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Aug 162008

If you are in Mumbai and looking for some dealers in stolen property, the folks to contact are two kameena (scoundrels) Amitabh Bachchan and Salman Khan.

Both these thieves seem to have made a habit of profiting from others’ intellectual property (Examples: Partner (Hitch), Ek Ajanabee (Man on Fire), Hum Kisi Se Kum Nahin (Analyze This).

Since these two blackguards Amitabh and Salman are not kids and have unfortunately been around for donkey’s years in Bollywood, they can’t use the old, criminals excuse that they didn’t know it.

Outright Theft

God Tussi Great Ho is the latest example of these two Bollywood stars involving themselves with stolen property.

Say what you will but God Tussi Great Ho is a pathetic copy of the Jim Carrey comedy Bruce Almighty (2003).

Bruce Almighty was a fairly decent comedy thanks to Jim Carrey’s superb performance.

The best that can be said of God Tussi Great Ho is that it reminded us of photos of advanced syphilis we once saw in a book at one of the British Council libraries in India.

God Tussi Great Ho is that bad.

God Tussi Great Ho

Although these two dinosaurs Salman Khan and Amitabh Bachchan have been around in Bollywood for a gazillion years, yet their performance in God Tussi Great Ho is not even a millionth as good as that of Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty.

Like Bruce Almighty, God Tussi Great Ho is the story of an young man Arun Prajapathi a.k.a AP (Salman Khan) who constantly rails against God for his bad luck prompting God (Amitabh Bachchan) to hand over his responsibilities to AP for 10 days.

Watching Salman Khan in God Tussi Great Ho is punishment for sins committed in the last seven lives. This fella is that bad, particularly in the early scenes when standing on the window ledge of a high building he yells at God in the ugliest possible manner. Like a lunatic.

Jim Carrey is a class actor. Salman Khan a crass actor at best. Continue reading »

Aug 162008

Although we have never published posts by outsiders on this blog in the past, we are making an exception in this instance. The below post is a great response to a comment on our review of U Me Aur Hum. The author Araj, a reader of the blog, is responding belatedly to a comment from tsk_tsk  on July 7th, 2008 at 1:50 am to our review of U Me Aur Hum. The reason for publishing Araj’s comment as a separate post is to give it greater exposure as otherwise this fine piece would get buried as a comment on a movie released four months back (April 2008).

Here is Araj’s comment on tsk_tsk‘s comment to the U Me Aur Hum Review:

1) Your statements are contradictory. On one hand, you say Hollywood lacks originality ‘coz its movies are ‘copies of books’ and on the other you condone Indian plagiarism since it adds to the ‘beauty of the originals’ which, according to you, are highly unoriginal in the first place since they are mere copies of ‘original’ books. Therefore, do you mean to say ‘copy of a copy’ is better than ‘just a copy’?

2) My dear, a film that is based on a book is called an ‘adaptation’ for christ’s sake, not a ‘copy’( if you do not know what is an adaptation and the kinds of adaptations, read You will get an idea.). An adaptation is an age-old tradition of art of movie-making as it helps a film-maker to explore the facets of life that otherwise lie outside his experiential jurisdiction hence inaccessible. Adaptation is a technique that enables the filmmaker to draw from the collective perspicacity of the authors whose works he can convert into screenplays. Because, from a deepest creative viewpoint, making movies is an impossibly unsustainable task i.e. one cannot keep on making great movies drawing from one’s own experiential pool alone however abundantly imaginative one’s mind is. Literature, therefore, frees the mind of a film-maker from Continue reading »

Aug 152008

Bachna Ae Haseeno – Box Office Disaster

Hot News, Hot News.

Yash Raj Films won the Bollywood Crap Producer Award on August 15 for faithfully churning out yet another crappy and unimaginative movie.

From the folks who brought you unalloyed garbage like Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic, Tashaan, Aaja Nachle and Laaga Chunari Mein Daag, comes a new piece of stinking trash called Bachna Ae Haseeno.

Two hours and 30 minutes of sheer torture is the heavy price you pay for the sin of daring to watch this mediocre film.

In Bachna Ae Haseeno, Yash Raj set out to create Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge lite but ended up with Bhooth Aur Mein major.

Featuring newcomers (OK, relative newcomers) Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone and those two non-actresses Minissha Lamba and Bipasha Basu, Bachna Ae Haseeno is Yash Raj Films’ desperate attempt to salvage its diminished fortunes and regain its fallen glory.

