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My Tryst with 72-Virgins by Osama bin Laden

 People, Terrorism  11 Responses »
May 022011
 
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Fellow Jihadis, our generous Pakistani benefactors ;) and my countless acolytes, a few short hours ago after recklessly thrusting my head and chest into the path of two American bullets I boarded a stealth, radar-evading CH-47 Chinook helicopter at Abbottabad in the wee hours of the night to embark upon my journey to a new compound.

My departure was hurried and the ride was bumpy.

Unlike the other uniformed passengers in the helicopter I was not wearing a seat-belt since I was lying on the floor with sticky red fluid oozing out of the corner of my left eye and the round hole in my chest.

I was greatly saddened to be traveling without the company of my young wives and countless children (ages 2-34). But I consoled myself with visions of the many pleasures that lay ahead.

After being unceremoniously heaved out of the helicopter at a height of 50,000 feet over the North Arabian Sea, defying gravity I ascended straight to Heaven although I must admit that my hallmark turban fell off during my supersonic journey upward.

Boy, it can get really cold at that height.

Minus my Turban, the guards at Heaven faced some difficulty in confirming my identity but once the sentinels logged on to the FBI Most Wanted web page and looked at my mug, it was all smooth sailing thereafter. The guards quickly called their commander on the new Red iPhone 8. On Earth, you fellas have only Black and White iPhone 4 but here they carry the newer Red, Green and Yellow versions as well. Just one of myriad ways in which Heaven is so different and so advanced compared to Earth.

The commander of the guards, a Caliban-lookalike straight out of that British playwright’s Tempest and wearing a name tag that weirdly said Caliban Khan, arrived in a few minutes with a Green iPhone 8 clipped to his belt.

“Sheikh, welcome to your new permanent home. Here, you’ll have no fear of betrayal, no need to change houses every few months, no worries about your dialysis treatment, no more putting out cassettes every 11-months and no more endless Jihad against America and other enemies of Islam. Only you and your 72 Virgins to fondle and play with as you please,” said the commander in his effusive welcome address bowing repeatedly in my direction. Continue reading »

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 Posted by at 12:35 pm  Tagged with: , ,

Osama’s Death – India Slams Pakistan as Terrorist Sanctuary

 America, Pakistan  3 Responses »
May 022011
 
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Exclusive: My Tryst with 72-Virgins by Osama bin Laden

Following reports of Al Qaeda leader and 9/11 mastermind Osama bin Laden’s death inside a large compound in the Pakistan town of Abbottabad, India attacked Pakistan as a terrist sanctuary.

Why not.

After all, the terrorists involved in the murderous attack in Mumbai a few years back are still being protected by the Jihadi regime of Pakistan.

Here’s the full statement of India’s Home Minister P.Chidambaram:

Earlier today the United States Government informed the Government of India that Osama Bin Laden had been killed by security forces somewhere “deep inside Pakistan.” After the September 11, 2001 terror attack, the US had reason to seek Osama Bin Laden and bring him and his accomplices to justice.

We take note with grave concern that part of the statement in which President Obama said that the fire fight in which Osama Bin Laden was killed took place in Abbotabad “deep inside Pakistan”. This fact underlines our concern that terrorists belonging to different organisations find sanctuary in Pakistan. We believe that the perpetrators of the Mumbai terror attack, including the controllers and handlers of the terrorists who actually carried out the attack, continue to be sheltered in Pakistan. We once again call upon the Government of Pakistan to arrest the persons whose names have been handed over to the Interior Minister of Pakistan as well as provide voice samples of certain persons who are suspected to be among the controllers and handlers of the terrorists.

Related Stories:
Osama bin Laden Enjoying with 72 Virgins in Heaven; Barack Obama Wins Second Term

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 Posted by at 10:08 am  Tagged with:

Osama’s Death – Obama Addresses the Nation

 America, Terrorism  No Responses »
May 022011
 
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Exclusive: My Tryst with 72-Virgins by Osama bin Laden

Shortly after 9/11 mastermind and Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden’s death at the hands of CIA and American Navy Seals in Pakistan, U.S. President Barack Obama addressed the nation from the East Room:

Obama Addresses the Nation
Here is President Obama’s complete address to the Nation announcing the death of Osama bin Laden:

11:35 P.M. EDT, May 1, 2011

THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al Qaeda, and a terrorist who’s responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children. Continue reading »

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 Posted by at 1:19 am  Tagged with: ,

Osama bin Laden Enjoying with 72 Virgins in Heaven; Barack Obama Wins Second Term

 America  21 Responses »
May 022011
 
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Exclusive: My Tryst with 72-Virgins by Osama bin Laden

It took nearly a decade.

But finally justice was done to avenge the brutal attacks on 9/11/2001 that killed nearly 3,000 Americans (under former President George W.Bush’s watch).

Osama bin Laden Dead
Folks, we’re happy to report to y’all that Islamic terrorist, leader of Al Qaeda and mastermind of the 9/11 attacks Osama bin Laden is now having a jolly good time with 72 virgins in Heaven after meeting his death at the hands of U.S. soldiers in Pakistan. ;)

Just in case you didn’t know, many Muslims believe that violent attacks on innocents, engaging in suicide bombings and other maniacal acts earn them a place in heaven and a rollicking time with 72 virgins.

Today Osama bin Laden won that grand 72-Virgins lottery. ;)

Osama bin Laden was 54-years-old when he embarked on his 72-Virgins Mission a few hours ago.

In an address to the nation, U.S. President Barack Obama said:

[O]n nights like this one, we can say to those families who have lost loved ones to al Qaeda’s terror: Justice has been done.

But it’s a mighty shame that with all our resources it took nearly 10-years to kill Osama.

Osama Killed in Pakistan Heartland
By the way, as long suspected Osama bin Laden was hiding in that terrorist haven Pakistan.

But what was surprising was that Osama was not hiding in the border area between Afghanistan and Pakistan but in the heart of Pakistan.

Osama bin Laden was cornered in the town of Abbottabad, just 32-miles north of the Pakistani capital Islamabad and a few miles from the Indian border state of Jammu & Kashmir.

We wouldn’t be surprised in the least to learn in the coming days that Osama was being sheltered by Pakistan’s intelligence agency ISI or the country’s Army.

It is high time the U.S. stops giving any aid to the harborers of terrorists aka Pakistan.

$25m Reward – Who Ratted Out Osama?
The big question now is who got the $25 million reward that the U.S. State Department had offered for Osama bin Laden’s head.

It’s highly likely that Osama bin Laden was ratted out by one of his accomplices in crime.

Whoever informed the Americans about Osama’s hideout in Abbottabad must have received safe passage to the U.S. besides the $25 million award.

Related Stories:
My Tryst with 72-Virgins by Osama bin Laden

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 Posted by at 1:18 am  Tagged with: , , ,
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