Indian Restaurant Reviews - NYC, Chicago & NJ

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa – Ugh, Yeeks!

Feb 022012

When our Brown selves want to swim in a sea of White we haul our sorry Brown ass to the specialty grocery store Trader Joe’s.

Other than our face in Trader Joe’s toilet mirrors (there are two), we haven’t seen a colored mug in there during multiple visits.

Apple of Grocery Stores

With 365 stores in the U.S., Trader Joe’s is kinda like the Apple of specialty grocery stores, attracting fierce devotion from fans.

When a new Trader Joe’s store comes up in an area, the fans are delirious for weeks and can’t restrain their aahs and oohs!

No kidding, folks.

When we heard that Trader Joe’s peddles Masala Dosa, Paneer Tikka Masala, Baingan Bharta, Garlic Naan, Malabari Naan and other heat-and-eat Indian Curry packets, we drove 40-miles to the nearest store to check them out and to, of course, ogle at all the White aunties.

The store has so many frozen food items that we missed the Indian stuff during our walk-around. So we enlisted the assistance of an employee who seemed eager to help and led us to the Indian food section.

Indian Food Section at Trader Joe’s

We picked different instant heat-and-eat Indian food packets including the Authentic Indian Masala Dosa from Trader Joe’s. One item that we badly wanted to try but couldn’t find was the Paneer Roll Achari ($2.69).

Although there were some Indian meat items too in Trader Joe’s freezer (Lamb Vindaloo, Butter Chicken and Chicken Tikka Masala), we gave them the pass and focused our attention exclusively on the vegetarian fare.

Call us paranoid if you want but we are wary of eating packaged Indian meat items from freezers. God knows when they are prepared!

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa – Nice Packaging

Hailing as we do from Lungi-Land aka South India, our eyes darted to the Masala Dosas. Yeah, those rice and black gram dal crepes that induce an euphoric orgasm in the Lungi-Land dwellers.

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa comes in an attractive blue color box with pictures of the Dosa and chutney.

Trader Joe’s Authentic Masala Dosa – Noooo, Not Authentic Dosa

Masala Dosa Details:

* Total No of Dosas in Packet: 4
* Masala Dosa Price: $1.99
* Coconut Chutney: Yes
* No Gluten ingredients used
* Vegan

Following the instructions on the box, we removed the Masala Dosas and heated it in the microwave for 30 seconds initially.

Frozen Masala Dosa with Coconut Chutney

After the initial thawing procedure, we heated the Dosa on a griddle (after dabbing a little bit of oil) for about six-minutes.

Trader Joe’s suggests heating the Chutney in the microwave. We, however, did not follow their suggestion.

Instead, we dropped the Coconut Chutney packet in hot water as our Dosas were being heated on the griddle.

By the time we finished heating all the Dosas, the Coconut Chutney was also ready.

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa – After Heating

Disappointing would be too mild a word to describe Trader Joe’s Authentic Indian Masala Dosa.

Here is SI’s take on Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa:

* The Masala Dosas were small and did not have the taste or texture of an authentic Indian Masala Dosa.

* Masala Dosa was too thick to be called a Dosa. It had the texture and thickness of Uttapam and not a Dosa

* Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa was slightly thicker on the edges unlike an authentic Dosa.

* The Potato filling inside the Dosa was not in the least spicy. It was hopelessly bland and we did get not even a single piece of green chilli or any spices.

* The texture of the Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa was coarse as if it were prepared with Idli flour rather than Dosa flour.

* The accompanying Coconut Chutney was a bland creamish color monstrosity. We did not find any evidence of green chilli used in its preparation.

* Serving size of the Coconut Chutney is too small for four Masala Dosas.

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa – A $1.99 Ripoff

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa is a ripoff that robs Brownies aka Indians of the pleasure of eating this South Indian delicacy.

And it dupes Americans into believing that its Dosa is Authentic Indian Dosa. As authentic as our claim of Julia Roberts being our girl-friend.

By the way, Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa box says “Product of India.”

We wonder which Indian charlatan is responsible for this Masala Dosa travesty.

