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Gosh, it’s nearly a month since our last episode of highlighting happenings in Incredible India.

If it’s India, can Sania, acid attacks, starvation deaths and the like be far behind.

Here’s a look at some of the only-in-India stories:

* Where have all the Indian men gone.

The Indian census says there about 602 million males in India, and yet not one worthy enough of Indian tennis player Sania ‘chronic loser‘ Mirza.

The poor woman finally had to seek the help of Pakistani Chutiyas to help her out.

Tch tch. Sad.

Or maybe the census is all wrong and there are no men in India.

Only women and hijras. Possible na? ;)

* A 9th standard school girl in the South Indian town of Tenali in the state of Andhra Pradesh is battling for life after a 23-year-old spurned, love-lorn youth hurled acid at her.

Here is an excerpt from the story in the TOI:

A 16-year-old class IX girl student is battling for life after being subjected to an acid attack by a jilted lover at Tenali in this district on Wednesday evening. Continue reading »

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Yipee, multitasking (and a bunch of other features like folders) is coming to the iPhone.

A few hours ago, Apple previewed its iPhone OS 4 software with multitasking for third party apps as the highlight.

Scheduled to debut this summer, the multitasking capability for third party apps is supposed to provide developers seven new multitasking services they can add to their apps. They include background audio, VoIP and location, push and local notifications and fast app switching that preserves the state of an application when you return to it after checking out another application.

This means apps like Pandora can play music in the background, VoIP apps can receive a VoIP call even when the iPhone is asleep or the user is running other apps or get directions while listening to music.

Apple also released a beta (trial) version of the iPhone OS 4 software to developers.

Steve Jobs Forgot Us
Alas, we won’t be able to check out the new multitasking features because they won’t work on our two-year-old iPhone 3G.

You see, to get multitasking you must have iPhone 3GS or third generation iPod touch (i.e. late 2009 models with 32GB or 64GB) devices. Well, since we’re nearing the end of our service contract with AT&T maybe we’ll renew it and get the iPhone 3GS. Or wait for the next generation iPhone.

Worth It?
But the more we think of it the less certain we are if the addition of multitasking capability to the upcoming iPhone OS 4.0 is really a cool thing.

Think. Should a small form factor neat device (be it the iPhone, Blackberry or wateva) with all its memory, processor and battery limitations really have multitasking capabilities. Continue reading »

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It’s hard not to feel a huge degree of schadenfreude over Yelp’s pitiful plight these days.

For the benefit of those not living in the U.S.,Yelp is an online destination for Reviews of restaurants and other businesses.

Easily Manipulable
We’ve always believed a lot of reviews on the Yelp site are junk.

Why?

Because it’s hard to prevent a PR agency, friends and family or even the owner of a restaurant or small business from creating a Yelp account and posting a flattering review.

Or a competitor from badmouthing a rival business.

Or an idler with lots of time from just scribbling some drivel.

We’ve seen reviews of NYC restaurants that have absolutely no resemblance to reality.

As we’ve said ad nauseum, ad infinitum we may not be able to adequately explain E=MC2 but we do know Indian food.

So we never cease to be surprised at the flattering reviews of Indian restaurants on Yelp, many of which we suspect are either written by PR people hired for the purpose or by friends/family.

Yelp Reputation Battered
If the easily manipulable reviews are one side of the Yelp nonsense, the other dirty side of Yelp is its stinking business practices.

Over the last few weeks, Yelp’s credibility has taken a severe beating with charges of extortion, propping up positive reviews and hiding negative reviews of paid advertisers, lawsuits et al. Continue reading »

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Tamil film Paiyaa has not fared well at the box office.

The average gross of the Lingusamy-directed, Karthi-Tammanna Bhatia starring Tamil movie Paiyaa at the UK box office is less than even that of Sathyam, one of the worst movies known to human civilization.

For the April 2, 2010-April 4, 2010 opening weekend, Paiyaa had an average gross of £3,503 while Sathyam had an average gross of £4,020.

Excuse us, while we wipe our (crocodile) tears.

Want more bad news?

Well, here we go.

Even that non-actor Ajith’s Asal had a higher average gross.

As you can see in the below chart, director Lingusamy’s previous crap show Bheema (2008) also had higher average gross at the UK box office.

Are we surprised over the Paiyaa debacle? Continue reading »

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People needed to know the real Salman Khan. A certain image of mine was constantly being projected to my fans, which was untrue….I felt that it was just being unfair to me as well as to people who were being bombarded with only negative reports about me. So it was high time I changed that perception.

- Bollywood Flop King Salman Khan in Indian newspaper DNA

Untrue image? Unfair negative reports?

Ha ha ha ha.

We haven’t stopped laughing at this buffoon’s nonsense.

Has this monkey done one positive thing in his life except open his big flop mouth.

Salman ‘Flop’ Khan has been charged in the Indian courts with killing of both animals (deer) and humans (poor pavement dwellers).

After the incident in which the Land Cruiser allegedly driven by Salman Khan ran over four poor pavement dwellers, killing one and injuring three others, this Salman ‘Coward‘ Khan ran away from the accident spot.

Over the last couple of years, Salman ‘Flop‘  Khan’s movies have fared pitifully at the U.S. box office suggesting the audience no longer cares about this joker and has abandoned him.

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For the answer to the above question, you’ll have to wait for the U.S. courts to determine whether Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul is guilty of sexually assaulting a Minnesota teenager.

But trust the Tamils to get into trouble wherever they go.

Trouble follows Tamils just as night follows day: Sri Lanka, Minnesota, Malaysia, Mumbai (remember the Mafia don Varadaraja Mudaliar) and Christ knows where else.

U.S. publications today are all atwitter about the case of  Catholic priest Father Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul, presumably a Tamil from the South Indian state of Tamil Nadu going by his name,  for alleged sexual assault of a 14-year-old girl when he was working at the Blessed Sacrament Church in Minnesota in 2004.

Here’s an excerpt from the Star Tribune story about Joseph Palanivel Jeyapaul:

Jeyapaul is wanted in the U.S. on two counts of criminal sexual conduct stemming from accusations he assaulted a young, female parishioner in the fall of 2004 at the Blessed Sacrament Church in Greenbush, where he was working. Each charge carries a sentence of up to 30 years. Continue reading »

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