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Dec 082014

Much as I’m convinced that god does not exist, there’s occasional proof that he does.

Folks, Action Jackson is a mighty disaster at the U.S. box office.

Nothing pleases me more than to see chimps like Ajay Devgn and Prabhu Deva kissing the dust when they put out so trashy a film as Action Jackson.

Here are the opening weekend U.S. box office numbers for Action Jackson:

Action Jackson - A Dud in U.S.

Related Posts:
Action Jackson Review – Infernal Garbage
Sep 092014

Mary Kom has fared poorly in the U.S.

The ho-hum box office returns suggests Priyanka Chopra’s career could be in its last innings.

For the September 5-7, 2014 opening weekend, Mary Kom could manage only $370,277 at the U.S. box office.

That’s pitiful showing for a veteran Bollywood grandma like Priyanka Chopra. Youngsters like Alia Bhatt and Shraddha Kapoor are eating her lunch.

Here’s how Mary Kom fared compared to a few prominent Bollywood movies:

Mary Kom U.S. Opening Weekend Box Office Report

Aug 252014

No one has ever accused Indians (be they in Mera Bharat Mahaan or in Amreeka) of possessing even a semblance of class.

As I’ve said often, the essence of Indians is their Chutiyaness.

Nowhere is the Indian Chutiyaness more evident than in their unbounded love for trashy Bollywood movies.

Trashier the Indian movie the bigger its box office collections.

When that rare good movie like Mardaani hits the screen, Indians collectively raise their middle finger in disapproval.

So I’m not surprised that Mardaani has fared poorly at the U.S. box office.

For the opening August 22-24, 2014 weekend, Mardaani grossed a mere $144,348 from 76 screens.

Here’s how Mardaani fared at the U.S. box office compared to a few prominent Bollywood films:

Mardaani Opening Weekend Box Office Report

Related Mardaani Posts:
Mardaani Review – Miracle! Indian Film No Stinky
Aug 182014

After reading with great anguish those endless reports of how [the pathetic piece of shit] Singham Returns has set the Indian box office on fire, I was quite relieved that the junk has not done all that well in the U.S.

Some consolation, sweetie!

It’d be a travesty of art if garbage like Singham Returns were to do well at the box office.

For the opening August 15-17, 2014 weekend, Singham Returns managed only a little over half a million dollars at the U.S. box office.

That’s a pitiful figure for a two-decades plus star like Ajay Devgan.

Ajay Devgan – Pitiful

Alia Bhatt was not even born when Ajay Devgan started his film career in 1991.

Yet that mouse Alia roars louder than Ajay Devgan with all his 24-pack muscles.

Alia’s 2 States did over a million dollars at the U.S. boxoffice, nearly double that of Singham Returns.

Maybe Ajay should deck himself in Alia’s panties!

Here’s how Singham Returns fared at the U.S. box office compared to a few prominent Bollywood films: Continue reading »

Jul 282014

For all of you who claim Bollywood butcher Salman Khan is a superstar, I have a few questions.

* Why has Kick fared worse than the quiz show genius Alia Bhatt’s 2 States (Alia’s third major film)?

* Why has Kick come in way lower than Aamir Khan’s Dhoom 3 and Shahrukh Khan’s Chennai Express?

* Why has Kick come in significantly lower than Ranveer Singh-Deepika’s Ram Leela?

* Why has Kick grossed less than Tollywood nightmare Allu Arjun’s Race Gurram?

* Why has Kick fared worse than Tollywood non-actor Nagarjuna’s Manam?

If you ask me, Kick has had a mediocre to poor response in the U.S. The below table proves it.

For the opening July 25-27, 2014 weekend, Kick grossed $829,411 at the U.S. box office (source: IndiaFM/Bollywood Hungama).

The per screen average of Kick worked out to $5,882.

Here’s how Kick fared at the U.S. box office compared to some prominent Indian movies:

Kick U.S. Box Office Report

Jul 012014

Kochadaiiyaan - Conspiracy of Silence

So much ink was spilled on big budget Tamil movie Kochadaiiyaan (Rajinikanth, Deepika Padukone) by fawning scribes and reviewers about how the motion-capture film heralded an epochal moment in Indian movie history.

Yet there’s nary a report on how much the Rs 150-crore film lost given its ho-hum response at the box office.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Kochadaiiyaan turns out to be the biggest disaster in Indian movie history.

Conspiracy of Silence

After the endless pre-release hype, a conspiracy of silence clouds Kochadaiiyaan’s losses.

Why this strange silence?

Simple, kiddo – Because so many people now have egg on their faces that they’d rather not be reminded of their inane predictions about the movie!

Even Kochadaiiyaan’s producer Eros International has turned silent on its box office fate after prematurely ejaculating over the “Power of Thalaivar” and boasting that the “film has set a new milestone in the history of Indian cinema.”

Trumpeting a “blockbuster opening weekend” of Rs 42-crore of “an epic dramatization of good versus evil,” Eros claimed to be “seeing an overwhelming demand for a prequel or a sequel.”

After that, only radio silence from Eros.

Ha ha ha ha! ;)

Some Thalaivar. Some Milestone!

Eros and several of the smaller exhibitors must be singing a dirge now.

The big question now is whether Rajinikanth will compensate small-time theatre owners/exhibitors like he did a few years back when Baba sank at the box office.

Kochadaiiyaan debuted in 2D and 3D on May 23, 2014 in six languages on 3,000 screens worldwide.

Rajinikanth – Paper Tiger

Rajinikanth is indisputably a paper tiger whose talent and massive fan following have been wildly exaggerated by Tamil producers and distributors desperate to cash in at a fickle box office.

Most Rajini films I’ve seen are as trashy as any Tamil movie featuring Simbhu, Vombhu, Kombhu, Jeeva, Mava, Kova et al.

A mediocre actor at best, Rajinikanth’s fame owes in significant part to his humble origins. Movie fans love rags-to-riches stories since they ceaselessly fantasize of such improbable events changing their dreary lives.

Folks, given the conspiracy of silence on Kochadaiiyaan’s performance at the box office please vote your estimate of the film’s losses below.

How Big a Flop was Kochadaiiyaan?

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