Delhi Palace Jackson Heights Review – God, Please Close this Crappy Place

Dear God, why are so many crappy Indian restaurants like Delhi Palace born in NYC?

Oh God, why do you keep so many crappy Indian restaurants like Delhi Palace in NYC alive?

Yo God, Why the hell don’t you shut down crappy Indian restaurants like Delhi Palace?

Must be the accumulated sins of a lifetime that led us to Delhi Palace on 74th St in Jackson Heights, NYC.

Sure the place has a reputation for bad hygiene and had even been closed down a few months back by the NYC Health Department.

But we were hungry, foraging for Indian food in Jackson Heights and Delhi Palace didn’t seem like all that bad a bet given the irate bellows from our hungry stomach.

How were we to know that our meal at Delhi Palace would turn out to be a repudiation of all taste!

Delhi Palace – Crappy Dump in Jackson Heights, NYC
(File photo)

Delhi Palace – Acme of Garbage

Of course, we’re no strangers to crappy Indian food. Most Indian restaurants in the NY/NJ area are crappy.

But Delhi Palace in Jackson Heights occupies a hallowed place in the ugly pantheon of crappy Indian restaurants in New York City.

If the food was not crappy at Delhi Palace, rest assured that it was lukewarm or deficient in some other way.

Appetizers, entrees or desserts, vegetarian or non-vegetarian, much of the food at Delhi Palace is hopelessly pathetic.

Folks, there is little reason for this crappy NYC Indian restaurant to exist.

The sooner Delhi Palace gives up the ghost, the better for lovers of Indian cuisine.

Unappetizing Appetizers

Dal Vada was lukewarm, only slightly crisp and the dough inside brought forth a raw flavor into our mouth.

Coconut Chutney seemed fresh but, yeeks, the bozos in the kitchen forgot to add chilies.

Mint Chutney was not only tasteless but, to add insult to injury, was also cold. Sambar was watery, low on Tamarind and way too low on Dal.

Chicken Lollipop was a tasteless monstrosity that one human would not offer to another unless he was depraved.

Lousy Entrees

With its poor marination, Delhi Palace’s Tandoori Chicken was unworthy of being flung at mongrels.

Delhi Palace Food

Neither Mutter Paneer nor Channa Saag gave us any pleasure. Both were lukewarm and devoid of any flavor or the taste of freshly-cooked food.

Bhindi do Piaza must certainly be the handiwork of Satan for it was so distressingly bad. The Bhindi was not tender and the masala added to it made no difference.

Fish Moli in a medium-thick gravy packed some flavor but didn’t send us into paroxysms of joy. Chicken Tikka Masala was the usual reddish atrocity you find at most Indian restaurants in the U.S. and had little to commend it.

Naan Bread was brittle like Dosa.

If an Indian restaurant can’t get the simple Naan Bread, the staff ought to be kicked out on the street without any mercy.

Horrid Masala Dosa

Masala Dosa was a flavorless, tasteless abomination.

A Masala Dosa only in the chef’s warped imagination, it was a vile curse hurled at a South Indian diner’s palate.

The dough was not fermented enough and the bland potato filling inside would have been rejected even by the starving Ethiopians, starving Somalis and starving Oriyans in Kalahandi.

As we noted earlier, the Coconut and Mint Chutneys were unpalatable and the Sambar low on Tamarind and missing any sign of Dal.

Mercifully, the Uttapam, although not even lukewarm, was tasty but the bad accompaniments (bad Chutneys and Sambar) robbed us of the joy.

Chicken Biryani was overcooked and the strong succulent aroma of Biryani was lacking.

Delhi Palace Desserts – Mixed Bag

Sooji Halwa was warm but watery, low on sugar, low on ghee, low on taste and, above all, low on a competent chef’s hand in its making.

Ras Malai was hellishly awful. The milk syrup was way too watery, lacked any flavor and the white Ras Malai ball itself had a raw taste.

Rice Pudding was one of the rare delights of an overall unendurable meal. Creamy with almond slices and raisins, it was yummy. A few more raisins would have made it yummier.

Service – Lazy Bozos

Many of the items on the buffet table lacked labels until mid-way through our meal.

Also, some trays were empty and filled in only later (Bhindi, Chicken Lollipop). There were no serving cups for Sambar or serving tong for the Chicken Lollipop and Uttapam.

The bald coot with glasses (manager??) gave us the cold shoulder even after seeing us waiting for the serving tongs but rushed to welcome a White couple. 🙁

Used plates were removed with alacrity (alas, on one occasion, with far too much alacrity) and water glasses filled without any prompting from us.

Delhi Palace – Bottom Line

We felt sick, literally and figuratively, after our horrid meal at this dump.

A queasy feeling in our stomach and sick to the soul, we stumbled out vowing never to return to this wretched dump.

Guys, Delhi Palace is an Indian restaurant perversion that offers mostly inedible food to paying diners and exists merely to part you from your money.

If there’s a God in Heaven, then he’ll pull the plug on Delhi Palace. Soon.

Meanwhile, we’d advise all ye schmucks to give God a big helping hand by shunning this crappy dump aka Delhi Palace.

3 Responses to "Delhi Palace Jackson Heights Review – God, Please Close this Crappy Place"

  1. rama dasa   April 14, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    i read some reviews of a local restaurant (Deleted) and apparently in america it’s not uncommon for ethnic Indians to be treated like this in contrast to the absolute brown nosing Americans like me get from the same exact people. As far as God is concerned,”glorious glenn” beck was recently pulled off the air(tv) for some reason i cant explain why(maybe his ill researched information) so we dont have to put up with his face on cable tv anymore,if that isnt a miracle in itself,i dont know what is.mabe billo-the clown(bill o reily) will be next followed by “sixteen and pregnant”. Responds:

    When you make a reference to other restaurants or businesses or people, you must provide a credible link to back up your claim. We deleted the name of the restaurant in your comment because you did not provide any link, let alone a credible link.

  2. rama dasa   April 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    well,here’s the link:

    p.s after eating there for almost a year myself,i can testify to the claims:,+OH&cid=12059660455862785727&dtab=2&ei=TIuoTZHDL86ztwe-rKneBw&sa=X&oi=local_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBcQqgUwAA

    the link should work,but if it doesn’t, let me know and i will try to fix it Responds:

    Indians being treated badly at Indian restaurants is hardly unusual. Happens all the time!

  3. curiousboy   April 18, 2011 at 6:06 am



    Lesson 1: Naked Wife

    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. 😛

    After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

    “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

    Moral of the story:

    If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

    Lesson 2

    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.” 😀

    Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

    Lesson 3

    A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.” 😛

    Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

    Lesson 4

    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

    A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

    Lesson 5: Power of Charisma

    A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

    Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

    Lesson 6

    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

    Moral of the story:

    1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy

    2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend

    3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut! Responds:

    Nice morals but remember reading the first and second elsewhere. Still worth looking at again.

    But if life teaches us anything, it’s that morals usually are only for the stupid middle class.

    The rich don’t give a f*ck and the poor are too bogged down to give a f*ck.

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