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If you are willing to ignore the cheap ambiance of the place, if you are ready to hold your nose at the pissy odor emanating  from the corner where the Sambar vessel and plastic cups/spoons are kept and if you are prepared to eat out of flimsy plastic plates in a self-serve restaurant, Dosa Hut on Newark Ave in Jersey City will more than likely please you with its decent quality, low-priced food.

In any case, most of this hole-in-the-wall restaurant’s customers are Indians, who are unlikely to be deterred by such ‘minor irritants’ like the smell of piss or ugly ambiance. Let’s face it. If there’s one thing these sweaty, stinking Indians are accustomed to from birth, it’s the  smell of piss and shit. After all, Mera Mahaan Bharat - from Kashmir in the North to Kanyakumari in the South and from Kutch in the West to Kohima in the East – is really one vast piss-pot masquerading as a nation.

Right, na?

Hole in the Wall
As we strolled down the Indian strip on Newark Avenue in Jersey City the other day, we heard desperate bellowing from our stomach for some South Indian fare.

No sooner did we see the Dosa name on the board, than an adrenalin rush heaved us into this hole in the wall.

Although there are about 10 tables, Dosa Hut has the look and feel of a cheap takeout joint than a restaurant you’d want to go out on a date with your horny-as-hell, dark-skinned khem-cho Gujju girlfriend.

You go to the counter attached to the kitchen, pick up the dirty, curry-stained menu, order what you want, pay up and return to your table.

Soon as the food is ready, the pretty man-chester gal at the counter yells out the name of the item and you go and pick up the food on plastic plates.

Being in a gluttonous mood, we ordered and quickly fell upon a variety of items including Idli, Masala Dosa, Medhu Vada, Pongal, Chapati and several kinds of curries.

Now, hear our verdict: For the most part, the food at Dosa Hut found favor with us.

Pissy Odor but Fine Food

Masala Dosa – Any Time Treat
A monster of a Dosa, Ghee Masala Dosa ($5.50) took us down memory lane to the countless occasions we’ve had Ghee Roast (a.k.a. Ghee Masala Dosa) in the far corners of Tamil Nadu, the Dosa haven of India.

Crisp with a lot of potato/onion filling inside, Dosa Hut’s flavorful Ghee Masala Dosa came with Ginger Chutney and Coconut Chutney. Both the Chutneys were fresh and tasty but we’d have definitely liked the Coconut Chutney a tad spicier.

Hey, when your clientele is mostly Indian shouldn’t you be pandering to the fiery desi palates than genuflecting before effete American palates. Ditto with the potato/onion filling.

For the average niggardly desi bastard, the Ghee Masala Dosa alone would easily do for a meal. And a fine meal, it’d be. Continue reading »

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Boy, oh boy, Shirdi Sai Baba seems pissed with his ardent devotee Hrithik Roshan. Really, really pissed.

And this after Hrithik went to Shirdi recently begging for the success of his movie Kites.

Actuals – Worse than Estimates
Folks, the box office numbers of Hrithik Roshan’s crap-show Kites are out and the actuals for the opening May 21-23, 2010 weekend for this junk are worse than the estimates.

Hell, the much-hyped movie failed to even hit the $1 million mark in total gross. A measly $958,673 was all that this junk could manage in total gross.

And that is a mighty big shame considering all the hype, considering the wide release of the movie (208 theaters in the U.S.) and considering all the money that’s been poured into this film.

Kites’ average gross of $4,609 is less than the average gross for Akshay Kumar’s horrendously bad Chandni Chowk to China ($4,846).

Not just CC2C, a horde of mediocre Bollywood movies including Race, Delhi 6, Dil Bole Hadippa, Kambakkht Ishq et al have higher average gross compared to Kites.

Can it get any worse? Hell, No.

Here, see for yourself how badly this junk has fared at the U.S. box office compared to a few prominent Bollywood films:

Hey Hrithik, next time you might want to pay a visit to the temple of the Script Baba. ;)

Guys, if you haven’t seen Kites count yourself blessed by Shirdi Sai Baba.

Related Content:
Kites Review – OMG, Utter Garbage
Match Point Review – OMG, Can Kites Match This?
Kites Opening Show USA – Poor Response

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