PK starts off with a nude, 200% human-like alien (Aamir Khan) alighting from a flying saucer spaceship into the Rajasthan desert and wearing a shining, round green pendant around his neck.
Once the nude alien loses his green pendant (actually a remote control to hail back the spaceship) to a thief, transfers the two-in-one transistor/cassette player covering his private parts to his hands and starts wearing clothes, the film quickly derails into an unending series of absurdities that get more painful to endure as time passes.
By the time, the alien turns into PK, learns to speak Bhojpuri (by using his hands like a USB plug into a hooker’s hands and backuping her language into his mind) and starts yodelling about Wrong Number connections to God, the movie has become another examplar of the mindless Bollywood balderdash that halfwit producers like Vidhu Vinod Chopra revel in dishing out every Friday to a nation of billion plus lobotomized Hanumans.
Since most Indians are the archetypal earthling Chutiyas depicted in the movie, doubtless they’ll smack their lips, wet their trousers and swoon over the baloney PK abounds in.
I bet countless yokels in Mumbai, Dilli, Patiala, Patna and Hyderabad are already wah-wah-wah-ing on Twitter and FB about the ‘astounding’ job Aamir Khan did in the film when truth be said all the clown did for the entirety of this ridiculous farce was roll his eyes left, right, top and down or open them insanely wide.
If what midget Khan does is acting, color me confused.
The message of this treacly nonsense is that Pakistanis are not bad people, Muslim boys do not betray Hindu girls after bedding them, Earthlings are lying sick fucks who say one thing and mean another and aliens are nice nudists brimming with love and understanding.
I’m no expert on Pakistani people or Muslim boys. And I’m not too happy with Earthlings myself.
But I’m certain of one thing – Vidhu Vinod Chopra and Rajkumar Hirani (director) are 420s (Indianese for charlatans and crooks) who betray us repeatedly with contrived scripts and cartoons of movies.
Since unimaginative Bollywood morons can’t think of a movie without an improbable European setting, we have an Indian girl Jaggu in Belgium.
Jaggu is played by Anushka Sharma adhering diligently to her de rigueur wardrobe of less (clothes) is more (flesh).