When it comes to most Indian restaurants in New York City, the question to ask is how low can these shitholes go.
The answer: Really, really low.
Believe us, guys. Believe us.
Shameless Scumbags
First, these Indian restaurants should start hiring real chefs not clueless buffoons who don’t know their way around the kitchen.
Second, scumbags who own restaurants like Baluchi’s (W.56th St) should pay their employees a living wage and stop stealing from diners. Hey, you low-life owner of Baluchi’s why the hell do you impose a gratuity on dining parties of less than four when your menu clearly states in unambiguous language that the 18% gratuity is for parties of four or more. In our lexicon, this is a crooked, disgraceful practice. We are inclined to send a photo of your menu and a copy of our bill to the New York Attorney General’s office to investigate your restaurant for cheating.
Third, wait-staff at Indian restaurants like Baluchi’s (W.56th St) should be taught the basics like providing clean plates, offering knives and forks with the food, refilling water-glasses and stop texting/fiddling with mobile phones in the dining hall.
Trashy Food
From the salty Chicken Curry to the sour Vegetable Jalfrezi to the God-awful Vegetable Biryani to the sugar-less desserts, Baluchi’s on W.56th St is a nightmare that we wouldn’t wish on our Pakistani or Chinese enemies or even on our bete noire like Abhishek Bachchan.
Our recent visit to the W.56th St outpost of Baluchi’s was our second trip there. A few years back, we entered its portals one evening around 5PM only to find two sleeping wait-staff members who seemed upset at being woken up and rudely told us that the restaurant would open only at 5:30PM.
This time, we walked in for lunch at which time all food items except desserts and drinks are 50% off regular prices.
Not bad, we thought little realizing the horror movie that Baluchi’s kitchen and wait-staff was preparing to screen for us in the next few minutes. 
Decent Opening, Poor Middle and Bad Ending
As we walked in, we were greeted by a friendly bespectacled waiter from Mumbai (Kishore?) who offered a choice of tables. The restaurant was mostly empty with just two tables taken when we entered.
We quickly placed our order for appetizers and entrees.
A short while later, a bespectacled waitress in a sullen mood deposited a dirty white plate with black spots on our table (which didn’t have the white table-cloth unlike many others).
And to our surprise, the Pakoras appetizer came in just a couple of minutes suggesting they were just reheated before being rushed out.
The sullen waitress who got us the appetizer never cared to get us our silverware and quickly disappeared. After waiting for a while, we hailed another waiter (the grim-looking, non-spectacled guy) and asked him for silverware. The man looked shocked that we’d not been provided silverware but could still mutter only a ‘oh’ and got the forks and knives and no, he didn’t care to apologize for his colleague’s total indifference. Continue reading »
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