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As best as we can tell, Amitabh Bachchan doesn’t look like a fire hydrant, a tree or a public urinal.

Or, does he?

Like dogs lifting their hind legs and letting go on a fire hydrant, UK moviegoers seem to have a Pavlovian urge to unzip and empty their fire-hoses on Amitabh Bachchan films these days.

It’s happening again and again and again.

Perhaps, that’s the audience’s way of telling Amitabh Bachchan in not so subtle a manner – time to pack up and move on, wig wallah.

This time, Amitabh Bachchan’s shame and disaster is Teen Patti.

For the February 26-28, 2010 opening weekend at the UK box office, Teen Patti has had a miserable run with a total gross of just £15,368 and average gross of a pitiful £768.

We can’t think of any other Indian movie with a lower average gross. Can you?

Even Tamil movies like Sathyam and Peranmai featuring no-name fellas have had higher average gross than Teen Patti.

Here’s a look at how Teen Patti and a few other Amitabh Bachchan movies have fared at the U.K. box office lately vis-a-vis some prominent Bollywood films:

Related Stories:
Critics Take a Leak on Bachchan Sr’s Teen Patti

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Folks, what is it that Tamils in the UK drink?

Whatever it is, could we please force some of the same down the deep throats of Tamils in the U.S., Tamils in India, Tamils in Malaysia, Tamils in Sri Lanka et al.

It’s with mucho gusto we disclose to you that UK Tamils have soundly rejected Gautam Menon’s latest piece of shit Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa.

If any shit deserves to fail, it’s this stupid shit Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya.

Boy, we haven’t had such good news this cold winter in the U.S.

A class-less, crass-full movie, Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya is amateur stuff that high school students here would be embarrassed of making. Utter drivel.

Well, no ever accused Kollywood of a surfeit of quality. Right?

For the opening February 26-28, 2010 weekend, Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya could manage a total gross of a mere  £13,247 and average gross of £2,649.

Pitiful.

In what can only be described as the mother of all disgraces, Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa has fared worse than Vishal’s monstrosity Sathyam.

Now that’s a feat we never thought Gautam Menon could achieve. But the Menon bozo never ceases to surprise when it comes to winning booby prizes.

Here see for yourself in the below table how badly Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa has fared at the UK box office compared to a few prominent Tamil movies:

Here’s an excerpt from SearchIndia.com’s review of Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa:

Boring Shit
Is there any one among you that can answer this question – How did this Vinnaithaandi Varuvaayaa abortion come to be made and how did it get to be released in theaters? Continue reading »

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