Aug 132012

Tiger? Ha ha ha

In less than 36-hours, Salman ‘Murderer‘ Khan’s Ek Tha Tiger will debut on movie screens worldwide.

Unless there’s a meteor strike on Planet Earth, Ek Tha Tiger will rewrite the box office books in India.

It doesn’t matter one whit whether the movie is a work of art or a numbing piece of trash.

Because the Box Office Gods are smiling on this Bollywood scumbag. :(

The hype machine is in full throttle.

Plus, Indian moviegoers have a well-established reputation for seldom straying from trash.

Ek Tha Tiger?

So what’s Ek Tha Tiger all about?

Best as we can understand Salman Khan plays an Indian secret service RAW agent Tiger sent to London on some kind of observation mission.

RAW suspects an Indian scientist is traitorously hobnobbing with the Pakistani intelligence agency ISI.

Once in London, all hell breaks loose.

Of course, with Tiger on the prowl, what else do ya expect. 😉

There’s a romantic angle featuring that awful British import Katrina Kaif.

The rest, we suppose, is bang-bang-chase-comedy-fight-run-comedy-sing-dance-fight stuff.

Yash Raj Films is the producer and Kabir Khan the director of Ek Tha Tiger (Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Girish Karnad, Ranvir Shorey).

Laapata – My Favorite

The Indian audience has already voted for Mashallah via their clicks on YouTube.

Mashallah has garnered nearly 4.9 million views on the YouTube video channel.

But the song has not appealed to me as much as Laapata with its European flavor.

Mashallah – 4.9m Views

The dancing is awful, Katrina Kaif looks obscenely slutty in the worst possible dance and Salman looks haggard.

But the song is alright.

Sad, that the picturization doesn’t do justice to the song.

And, and, and then the song has “allah” in the lyrics.

That should give Muslims in South Asia and elsewhere an immediate adrenaline boost.

Katrina – Classless, Obscenity Defined

I have watched this Katrina Kaif thingie in several Hindi movies and countless video snippets including the above.

Seldom do I find even in Bollywood one so crude and utterly graceless and classless in movie after movie as this hopeless creature Katrina.

Hell, she makes even Priyanka Chopra seem the epitome of grace!

How this abomination Katrina manages to stay atop the Bollywood ladder boggles the mind.

Well, in Mera Bharat Mahaan anything can happen.

Even Chuhas can turn tigers. 😉

  14 Responses to “Ek Tha Khooni – Whaddaya Think?”

  1. Are you planning to review this, your favorite bollywood Khan’s movie?

    By the way Aamir Khan and future Oscar winner, Abhishek Bachchan, are shooting in Downtown Chicago are for Dhoom 3. Some of my colleagues/friends bunked office to gatecrash their shooting for Autographs and photos.

    They filmed some sequences on Saturday in the LaSalle street where The Joker is captured by Gordon and Batman in The Dark Knight… and not to forget the Lower Wacker drive which also features prominantly in the Batman movies. Responds:

    1. Yes, will have a review.

    2. To see Aamir & Abhishek, people bunked office?

    Well, as the wise SI once said, You can take the Indian out of India but not the India out of the Indian.

    • You bet!

      Even a hard core SRK fan who hates Aamir Khan to the core was thinking about paying a visit!

      I am not sure if he finally went or not.

  2. I sincerely wish sallu to get his biggest FLOP thru this movie, cmon sallu u can do it…. Responds:

    From your lips to Allah’s ears. 😉

    That’d make a nice Id gift to Humanity from an inhuman population control expert who wears T-Shirts proclaiming “Being Human.” Only in Mera Bharat Mahaan!

  3. What do u guys think bout the race to presidential election… M/Pitt Romney (5 wives) vs Barack Obama ? Responds:

    The U.S. Presidential election outcome is still up in the air.

    I’m terribly disappointed in Obama but I’ve got to tell you that Mitt Romney/Paul Ryan make Obama seem like an Angel.

    Obama could lose if a lot of his erstwhile disappointed supporters like me don’t go to the polling booth on Election Day, Nov. 6.

    Plus, the PACs promoted/funded by Karl Rove, the Koch Brothers etc are pumping hundreds of millions on the air-waves to defeat Obama by distorting his record.

    Obama is an idiot in some respects, but a well-meaning idiot generally. Mitt Romney/Ryan are animals and stooges of corporate interests.

    Bottom line, as the talking heads on TV are wont to say, the race is too close to call.

    If I were Obama’s campaign chief, I’d do my best to somehow get the disenchanted Obama supporters into the voting booth on November 6.

    As the wise SI told a Gujju friend the other day, you can never underestimate the stupidity of the average American voter (a lot of them vote for Republicans in a blow to their self-interests).

    BTW, Mormons can’t have > 1 wife now. Best as I know, Mitt has only 1 wife.

    • Sorry for the interruption.

      I am calling the election right away. Obama will win.

      If my prediction fails then reviews for the next Ajith, Vijay and Abhishek Bachchan movies are on me! :-) Responds:

      I thought you were a teetotaler! 😉

      • Romney is a clown.

        He personifies (and his name rhymes with) the word Phony.

        Worse, he cannot even hide it.

        He is going down baby!

        I am a teetotaler except for Sparkling white wines, Champaign, White Zinfandel, Reisling, Blue Moon, the occasional Mojito and the rare cocktail. Responds:

        Well, if he’s a clown then he’s a rich clown.

        And elections are fought and won based on how many Expensive false ads a ‘clown’ can run on TV against his rival.

        Personally, I think Mitt Romney is not a clown but a slimy scumbag.

        Ryan is worse, infinitely worse.

        In Romney’s favor, he, at least, has the MA healthcare law that he championed and got passed.

        That Ryan whacko has nothing in its favor.

  4. Reviews seems to be mixed but opening of the movie is just mind blowing.

    It seems Salman movies don’t depend upon reviews, his fans just want to see him on screen.

    All opening records in India will be shattered for sure and that too by a distance. Responds:

    More proof that God does not exist.

  5. Bloody Hell, Bad News, Positive reviews from Critics and good opening…….for Ek Tha Idiot Responds:

    God loves Darpoks, Khoonis and Chutiyas.

    Our Review will be up later this evening.

  6. So how is ek tha chutia ?? :-P;-) Responds:

    I have no idea since I am not watching Ek Tha Chutia, Ek Tha Darpok, Ek Tha Khooni, Ek Tha Gaandu, Ek Tha Chuha…... 😉

  7. Ek tha gaandu hahahaha rofl 😉

    But you said your review will be up right ?? Responds:

    Sweetie, Our review does not mean My review. 😉

    I’ve requested one of the SI readers in the U.S. to do it.

  8. Oh I confused it with the old SI issshtyle 😉 Responds:

    Our reviewer just called from the theatre….he liked the movie a lot…thinks it’ll be a big hit. :(

    Review coming in a couple of hours.

  9. Had you planned before itself to give this movie a miss ?? 😉 Responds:

    I’m not keeping well.

    A dissipated, dissolute, dipsomaniacal lifestyle takes its toll. :(

  10. Take care SI

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