What SI Sees in 2012

We’re so sloshed on wine, beer etc it’s an herculean effort to type even a few words without a lapsus calami (the virtual version) marring the post.

But still we’re determined to put out our predictions for 2012 and here they are:

* India’s highest civilian award Bharat Ratna will be honored when it’s bestowed on Sachin Tendulkar

* Abhishek Bachchan will continue to remain the joker of Bollywood that he’s today!

* Chinese mongrels will make life miserable for Indians

* Rahul Gandhi will retain his status as India’s Clown Prince

* Barack Obama will continue to be an anorchic President, helpless to tackle his Republican foes

* America’s economy will continue to limp along

* Pakistan will return to military dictatorship

* Apple will launch Television sets in 2012

* Sony S Tablet will be a disaster

* Mayawati will stay in the saddle in Uttar Pradesh

* SI will stop watching and reviewing those ghastly Tamil films

* Facebook IPO will dominate news channels in the second quarter

* Tamil film actor Kamal Hassan will make an ass of himself with Vishwaroopam

* No more hit films for Salman Khan (God, please)

* Indians will continue to churn out crappy movies by the hundreds that no one except Indians will watch

* Barack Obama will easily win a second term unless his Kenyan or Indonesian birth certificate surfaces

* Anna Hazare will make no impact on corruption in India because most Indians by nature are beastly, crooked savages

Dear reader, what are your predictions for 2012?

10 Responses to "What SI Sees in 2012"

  1. siddhu085   January 2, 2012 at 12:09 am

    Why?!! Why will you not review Tamil movies?!

    I thoroughly enjoyed you dishing out expletives at the directors and actors.

    Gave me an insight on how bad they are. Do review the good ones (yeah, right!) – if any.

    Happy new year SI.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Thank you, Sweetie! We wish you the same.

  2. mihi_rex   January 2, 2012 at 12:24 am

    This is unacceptable!

    I blame the tamil movie industry for this!! 😉

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Start a relay fast (as they do in Tamil Nadu & other parts of India).

    Of all the weird things that happen in Incredible India, a relay fast must be the weirdest. 😉

  3. Hari Jr   January 3, 2012 at 7:18 am

    Happy new year SI.

    Was out of station so couldn’t wish you earlier.

    Wish you a very happy, successful and a healthy disease-free year!! 🙂

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Thank you, Sweetie! We wish you the same!

  4. Naveen   January 3, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    My predictions: –

    As Obama’s re-election comes closer the US will clamp down on Immigration fraud by Indian IT companies and turn a blind eye to illegal immigrants from Mexico.

    Chennai airport construction will continue endlessly causing nightmares for travellers.

    Karunanidhi will die and his family will engage in bitter and bloody succession feud.

    Vadivelu will apologize to Vijayakanth in a public meeting and start putting mokkai’s again.

    Rahul Dravid retires from tests, Sachin retires from Limited Overs cricket and VVS Laxman is kicked off the team.

    China starts building a dam on their side of Brahmaputra river.

    US resumes aid to Pakistan.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    The flow of Mexicans to Amreeka has already slowed considerably because of fewer opportunities here, particularly because of the collapse of the housing/construction sector.

    The old devil Karunanidhi may outlive us all!

    • niramay   January 4, 2012 at 5:14 am

      Lets hope that the U.S. of A. does not follow Bush and start resuming aid to Pakistan.

      China will not only build a dam on the Brahmaputra, they’ll also do their best to ensure that we don’t get a single drop of water from it…

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      As long as the Paki curs have nukes, we (the U.S.) have no choice but to keep throwing the rabid dogs some bones to keep them distracted.

      The only way out of this aid-blackmail is to steal the nukes from the Paki mongrels.

      Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done.

  5. niramay   January 4, 2012 at 5:09 am

    “No more hit films for Salman Khan” is more of wishful thinking than anything else.

    That ruthless hunter-cum-murderer will still enthrall his fans by showing his biceps.

    Hell, half of his fans will start masturbating in the cinema hall itself! And they’ll finally reach orgasm in the fight scenes.

    But much of the rest of what you said is true. Indians will flock to cinema halls to see the likes of crappy movies such as Bodyguard, Mere Brother ki Dulhan, et al…as you say regularly, chutiyaness is an inherent characteristic of many Indians.

    Abhishek Bachchan too will remain the same lobotomised *** that he is today…even in a movie industry rife with morons and dumbasses he was, is, and will most certainly always remain the worst actor to yet exist.

    But one thing I don’t want to stop happening are those Tamil film reviews…even though I am not Tamil myself, I love reading the reviews of those films!

    Anyways, happy new year, SI…may you see many good films(at least in hollywood, that is)

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Good Health & Prosperity to you too, sweetie!

    If you get a chance & if you love good crime movies, try to watch Korean films.

  6. gandhiji   January 4, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    yo SI, tamiliptv@roku is showing new tamil movies – watching Mayakkam Enna now – OK so far

    yesterday Osthe was aired. (Crappy as expected) The quality is comparable to the Indian Store DVDs.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Added Tamiliptv to our Roku Channel.

    The picture quality was not bad.

    At 4:30PM ET the two movies on the two Minal channels (Minnal Movies and Minnal Cinema) were junk – One showed the serial killer throwing a TV down (Naan Sivanagiren) and the other was some ‘Kadhal will Triumph’ crap.

    There were a few other Channels in Tamil IPTV for Roku but did not check them out.

    Also downloaded Roku App to iPhone to turn phone into Remote!

  7. gandhiji   January 4, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    Yeah, Naan Sivanagiren started after Mayakkam Enna.. I turned it off. The problem with Minnal is we don’t know when they’ll show the “decent” ones. No program guide..

    Android has a highly rated Roku remote too. Haven’t tested it. The one that comes with Roku is pretty decent (has buttons to launch NFLX, Pandora and Crackle in one press), so haven’t tested either one. But good to know that we have other options. I did test the android remote for the Sony SMP-N200 – works alright.

  8. deepa   January 5, 2012 at 2:13 am

    I’m officially upset that you are not watching and reviewing Tamil movies anymore….where do i now get my entertaining materials from?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Not to worry sweetie, we’ll do the occasional Telugu film.

    For sheer torture, you can’t beat Telugu films!

    Most Telugu movies have only three words in them – Champaestanu (I’ll kill you), Premistanu (I love you) & Feelings.

    The hero acts like his tail is on fire and the heroine is in a losing battle with her clothes.

    No kidding!

    Unfortunately, America is facing a Telugu invasion. Every other day, some dumb Telugu guy is opening a Dum Biryani restaurant!

    • deepa   January 5, 2012 at 11:54 pm

      Well, I usually catch tamil movies so i can relate more to the stuff when you write about it. No worries, I’m fine with telegu too….cuz you know, i’m usually sending out your reviews to my other friends who are hooked on your sarcasm!!

      Btw, Happy New Year and wishing you the best for 2012!!! Keep up this great blog and don’t change to being politically correct for others cuz one man’s meat is another man’s poison


      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      Thank you for your New Year wishes. We wish you the same, sweetie!

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