If it’s Friday, it’s time for another tiresome Bollywood movie!
Such has been my miserable kismet for several years now.
And 2 States did not turn out to be markedly different from the usual wretched Bollywood tripe except for a few amusing moments here and there before the de rigueur happy ending.
Based on the third rate hack Chetan Bhagat’s eponymous book, 2 States is a romance wrapped in the cliched conflict between North Indians and South Indians (collectively derided in yesteryears as Madrasis ).
Punjabi lad Krish Malhotra (Arjun Kapoor) and Tamil gal Ananya Swaminathan (Alia Bhatt) are students of the Indian Institute of Management in Ahmedabad when love inexplicably blossoms between the two.
With hormones in overdrive, the twenty-somethings kiss, fuck, argue and say sorry to each other!
But after their graduation from IIM the core of the movie pivots from romance to opposition between parents of Krish and Ananya to their respective offsprings’ romance on cultural and regional grounds.
Now how exciting do you suppose a cultural/regional conflict between parents of two young lovers can be in 2014?
Z E R O!
India is in the ferment of deep change and millennium-old notions of caste, religion, community and regionalism are swiftly falling by the wayside.
Pre-marital sex is fine and dandy but parental opposition over cultural differences is like the Great Wall of China, an insuperable barrier!
To make a movie around tension and confrontations between North Indian parents and South Indian parents in 2014 is to make a mountain out of the proverbial molehill.
Fine as actors like Amrita Singh and Revathy are (they play the Punjabi and Madrasi mothers respectively), I found the entire litany of regional cultural conflict in 2014 utterly unconvincing, hopelessly cliched and distressingly painful to endure for two plus hours.
Although Amrita Singh is eight years older than Revathy, the ravages of age have taken a heavier, uglier toll on the South Indian actress Revathy.
Someone, please introduce Revathy to Botox anon!
Arjun Kapoor – Convincing
Bollywood producer Boney Kapoor’s son Arjun Kapoor, hero of 2 States, is turning out to be an above average actor, infinitely better than the Khans, Bachchans and Kumars.
Although I didn’t find Arjun’s performance as the gangster Bala convincing in Gunday, I liked the lad in Ishaqzaade.
And in 2 States, he delivers a fairly compelling portrayal of a besotted lover in a calm, understated manner.
Alia Bhatt – Pathetic
Alia Bhatt is 100% unconvincing as the Tamil girl Ananya from Mylapore, Chennai.
She doesn’t look, quack or behave like a Tamil. Not even if you put a Saree on her.
Not for a nano-second!
Even the stray Tamil words that drop from her mouth sounded terribly weird (worse than Deepika Padukone’s Tamil in Chennai Express).
I’d have forgiven everything if this creature exhibited even a semblance of grace.
But these old eyes haven’t seen a more graceless, classless thing like Alia in a long time!
Alia Bhatt is turning out to be Bollywood’s female equivalent of Salman Khan – An emetic!
Bottom Line – Not Worth It
Except for some rare comical moments, there’s not much to savor in 2 States.
The less said about the forgettable music the better!
SearchIndia.com does not recommend this drivel.