Bachna Ae Haseeno does not have a story, but au contraire instead offers a boring crass (no typo) course in all you wanted to know about wooing and dumping Indian girls but didn’t know where to ask.

Two of the ugliest (figuratively) Indian actresses Minissha Lamba and Continue reading »

Aug 122008

Singh is Kinng Collapses in U.S.; Down 70%

Despite all the hype and hoopla about this Akshay Kumar fella becoming the next superstar and dethroning Shahrukh Khan from his high perch, Singh is Kinng has not done that well at the U.S. box office compared to Om Shanti Om (Shahrukh Khan) and Jodhaa Akbar (Hrithik Roshan).

Clearly, Shahrukh Khan and Hrithik Roshan have proved that they are bigger box office draws than this bachcha Akshay Kumar.

Truth be said Singh is King is an infinitely worse movie than Om Shanti Om and Jodhaa Akbar. So we are not surprised at all that the box office reflects the poor quality of this pathetic movie.

Singh is Kinng came in at No-15 with a weekend gross of $950,000.

The crappy Singh is Kinng, which released in 109 theatres, had an average gross of $8,715.Â

Here’s how Singh is Kinng fared at the U.S. box office compared to other prominent Bollywood movies:

Singh is Kinng Box Office Report

Hey, Singh is Kinng’s average gross in the first weekend was lower than Continue reading »

Aug 082008

Movie critics have ripped apart Bollywood superstar wannabe Akshay Kumar’s latest trashy movie Singh is Kinng.

A disgrace of a movie, Singh is Kinng has the odious distinction of not having a single reedeming element in the entire 2hrs 10min of its screen time.

Here’s what some of the movie critics have to say about this ugly piece of crap a.k.a. Singh is Kinng:

Shilpa Jamkhandikar, Reuters India: 

“Singh is Kinng”, which stars Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif, epitomises the much used phrase for most Bollywood films – leave your brains behind. The director, writers and the actors in this film certainly did.

Meetu, Withoutgivingthemovieaway:

The opening disclaimers included lines to the effect that, “The hen in the hen chase scene is digitally crafted, no cruelty has been imposed on animals for the shoot of that scene.” Uhh…what about the cruelty inflicted upon us the humans who watched this tripe in the name of ‘mass entertainment’?

Never in the annals of human depravity has so much agony been inflicted on so many (500 million Bollywood fans) by so few (Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Anees Bazmee et al).

Like Attila the Hun, the mad doctor of Auschwitz Josef Mengele and Ivan the Terrible, Akshay Kumar and his fellow bozos in Singh is Kinng have unleashed a horror show that has few parallels except with the awfully sordid.

By no stretch of imagination, can Akshay Kumar’s Singh is Kinng be even considered a movie.

Au contraire, it’s a nightmare of horrific proportions.

Rajeev Masand, CNN-IBN:

Singh Is Kinng is a film that has little or no regard for its audience. Continue reading »

Aug 082008

Singh is Kinng Box Office – Not So Great

Never in the annals of human depravity has so much agony been inflicted on so many (500 million Bollywood fans) by so few (Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Anees Bazmee et al).

Like Attila the Hun, the mad doctor of Auschwitz Josef Mengele and Ivan the Terrible, Akshay Kumar and his fellow bozos in Singh is Kinng have unleashed a horror show that has few parallels except with the awfully sordid.

By no stretch of imagination, can Akshay Kumar’s Singh is Kinng be even considered a movie.

Au contraire, it’s a nightmare of horrific proportions.

A perilous journey into the arctic gulag that’s fraught with relentless assaults on the eyeballs and eardrums every second.

Here’s a brief preview of the kind of total garbage you can expect from this piece of trash Singh is Kinng:

1. What happens when a paralytic guy is pushed down the staircase? He gets cured and stands up.
2. Scatalogical crap like one fellow (Akshay Kumar) pissing on another man’s face (Akshay Kumar just loves this kind of crap because even in his previous film Heyy Babyy – an ugly copy of Three Men and a Baby – we literally had shit flying about).
3. Infantile humor like a man (Akshay Kumar again) running his crotch into a table fan.
4. The Australian police give the two yokels Akshay Kumar and Om Puri a ride on their boat to a dreaded gangster’s mansion.

Such is the unendurable garbage that Akshay Kumar and his cronies unleash in a short span of 2 hours and 10 minutes in Singh is Kinng.


Singh is Kinng’s story-line is as sophomoric as it can possibly get, Continue reading »