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The UK box office numbers for the Diwali Tamil release are out.
And Vijay’s trash Velayudham has edged out Surya’s garbage 7Aum Arivu.
That both junk grossed over £100,000 is ample evidence that Tamils are stupid f*cks whether they live in Tamil Nadu or UK.
Related Stories:
7Aum Arivu Review – Silly, Lifeless Bore
Velayudham Review – Mindless Mayhem
7Aum Arivu is a silly bore that bizarrely seeks to meld fictional Tamil history, fictional Tamil pride and fictional biological warfare for the sole purpose of bamboozling Tamil movie fans into parting with their real money.
The movie builds on the myth of a historical martial arts fighter and medicine man called Bodhidharma (Surya), who’s said to have traveled from his home town Kanchipuram to China some 1,600 years back and helped villagers there.
It takes about 23 minutes of screen time for Bodhidharma to traverse thick forests, sandy deserts and snowy mountains to reach the Chinese village of Nangyang, cure their sick children and adults from a deadly virus, save the villagers from marauding horsemen, teach them martial arts and ultimately die of poisoning so that the locals may live happily ever.
Anon, we’re back in present day Chennai to endure the tiresome trifecta of a romance between circus artiste Arvind (Surya) and genetics engineering researcher Subha (Shruti Hassan), a malevolent Chinese effort to launch biological warfare on India via street dogs and the genetics researcher’s efforts to revive hereditary talent through DNA (i.e. bring back Bodhidharma’s legendary prowess into the circus artist who belongs to the same lineage).
* The romance is insipid thanks to the poor script, Shruti Hassan’s abominable performance and absence of any chemistry between the lead pair Surya and Shruti.
* The ‘Operation Red’ Chinese effort to launch a biological attack and their intelligence agent/villain Dong Lee’s hypnotism nonsense are unconvincing and border on the comical. Vietnamese actor Johnny Tri Nguyen plays the villain Dong Lee with all the elan of a clown who had one drink too many.
With his head tilted to one side, eyes staring stupidly and walking like an emaciated Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dong Lee lacks the panache of a scary villain but packs the promise of a good Mongoloid Vadivelu.
* The genetic research aspect is absolute hogwash with not one ounce of credibility in it. Particularly, toward the end it descends into the farcical as Subha and her menagerie revive Bodhidharma’s extraordinary talents into the circus artiste Arvind in 12-days.
By the way, the action scenes including the final clash between Arvind (Surya) and Dong Lee were a big let-down. Hopelessly ordinary.
Even by the crappy Tamil movie standards, they were disappointing.
We were not bowled over by Surya’s performance but found him mostly adequate by Tamil movie standards.
At least, Surya brought some passion to his performance and didn’t pee all over himself a la Vikram in that stolen trash Deiva Thirumagal.
However, Surya proved disappointing in the crucial Yamma Yamma song.
What a shame, his dejection and anger after being jilted/duped by Subha failed to come through effectively.
Say what you will, we refuse to believe Shruti Hassan is really Kamal Haasan’s daughter.
There must have been a mix-up at the hospital. Continue reading »
Folks, it’s 8.15PMET.
We’re sitting in a hall on the East Coast blogging on our iPad 2.
Waiting for the Surya-Shruti Hassan starter 7Aum Arivu to start.
Good crowd in the hall.
About 150-175 people in the hall.
Not bad, not bad at all considering tomorrow is a working day in the U.S.
Let’s hope 7Aum Arivu is a decent movie and a Diwali treat to Kollywood fans.
Watch Suriya and Jyothika in the Uyirin Uyire song from the Tamil film Kaakha Kaakha (2003).
Sure, the song/picturization is no masterpiece but there’s some life in the song and the scene.
Now, watch the two Bollywood stars John Abraham and Genelia make monkeys of themselves (below) in the ‘same’ song Khwabon Khwabon in Force (the Bollywood remake of Kaakha Kaakha), which is releasing on Friday.
John Abraham and Genelia look like clowns, escapees from a circus.
Hey, is there a Reservation quota for Christians and Parsis in Bollywood?
Suriya and Jyothika are way better actors and dancers than the John Abraham and Genelia combo, at least as far as the above songs are concerned.
Compared to Jyothika, we must say that Genelia in the Hindi remake has ZERO sex appeal!
No question, the choreographer of Force must be hung, drawn and quartered! 
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Folks, we haven’t stopped laughing.
Blow the Conches, Fire the Guns, Hire the Hookers
Oh yeah, hire the hookers.
