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Salman Khan Sinking, Sinking, Sinking

Salman Khan – the name that spells box office disaster in Bollywood.

Salman Khan – the name that means bad luck in Bollywood.

Salman Khan – the name that turns away audiences in Bollywood.

Salman Khan – the name that heralds crappy movies in Bollywood.

Salman Khan – the name that comes last among the Khans in Bollywood.

Folks, for the umpteenth time in recent years, a Salman Khan movie has fared miserably at the U.S. box office.

No surprise, eh. After all, it’s a Salman Khan movie.

In what must be a shameful moment to this aging, balding, fading star, U.S. movie-goers have decisively shown the middle finger to Salman Khan’s trashy movie Wanted, a remake of the Tamil/Telugu movie Pokiri.

A hideous nightmare with little to recommend it, Wanted is the third Salman Khan movie to bite the box office dust in recent years.

Yuvvraaj was a disaster, God Tussi Great Ho was a disaster and now Wanted is also unwanted by moviegoers.

How low can Salman Khan’s movies go?

In its opening weekend at the U.S. box office, Wanted grossed a measly $217,432, worse than Salman’s previous disaster Yuvvraaj, a shitty copy of Rainman.

Wanted opened at #33 for the September 18-20, 2009 weekend at the U.S. box office with an average gross of $3,062.

By the way, the Rani Mukerji-Shahid Kapoor film Dil Bole Hadippa did far better (please see below table) than Wanted.

Here’s how Wanted fared at the U.S. box office in the opening weekend compared to some prominent Bollywood films:

 

Related Stories:
Salman Khan’s Wanted Plunges at Box Office in 2nd Wk
Salman Khan’s Wanted Bombs Even at UK Box Office
Wanted Review – Unwanted Trash
Yuvvraaj Review – Shitty Copy of Rain Man
God Tussi Great Ho – Outright Theft & Ugly as Hell

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Recommended by halfMonkHalfHitman and rakeshbaba

We’ve watched few Kannada movies in our life.

As most SI readers know by now, Hindi, Tamil, English and now foreign language films have been the mainstay of our filmi entertaiment.

So, when SI readers repeatedly brought up the Kannada film Mungaru Male, we were intrigued as to what could be unique about this film.

We headed to Wiki and were surprised to learn that Mungaru Male featuring a relatively unknown fella by the name Ganesh was a blockbuster hit with boxoffice earning surpassing Rs 75 crore ($1=Rs 48).

That’s a lot of money for a regional language film, particularly Kannada, which has been overshadowed for decades by Hindi, Tamil and Telugu language films even in Karnataka, the South Indian state where Kannada is widely spoken.

During our travels south (no, not South India, we meant Virginia) recently, we purchased the Mungaru Male DVD.

But after a recent traumatic incident (we watched Wanted, Dil Bole Hadippa and Unnaipol Oruvan over the weekend), we were desperate for a change.

Also, we’re mighty curious as to how a Kannada film could gross Rs 75 crore, making it one of the biggest hits in Indian movies in recent years.

A Love Story, What Else
So we’ve been watching Mungaru Male for the last 20 minutes or so.

This one is a love story.

And director Yograj Bhat wastes no time in getting down to the romantic business because ‘love’ happens literally (no kidding) in the opening scene.

The kid Ganesh is a natural in front of the camera. We found him endearing so far.

But the heroine Sanjana Gandhi is pretty mediocre (btw, pretty is not an adjective for mediocre here…we mean pretty and mediocre).

Mungaru Male also features Anant Nag, Sudha Belwadi, Padmaja Rao and Diganth. Except for Anant Nag (who has made forays into Bollywood), the other names are foreign to us.

The dialogs have zing in them. Kinda tongue-in-cheek and hilarious, most of the time.

We’ve already gone past two songs. Onde Onde Sari and Mungaru Male. a short song.

OMG, Anant Nag (who plays the girl Nandhini’s father) just broke a bombshell. Doesn’t augur well for our Pritam (Ganesh).

We’ll update this post after watching the rest of Mungaru Male.

Update:
The Mungaru Male story is nothing to write home about.

A very mundane, boy sees girl, falls in love instantly, follows girl around, girl ignores him at first, boy is persistent, girl comes around, Mills & Boonish love story.

Some readers have commented on the picturesque setting as a key factor in the movie’s success. Continue reading »

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The only good that’ll possibly come out of this boring flick Dil Bole Hadippa is that the old hag Rani Mukerji will hopefully be put to pasture.

