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Aug 182008

 Bachna Ae Haseeno Plunges 61% at Box Office

Yash Raj Films’ latest crap-show Bachna Ae Haseeno has fared badly at the U.S. box office with one of the lowest average gross per theatre for a recent Bollywood movie.

The much hyped movie featuring Ranbir Kapoor, Deepika Padukone, Bipasha Basu and Minissha Lamba brought in a piffling $322,431 in its opening weekend (August 15-17, 2008).

Even Bhoothnath did better than Bachna Ae Haseeno in its opening weekend ($330,246 for Bhoothnath  vs $322,431 for Bachna Ae Haseeno).

Bachna Ae Haseeno came in at No-23 in the U.S. box office ranking for the August 15-17 opening weekend.

This junk movie opened in 71 theatres and had an average gross of $4,541.

Here’s how Bachna Ae Haseeno fared in the U.S. as compared to some other prominent Bollywood movies in the opening weekend:

Bachna Ae Haseeno’s average per theatre of $4,541 is worse than Continue reading »

Aug 172008

One of the worst movies to come out of Bollywood’s sewers lately, God Tussi Great Ho (an outright theft of the Hollywood hit Bruce Almighty) has been right royally screwed by a gaggle of critics.

The Economic Times:

Director Rumy Jafry’s directorial debut pretends to say something deep and indelible, but ends up being as profound as a bowl of soggy noodles staring at you for edible nirvana….

Who wrote this garbage? You wonder.

IBN Live:

Even if you’re willing to overlook the film’s tacky production values and dismal music score, what’s completely unforgivable is the tasteless humour.

Deccan Herald:

Compared to the famous Jim Carrey-starrer Bruce Almighty, God Tussi Great Ho comes across as an over-the-top, kitschy, sorry-rip of the original. Continue reading »

Aug 162008

If you are in Mumbai and looking for some dealers in stolen property, the folks to contact are two kameena (scoundrels) Amitabh Bachchan and Salman Khan.

Both these thieves seem to have made a habit of profiting from others’ intellectual property (Examples: Partner (Hitch), Ek Ajanabee (Man on Fire), Hum Kisi Se Kum Nahin (Analyze This).

Since these two blackguards Amitabh and Salman are not kids and have unfortunately been around for donkey’s years in Bollywood, they can’t use the old, criminals excuse that they didn’t know it.

Outright Theft

God Tussi Great Ho is the latest example of these two Bollywood stars involving themselves with stolen property.

Say what you will but God Tussi Great Ho is a pathetic copy of the Jim Carrey comedy Bruce Almighty (2003).

Bruce Almighty was a fairly decent comedy thanks to Jim Carrey’s superb performance.

The best that can be said of God Tussi Great Ho is that it reminded us of photos of advanced syphilis we once saw in a book at one of the British Council libraries in India.

God Tussi Great Ho is that bad.

God Tussi Great Ho

Although these two dinosaurs Salman Khan and Amitabh Bachchan have been around in Bollywood for a gazillion years, yet their performance in God Tussi Great Ho is not even a millionth as good as that of Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty.

Like Bruce Almighty, God Tussi Great Ho is the story of an young man Arun Prajapathi a.k.a AP (Salman Khan) who constantly rails against God for his bad luck prompting God (Amitabh Bachchan) to hand over his responsibilities to AP for 10 days.

Watching Salman Khan in God Tussi Great Ho is punishment for sins committed in the last seven lives. This fella is that bad, particularly in the early scenes when standing on the window ledge of a high building he yells at God in the ugliest possible manner. Like a lunatic.

Jim Carrey is a class actor. Salman Khan a crass actor at best. Continue reading »

Aug 162008

Although we have never published posts by outsiders on this blog in the past, we are making an exception in this instance. The below post is a great response to a comment on our review of U Me Aur Hum. The author Araj, a reader of the blog, is responding belatedly to a comment from tsk_tsk  on July 7th, 2008 at 1:50 am to our review of U Me Aur Hum. The reason for publishing Araj’s comment as a separate post is to give it greater exposure as otherwise this fine piece would get buried as a comment on a movie released four months back (April 2008).

Here is Araj’s comment on tsk_tsk‘s comment to the U Me Aur Hum Review:

1) Your statements are contradictory. On one hand, you say Hollywood lacks originality ‘coz its movies are ‘copies of books’ and on the other you condone Indian plagiarism since it adds to the ‘beauty of the originals’ which, according to you, are highly unoriginal in the first place since they are mere copies of ‘original’ books. Therefore, do you mean to say ‘copy of a copy’ is better than ‘just a copy’?

2) My dear, a film that is based on a book is called an ‘adaptation’ for christ’s sake, not a ‘copy’( if you do not know what is an adaptation and the kinds of adaptations, read You will get an idea.). An adaptation is an age-old tradition of art of movie-making as it helps a film-maker to explore the facets of life that otherwise lie outside his experiential jurisdiction hence inaccessible. Adaptation is a technique that enables the filmmaker to draw from the collective perspicacity of the authors whose works he can convert into screenplays. Because, from a deepest creative viewpoint, making movies is an impossibly unsustainable task i.e. one cannot keep on making great movies drawing from one’s own experiential pool alone however abundantly imaginative one’s mind is. Literature, therefore, frees the mind of a film-maker from Continue reading »

Aug 152008

Bachna Ae Haseeno – Box Office Disaster

Hot News, Hot News.

Yash Raj Films won the Bollywood Crap Producer Award on August 15 for faithfully churning out yet another crappy and unimaginative movie.

From the folks who brought you unalloyed garbage like Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic, Tashaan, Aaja Nachle and Laaga Chunari Mein Daag, comes a new piece of stinking trash called Bachna Ae Haseeno.

Two hours and 30 minutes of sheer torture is the heavy price you pay for the sin of daring to watch this mediocre film.

In Bachna Ae Haseeno, Yash Raj set out to create Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge lite but ended up with Bhooth Aur Mein major.

Featuring newcomers (OK, relative newcomers) Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone and those two non-actresses Minissha Lamba and Bipasha Basu, Bachna Ae Haseeno is Yash Raj Films’ desperate attempt to salvage its diminished fortunes and regain its fallen glory.

Bachna Ae Haseeno does not have a story, but au contraire instead offers a boring crass (no typo) course in all you wanted to know about wooing and dumping Indian girls but didn’t know where to ask.

Two of the ugliest (figuratively) Indian actresses Minissha Lamba and Continue reading »

Aug 122008

Singh is Kinng Collapses in U.S.; Down 70%

Despite all the hype and hoopla about this Akshay Kumar fella becoming the next superstar and dethroning Shahrukh Khan from his high perch, Singh is Kinng has not done that well at the U.S. box office compared to Om Shanti Om (Shahrukh Khan) and Jodhaa Akbar (Hrithik Roshan).

Clearly, Shahrukh Khan and Hrithik Roshan have proved that they are bigger box office draws than this bachcha Akshay Kumar.

Truth be said Singh is King is an infinitely worse movie than Om Shanti Om and Jodhaa Akbar. So we are not surprised at all that the box office reflects the poor quality of this pathetic movie.

Singh is Kinng came in at No-15 with a weekend gross of $950,000.

The crappy Singh is Kinng, which released in 109 theatres, had an average gross of $8,715.Â

Here’s how Singh is Kinng fared at the U.S. box office compared to other prominent Bollywood movies:

Singh is Kinng Box Office Report

Hey, Singh is Kinng’s average gross in the first weekend was lower than Continue reading »