Hobbit: Desolation Of Smaug – Much Hobbled

By Madmax 673

The only forehand knowledge I had about Hobbit is that it’s a Tolkien fiction and I used to play a game called “Hobbit Rampage” which had a lovely BG music throughout the adventure.

I had butterflies flashing inside as I was going to watch this flick because of the number of characters involved in the original fiction which I have not read before since fantasy has never been my cup of tea.

Starts at Bree — on the border of Shires. An Old man called Gandalf pushes Thorin to become the emperor of a place. For that to happen, he needs to obtain a rare blue stone called the Arkenstone.

The problem however is that the Arkenstone is in a mysterious CGI mountain with a special CGI keyhole that has a bad ass CGI dragon as its watch guard.

To accomplish this, a stealthy burglar, a hobbit named Bilbo (Martin Freeman), is hired along with his company.

How our hobbit overcomes all hurdles and confronts the dragon forms the “crux” of the story.

Did our hobbit get the Arkenstone? Does Thorin become king of Erebor?

That’s for you all to watch on the big screen.

Bad Part

– Statutory warning: This ain’t no date movie. There are some Xtreme close ups of the Orcs that look unbelievably ugly. It may take weeks for your spouses to get sexually aroused.

– A romantic bit in the middle made me lose track of the Bilbo Baggins’ adventure.

– For about close to half hour in the middle, Bilbo went missing making me wonder if the story had shifted to the love track between beautiful elf Tauriel and another imprisoned dwarf, Kily, which is a colossal let down.

– There was no trace of how Kily is doing after getting critically wounded.

– There is sword fighting in the middle that was bad. Reminded me of the late swashbuckling Tamil film star MGR’s antics with a sword!

– With the help of a special CGI light our hero finds the “special” key hole and exclaims “I found the key hole”!! And the key drops and while it’s about to fall off the mountain a guy steps on it. Takes a look at it with bliss followed by the bunch of dwarfs. Felt like shouting Assholes!!

– I was able to hear murmurs like this around the theater hall. It went from “Yuck”, “eew”, “gross” etc.

– This is the first movie in my life where a beheading left me cold. No feeling. None! It was just like “Hey, he was beheaded” (just like “hey girl voice”)

– Acting was below par. I guess real acting was not called for. It looked like theater performance particularly where Tauriel says her lines along Orlando Bloom. Looked to me like they were looking for a fourth wall cue.

– The movie is two hours and 45 minutes.

Good Part

– Cinematography was splendid. Particularly the scene where Bilbo pops his head out of the leaves from the dark to see the light.

– I liked the scene where dwarfs get attacked by the spider even if it was CGI generated.

– Even though VFX, CGI play major part in the movie, the execution was not bad.

– Costume/production design and make up prosthetics deserve a special mention.

– The scene where a guy takes off his hat revealing a bird’s nest cracked me up. But it was just me. Made me wonder where the Tamil phrase “Vandhuttaan poraa koondu thalaiyan” (“here comes the pigeon nested head”) came from.


The afternoon show had a fair crowd.

Mostly Tolkien fans, I presume. A few people walked out of the theater in between.

I am not 100% sure if the movie had justified Tolkien’s version.

If you are only looking for lush colors, CGI gimmicks alone, go for it.

Or else, watch at your own risk.

2 Responses to "Hobbit: Desolation Of Smaug – Much Hobbled"

  1. Naveen   December 15, 2013 at 3:07 am

    The Lord of the Rings movies were far superior than the two Hobbit movies.

    Had Peter Jackson stayed true to his artistic instincts then he would have made one Hobbit movie.

    Instead he is making a trilogy by stretching the story very very thin.

  2. Arun s   December 15, 2013 at 9:52 am


    Hello SI,

    Recently watched or rather endured the misery of tamil film Ivan Vera Mathiri.

    The film tormented me in sleep.

    Hope SI keeps to to English or foreign films. And I find films like Ip Man to be several notches higher than the usual Hollywood standard.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    I believe the movie you mention released here too in a few theatres.

    The other day I watched Only God Forgives on DVD….I’ll have the review up later today.

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