Exterminated, as in get rid of the pest.

Long overdue, we must say.

The woman has overstayed her welcome in Bollywood.

Demonstrating her utter contempt for the paying audience, Rani has delivered one crappy movie after another the last few years: Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic, Laaga Chunari Mein Daag, Ta Ra Rum Pum and now this boring crap-show Dil Bole Hadippa.

Dil Bole Hadippa is from the stable of Yash Raj Films, which has in recent years established an unassailable reputation for churning out unwatchable trash (remember Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic, Laaga Chunari Mein Daag, Ta Ra Rum Pum et al).

Add Dil Bole Hadippa to Yash Raj’s growing mountain of trash.

Featuring Shahid Kapoor, Rani Mukerji, Anupam Kher and titillantes like Rakhi Sawant and Sherlyn Chopra, Dil Bole Hadippa is the story of a cricket-crazy Punjabi girl Veera (Rani Mukerji), who dons a male player’s disguise to play on the men’s team.

Add to this boring fig-leaf of a story, a young NRI cricket player from UK Continue reading »

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Wanted, A Box Office Disaster

A piece of junk.

No less.

Bollywood movie Wanted has none of the charm that made its Tamil ancestor Pokiri a watchable movie for us when it debuted in January 2007.

Pokiri was tolerable for us because of South Indian hero Vijay’s decent efforts, some nice music and our desperation those days for a watchable Tamil movie

Alas, Wanted has nothing going for it even though it shares the same director (Prabhudeva) and villain (Prakash Raj) with Pokiri.

Same Story, Different Results
At 44, Salman Khan looks too old for this kind of young action hero role.

Worse, the aging, balding bachelor seems to put little effort into his performance these days going by the finished product.

Salman can’t dance. His acting is below par. The music in his recent movies is plain awful.

Bottomline, the fella would be doing everyone a favor if he’d only retire and count his paisa.

But the bloke refuses to do that and continues to hound the audience with one trashy movie after another.

Salman’s recent movies God Tussi Great Ho, Yuvvraaj and now Wanted are all bereft of even the most basic artistic elements. Continue reading »

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Enna Avamanam (what a disgrace).

There were just seven people (eight initially, but one guy vanished) for the opening 8:30PM ET show of Unnaipol Oruvan in the U.S. on Thursday at Anil Ambani’s crappy theatre Movie City, Edison.

Of the seven, three didn’t think much of this movie. Yes, all three had seen A Wednesday, the fine Bollywood movie of which Unnaipol Oruvan is a remake.

Enna Kodumai (What Agony)
Compared to A Wednesday (as it inevitably will be), Unnaipol Oruvan is a crude piece of shit with none of the suspense, none of the drama, and most importantly none of the sui generis acting of the Bollywood stalwarts Naseeruddin Shah and Anupam Kher.

Kamal Haasan (in a vain attempt at reprising Naseeruddin Shah’s role) and Mohan Lal (who plays Anupam Kher’s role here, i.e. the Police Commisioner) are podi pasanga (kids) compared to their Hindi counterparts.

Kamal Haasan – Utter Farce
Completely oblivious to our howls of pain, merciless in his cannibalistic orgy of the audience’s flesh, and heedless to our repeated pleas for relief, Kamal Haasan in Unnaipol Oruvan delivers a horribly bad and totally unconvincing performance.

Not remotely credible as the terrorist and comically unconvincing as Unnaipol Oruvan (common man), it’s incredible that this Ulaga Madayan oops Ulaga Nayagan Kamal Haasan is marking 50 years in films. Only in Incredible India.

With his ridiculously phony accent when he slips into English, too much blah blah blah in every call to the police chief, affected gestures and gross overacting, Kamal Haasan just does not allow for the buildup of the suspense and tension the way Naseeruddin Shah did so beautifully in A Wednesday. Continue reading »

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All ye mares in heat, here’s the moment y’all have been avidly waiting for.

Playgirl (if any of you want to ask what ‘that’ is, you ought not to be reading this post) has rolled out Playgirlmobile to peddle adult pay-per-download mobile video clips and live adult video chat.

Aha.

We took out our iPhone and headed over to PlaygirlMobile and here’s some of what we found on the home page (i.e. the page after you state you are over 18):

* Always on Fire

* Delectable Desires

* Hitting the G Spot

* Amorous Sexcapades

Since we have lotsa time on our hands, we clicked on Always on Fire and Continue reading »

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