Big fleshy thighs. A triangular belly-button. And a welcoming 36C bosom!
Promise them a fat tip. Tell them it’s a festival today.
Sori-Padam Surya’s Asingam oops Singam has done worse than Sura, one of the worst movies in recent memory, at the UK box office.
Well, who’s surprised. The schmucks, who else.
Serves this Sori-Padam Surya right.
The moron has been consistently giving us shitty movies and the box-office returns of this bozo’s films have been proportionately bad.
BTW, this buffoon reportedly went on TV to thank fans for making the film a super-shit oops a super-hit.
Ha ha ha.
Wonder what the bozo drinks. Hey Sori-Padam, we’d like some of the same scotch.
Hell, Singam has done much worse than Surya’s previous crap-show Adhavan.
Folks, if we’ve said it once we’ve said a million times – Sori-Padam Surya is going the way of his Jillu Jillu Gullu Gullu old man.
Here’s how Singam has fared at the UK box office compared to a few prominent Tamil movies:
As SearchIndia.com blog wrote in the review of Singam:
If Singam proves anything at all, it’s that its hero Sori-Padam Surya and director Hari retain their unerring eye for Continue reading »
(Bollywood film Singham is a remake of the Tamil Singam)
Oh, no. Singam is not a bad movie. Most definitely not.
Au contraire, it’s a hideously awful movie. Asingam (trashy), to use an apposite Tamil term.
Sick. Crude. Trashy. Ugly.
All of the above appellations fit this depressingly disgusting film to a T.
If Singam proves anything at all, it’s that its hero Sori-Padam Surya and director Hari retain their unerring eye for grotesque perversity.
By God, if we were Sivakumar Senior, we’d forthwith haul our son Surya Sivakumar to the nearest abattoir, bring down the knife on the wayward offspring, fling the carcass along with those of the pigs, goats and Hari (director of Singam) and beg forgiveness from Tamil people around the world for this sordid treachery.
That’d be just penitence for the repeated suffering inflicted by the recidivist Surya on 74 million Tamils over the last few years, a pain that continues unabated with his latest film Singam.
Bad Opening
There were all of 12 people for the opening show of Singam in the U.S. (at Anil Ambani’s Big Cinemas in North Bergen, NJ, just outside midtown Manhattan).
We didn’t see such much enthusiasm for the movie given that some people were walking in and out in the middle of the movie. Guys, you’d do that after paying $11.50 only if the movie is a pathetic piece of shit, which undoubtedly Singam is.
Singam Movie Review Sponsored by Air-Savings.com
With a fig-leaf of a boring story, a miserable cartoon of a villain, loud noise masquerading as music, a hero who thinks yelling is acting and a heroine who alternates between pouting and flashing her thighs and tits, Singam is but the latest instance of a bunch of gibbering monkeys perpetrating big-time fraud in an avaricious effort to rob you of your time and money.
Boring Story
Surya is cast as Dorai Singam, the upright, doughty and much beloved police sub-inspector in a small village in the deep south of Tamil Nadu.
An unpleasant encounter with Mayilvahanam (Prakash Raj), a villain and extortionist from Chennai sets the stage for the ad infinitum clash between the two, which takes up the rest of this nonsense.
When the two main characters Dorai Singam and Mayilvahanam are not yelling at each other, they’re annoying the hell out of the audience with their sophomoric antics.
The de rigueur romance and skin-show angle is provided by the buxom babe Anushka Shetty playing Kavya, a young girl on a visit to the village/small town where Dorai Singam works.
Here’s how the police in Tamil Nadu investigate the complaint of a missing necklace from a young girl Kavya (Anushka):
Nightie eppadi kalatuve – Shirt Madhariya illa Banian Madhariya? (When you remove your nightie, do you do it like a shirt or like a banian?)
To double our agony, Dorai Singam’s sidekick Erimalai (Vivek) repeats this inanity a few minutes later in a futile, juvenile attempt to make us laugh.
Folks, such is the ceaseless drivel in this repellent nonsense. We swear on Jyothika.
What a shame that when foreign filmmakers bring us richly layered movies like The Secret in Their Eyes, In Bruges, Kick Ass, A Prophet et al we’re constrained to seek cover from the Singam kinda dysentery raining down upon us.
Torchbearers of Trash
Surya Sivakumar is, of course, the principal torchbearer of this mindless carnage.
Screaming, lunging and howling like one possessed of the devil, Surya does not entertain as much as asphyxiate. Continue reading »
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