI under intense surveillance, bugged SI’s calls, engaged in IP spoofing, planted keystroke logging malware on SI’s Mac, and created an alias to post comments on the SI blog, befriend SI and send frequent flattering e-mails in an entrapment bid.

In pursuit of the entrapment strategy, an FBI agent has even written reviews on the SI blog.

It’s only through sustained content analysis SI realized the frequent commenter and occasional writer on the SI blog was not an Indian but a U.S. law enforcement official.

SI must be the only blog in the world where the FBI and/or its law enforcement partners have actually written reviews and received payments. No kidding!

Now as any schmuck knows, U.S. surveillance embraces the three-hops strategy.

This means anyone under surveillance will not only have all his or her contacts monitored but the contacts of the original contacts also fall under surveillance.

Since SI has been under intense surveillance for roughly the last 10-months, this means all you chutiyas, Telugu biddas and Ajith’s rabid fans have also been exposed to NSA and FBI surveillance.

Well, as the putzhead apologists for NSA and FBI often say, if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear!  😉

8 Responses to "Why Does America Hate Hindus?"

  1. guruji   November 28, 2013 at 2:50 am

    You got me 🙂

    Hope the FBI nails you and sends you to the g**est federal prison 🙂

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Supermax for SI. 😉

  2. boopalanj   November 28, 2013 at 5:44 am

    You said the last part already in a comment. But I did not take it seriously then 🙂

    Now, we’re exposed to surveillance!!! :-O

    Sudden rant and collapse! 😉

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. Rant?

    Don’t use words you don’t understand!

    2. You write: But I did not take it seriously then

    Wise folks are often ignored by their vice contemporaries! 😉

  3. araj   November 28, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    This must be one of your best articles, humor-wise at least 🙂 🙂

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Humor and some degree of fatalism are indispensable aids to survival in present-day America.

    By the way, the last section of the post (SI, the Exceptional Hindu) is fact, not fiction!

    They’ve spent a good bit of money.

    • araj   December 1, 2013 at 3:46 am

      “By the way, the last section of the post (SI, the Exceptional Hindu) is fact, not fiction!”

      Shouldn’t that be a cause to get flattered? 🙂

      btw, to what end could they have tried to entrap you?And, what gave them the idea that you are the candidate for entrapment in the first place? 😉

    • Dr.Logu   December 1, 2013 at 11:04 pm

      What a lovely post I!!
      While it’s shocking to know how many of our a**es are in FBI’s hook..it’s one of the best post of SI in recent times combining all the flavors which makes this blog extraordinaire…Hats off SI and Snowden!!

  4. msveda   November 29, 2013 at 6:53 pm

    Hindus are always divided and extremely narrow minded to be taken seriously by FBI.

    If all Hindus are given weapons, they would unleash among themselves, so others don’t take them very seriously.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Hindus are pussies.

    They lack the cojones that Muslims, Christians and Jews have!

    That’s why Hindus have been condemned to servitude for the last 1,000 years (BTW, the Sikhs are no different)!

    I find it distressing that five years after the Mumbai Attacks (it ended exactly five years back to the day) we haven’t bombed Pakistan to rubble.

    Violence is the only solution.

    Look at America!

    America keeps dissuading India from attacking Pakistan but they keep bombing the frontier regions on the Pak-Afghan border day in and day out with their drones.

    Because America knows bombing and violence works.

    Indians a.k.a. Hindus are emasculated pussies who are destined to keep getting raped day in and day out, century in and century out.

    That’s why Hindus became prey to Muslims starting from the 11th century; then became slaves to the British; and are now coolies to Western powers.

    India must militarize fast, militarize indigenously and flaunt their military strength by bombing Pakistan and annexing Bangladesh and Nepal.

  5. ravich   December 4, 2013 at 11:44 am

    @SI We hindus… build four temples in every American city (a North Indian Temple, a South Indian temple, a Swaminarayan temple and a Sai Mandir) and clamor for Diwali to be declared a national holiday in America.


    Funny yet absolutely true.

    Public schools in Edison do close for Diwali.

    And no wonder we go all ga-ga over Obama lighting a lamp in the White House.

    Did you read about the GAP ad featuring a Sikh and how they reacted when it was defaced with racist graffiti?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. OMG, I didn’t know Edison public schools are closed for Diwali.

    But that’s terrible discrimination because my favorite Hindu festival is not Diwali but Vinayaka (Ganesh) Chaturthi!

    And my friend’s favorite is Pongal!

    His girlfriend’s favorite Hindu festival is Ugadi and her ex-boyfriend’s favorite is Nag Panchami (snake worship by Hindus)……!

    So we demand a holiday for all Hindu festivals in Edison public schools.

    Since there must be a Hindu festival every day of the year, Edison kids don’t need to go to school at all. 😉 That is also a way to help struggling Oak Tree Road businesses!

    2. I read the stories about graffiti on the ad featuring the Sikhs….I thought GAP got good publiShitty during the holiday season over the whole controversy!


  6. Madmax673   December 8, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    Hmm…I wonder what would Ron Jeremy worship if he had been a Hindu besides camera, lens, c stand, boom, dolly, light etc. I mean for “Ayutha” Pooja.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Ha ha ha!

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