(Bollywood film Singham is a remake of the Tamil Singam)
Oh, no. Singam is not a bad movie. Most definitely not.
Au contraire, it’s a hideously awful movie. Asingam (trashy), to use an apposite Tamil term.
Sick. Crude. Trashy. Ugly.
All of the above appellations fit this depressingly disgusting film to a T.
If Singam proves anything at all, it’s that its hero Sori-Padam Surya and director Hari retain their unerring eye for grotesque perversity.
By God, if we were Sivakumar Senior, we’d forthwith haul our son Surya Sivakumar to the nearest abattoir, bring down the knife on the wayward offspring, fling the carcass along with those of the pigs, goats and Hari (director of Singam) and beg forgiveness from Tamil people around the world for this sordid treachery.
That’d be just penitence for the repeated suffering inflicted by the recidivist Surya on 74 million Tamils over the last few years, a pain that continues unabated with his latest film Singam.
Bad Opening
There were all of 12 people for the opening show of Singam in the U.S. (at Anil Ambani’s Big Cinemas in North Bergen, NJ, just outside midtown Manhattan).
We didn’t see such much enthusiasm for the movie given that some people were walking in and out in the middle of the movie. Guys, you’d do that after paying $11.50 only if the movie is a pathetic piece of shit, which undoubtedly Singam is.
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With a fig-leaf of a boring story, a miserable cartoon of a villain, loud noise masquerading as music, a hero who thinks yelling is acting and a heroine who alternates between pouting and flashing her thighs and tits, Singam is but the latest instance of a bunch of gibbering monkeys perpetrating big-time fraud in an avaricious effort to rob you of your time and money.
Boring Story
Surya is cast as Dorai Singam, the upright, doughty and much beloved police sub-inspector in a small village in the deep south of Tamil Nadu.
An unpleasant encounter with Mayilvahanam (Prakash Raj), a villain and extortionist from Chennai sets the stage for the ad infinitum clash between the two, which takes up the rest of this nonsense.
When the two main characters Dorai Singam and Mayilvahanam are not yelling at each other, they’re annoying the hell out of the audience with their sophomoric antics.
The de rigueur romance and skin-show angle is provided by the buxom babe Anushka Shetty playing Kavya, a young girl on a visit to the village/small town where Dorai Singam works.
Here’s how the police in Tamil Nadu investigate the complaint of a missing necklace from a young girl Kavya (Anushka):
Nightie eppadi kalatuve – Shirt Madhariya illa Banian Madhariya? (When you remove your nightie, do you do it like a shirt or like a banian?)
To double our agony, Dorai Singam’s sidekick Erimalai (Vivek) repeats this inanity a few minutes later in a futile, juvenile attempt to make us laugh.
Folks, such is the ceaseless drivel in this repellent nonsense. We swear on Jyothika. 
What a shame that when foreign filmmakers bring us richly layered movies like The Secret in Their Eyes, In Bruges, Kick Ass, A Prophet et al we’re constrained to seek cover from the Singam kinda dysentery raining down upon us.
Torchbearers of Trash
Surya Sivakumar is, of course, the principal torchbearer of this mindless carnage.
Screaming, lunging and howling like one possessed of the devil, Surya does not entertain as much as asphyxiate. Continue reading »
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