Singapore Vegetarian – Rapture in Philly

Food 4 Responses »

Dec 282011

As we’ve said time and again, if people had even a modicum of sense they wouldn’t stuff their innards with meat.

Only animals gorge on animals.

Alas, bereft as most humans are of the elusive elixir of wisdom, they devour everything that comes their way.

Born as we were into an Indian community that abhorred meat, we took the carnivore road only in our late teens.

Now in the evening of our life wisdom is belatedly dawning on us. We’re starting to eschew meat and contentedly graze on vegetarian items during most outings.

In that meat-free spirit, we visited Singapore Vegetarian restaurant on Race St (at 10th St) in Philadelphia the other day.

Singapore Vegetarian Restaurant Entrance Entrance of Singapore Vegetarian on Race St, Philadelphia

Plus, ever since we had Singapore Noodles at Tangra Masala on Grand Ave in Elmhurst, NY we have been scouting for a place nearby to try it again.

The other day as we were desultorily driving through Chinatown in Philadelphia, our eyes fell on Singapore Vegetarian restaurant on Race Street (between 11th St and 10th St).

We quickly checked the menu on our iPhone 4 and were delighted to see Singapore Noodles listed.

After a 15-minute struggle to find a parking spot nearby, we marched into Singapore Vegetarian.

When we entered the restaurant around 1:30 pm, the place wore a forlorn look.

With her head resolutely down, a young Asian waitress was chopping Broccoli crowns in a corner and the restaurant put out a slightly musty unwelcome odor.

But since when have Indians been put off by a bad smell.

We were also puzzled at the empty tables and wondered if we’d made a mistake.

But being the adventurous sort willing to try anything most things in life, we settled our derriere at a table.

A wise decision, folks.

For much of what we savored at Singapore Vegetarian restaurant turned out to be delicious fare. And a welcome change from the Indian greasy spoons.

As a bonus, the tasty food at Singapore Vegetarian is accompanied by an element rare at most Indian restaurants in Philly/NJ/NYC – Professional and friendly service.

A lot of Indian restaurant staff give the cold shoulder to desi diners but display a shameless eagerness to deep-throat Whites.

But we encountered no such step-motherly treatment at Singapore Vegetarian.

Au contraire, the service couldn’t be better.

Crisp, Hot Beginning

As we plonked ourselves at a table, the young Broccoli chopping waitress filled our water glasses and got us a bowl of Crisp Noodles with Red Chilli Sauce, Mustard and Duck Sauce and a kettle of piping hot black tea.

Singapore Vegetarian Philadelphia Tea Hot Tea at Singapore Vegetarian

True to their name, the Crisp Noodles were crispy in texture and tasty too. Red Chilli sauce and Mustard added a sexy hot allure to the Crisp Noodles.

By the way, for some reason this appetizer reminded us of the South Indian savory Muruku.

Singapore Vegetarian Crisp Noodles with Mustard & Duck Sauce Crisp Noodles with Mustard & Duck Sauce

Lunch Specials

Singapore Vegetarian restaurant offers lunch specials Monday-Saturday for $7.50.

Lunch specials include a choice of soup, Jasmine Rice, steamed Dumpling, crisp Samosa, Veggie Spring Roll and the choice of an entree.

While nibbling on crisp Noodles and sipping hot black tea, we placed our order of Singapore Rice Noodles ($6.95), Vegetable Tempura ($7.50), Vegetarian Delight($7.50) with Tofu for main course and Coconut Milkshake ($3.00) for cold drinks.

For soups, we picked Miso and mock Shark Fin soups.

Our Miso and ‘Shark Fin’ soups came within six minutes followed by Vegetable Tempura, Vegetable Delight with Tofu, Singapore Rice Noodles and Coconut Milk Shake.

Singapore Vegetarian Soups

With a slightly thick texture, the Soy sauce colored ‘Shark Fin’ soup included Tofu and Gluten.

No complaints folks.

The Shark Fin soup was hot (temperature-wise) and quickly dispatched by yours ‘famished’ truly.

Singapore Vegetarian Shark Fin Soup Hot ‘Shark Fin’ Soup with Gluten & Tofu

Miso Soup was a thin watery affair with tofu, lettuce and grated carrot.

It came piping hot to the table and we had no issues with it.

Singapore Vegetarian Miso Soup Hot Miso Soup with Lettuce & Tofu

Singapore Vegetarian Appetizers

Veggie Spring roll with a filling of cabbage was crisp and hot.

Malaysian Crisp Samosa a.k.a Curry Dumpling was also crisp with Potato Curry filling inside. The shape of the Curry Dumpling reminded us of the Kajjikayalu we used to eat back home in India during festivals.

Steamed Dumpling looked similar to Kadubu prepared during Ganesh Festival in South India. The leek stuffing inside the steamed dumplings was tasty and we relished the appetizer thoroughly by repeatedly dipping it in the red chilly sauce.

Vegetable Delight with Tofu

Vegetable Delight with Tofu was a delightful adventure for our taste buds. Continue reading »

Hooray, Indian Restaurants Screwed; 61% of Americans Plan to Cut Back on Eating Out

Food No Responses »

Dec 132011

The hard times a lot of Indian restaurants in the U.S. are currently facing due to the ongoing recession shows no signs of abating.

Six in ten U.S. adults (61%) said they are likely to decrease spending on eating out at restaurants (61%), according to a new poll by Harris Interactive.

Americans Eating Out - Harris Interactive Survey

We think that’s great news since less spending on dining out will surely affect Indian restaurants as well.

Deserve to Die

Most Indian restaurants in the U.S. that we’ve been to serve horrible food accompanied by lousy service and deserve to die.

It’s shameful that a lot of Indian restaurants in the U.S. can’t get even basic items like Samosa, Dal Makhani and Tandoori Chicken right.

The sooner they give up the ghost the better.

And when they die, they will be unmourned.

In more bad news for businesses, over three-quarters of Americans say they are unlikely to buy a new computer (77%) and 58% plan to spend less on entertainment within the next 6 months.

So if you’re planning on buying a laptop or PC, just hold out for a little while more.

There could be better deals on the horizon, say in the new year, 2012.

cheap flights to india

Indian Taj Jackson Heights – Bastard Child

Food, Reviews No Responses »

Dec 132011

Indian restaurants in New York City come in two forms.

A small minority meant for humans and the vast majority aimed squarely at God’s four-legged feline, canine, hircine, asinine, porcine, leonine, vulpine etc creations.

We’ve graced the portals of the Indian Taj branch on Bleecker St in Greenwich Village (in downtown Manhattan).

Since the downtown location serves sexy Indian food we walked into the 74th St Jackson Heights branch of Indian Taj nourishing hopes of a similar titillating meal here too.

Merciless Assault

Alas, the Jackson Heights branch turned out to be the bastard child of the Indian Taj restaurant group that operates multiple restaurants in NYC.

For much of what we tasted at Indian Taj on 74th St in Jackson Heights is definitely not designed for biped, i.e. human consumption.

Indian Taj 74th St Jackson Heights Indian Taj Jackson Heights – Horrid Indian Food

What we encountered at Indian Taj was one brutal, furious, merciless assault after another on our taste buds.

Be it Vegetarian or Chicken items, Indian Taj’s kitchen lobbed one missile after another, lacerating not merely our palate but making sharp gashes into our tender soul at the thought that one Indian could be so perverse, so cruel, so heartless, so maleficent toward another.

Indian Taj – Horrid Fare

Can some sane individual explain to us how Chicken Chilli can be anything but spicy.

You see, the beastly monsters lurking inside Indian Taj’s kitchen decided that Chicken Chilli must be a spice-neutered, emasculated travesty.

Not in the least spicy, the blandness of Chicken Chilli brought tears to our eyes over the absence of any heat from the chillies and spices.

With their effete palates, a lot of Americans may not have the testicular fortitude for spicy Indian food.

But we certainly have the cojones for spicy food. Bring it on.

Adding insult to injury, the Chicken Chilli was cold, just minutes after the restaurant opened.

Indian Taj Jackson Heights Chicken Chilli Cold, Spiceless Chicken Chilli

The medium sized Vegetable Samosa was evenly fried and that’s all we can say in its favor.

The Potato filling inside, which is the main allure of a Samosa, was horridly tasteless.

Worse than the bland mashed Potatoes that an American Grocery store deli peddles.

By God, if you can’t get the Samosa right you really have no place in an Indian kitchen. A Samosa is the equivalent of toasting bread.

How f*cking difficult can it be to get a Samosa right!

Indian Taj Tasteless Samosa Tasteless Samosa (left)

Kadi Pakora with a surfeit of Turmeric Powder did not provide us any joy of eating this famed Punjabi delicacy.

Pakoras in Kadi Pakora were so tasteless that we cringed after one bite.

Indian Taj Jackson Heights - Kadi Pakora Kadi Pakora – Mucho Turmeric Powder

Yellow Dal was hot temperature wise and that’s it.

Devoid of any flavor, Indian Taj’s Yellow Dal in our opinion is not fit for any living creature’s consumption leave alone paying diners.

Where do crappy restaurants like Indian Taj pick up their clueless kitchen staff from?

Are they Indians, Amigos or Aliens from a distant galaxy?

We wanna know.

Indian Taj Jackson Heights - Yellow Dal Tasteless Yellow Dal (top), Palak Paneer
and Navratan Korma (bottom left)

Mercifully, Palak Paneer did not have the usual raw taste that you encounter at so many Indian restaurants in the NY/NJ area.

But it was hopelessly flavorless and it felt like we were eating finely boiled chopped Spinach with fried Paneer than the North Indian creamy delicacy Palak Paneer.

Navratan Korma was creamy but dominated by Chickpeas making us wonder why Indian Taj had two Chickpeas items on the lunch buffet. Navratan Korma is usually prepared with a combination of nine vegetables including some nuts.

Compounding our irritation, the Indian Taj version of Navratan Korma was far too sweetish. Continue reading »

Mehfil Jackson Heights, NY Review – Not Fit for Humans, Animals or Even Aliens

Food, Reviews No Responses »

Dec 132011

Based on long years of dining out, we’d unequivocally declare that most Indian restaurants in the NY/NJ area are not fit for humans.

Some are not suitable even for animals.

And then there are the rare few like Mehfil in Jackson Heights that are unsuitable even for Aliens visiting from distant galaxies.

All Round Pain

It was bad Karma that drew us to Mehfil the other day.

We were misled by some of the favorable reviews on other sites.

Sadly, a lot of Indian restaurant reviews on other sites are penned by clueless bozos utterly unfamiliar with Indian food. Have keyboard, ergo will type nonsense seems to be the leitmotif of many reviewers these days.

Located on 37th Avenue and 76th St in Jackson Heights, a couple of blocks from the Indian hub on 74th St, Mehfil has been around for a couple of years.

We used to pass by the restaurant on our way to the Jackson Heights library but never found the time to stop.

During our latest visit to Jackson Heights, we were determined to stop by at Mehfil and sample its wares.

And so we did.

Much to our infinite regret.

It seemed as if all of Satan’s minions toiled had congregated inside Mehfil’s kitchen with the mission of inflicting hideous, maximum, unrelenting pain on unsuspecting souls who walked in.

Mehfil Jackson Heights Samosa & Mixed Veg Curry Horrid Samosa, Tasteless Mixed Veg Curry

From the horrid vegetable Samosa with its tasteless potato filling to the dry rice to the awful Tandoori items, Mehfil is a restaurant that screams its inadequacies.

How a restaurant can screw up basic fare like Samosa or Mixed Vegetable Curry or Tandoori Chicken and still claim to serve Indian cuisine is hard for sane minds to fathom. Must be the Himalayan heights of incompetence.

The restaurant is a simple affair, nothing fancy about the place.

Two rows of tables with a small corridor in between.

Mehfil Jackson Heights Fish Tandoori, Chicken Tikka Masala & Tandoori Chicken Awful Fish Tandoori (top left), Tandoori
Chicken (right), Chicken Tikka Masala

Tandoori Items – Clueless or Callous

Tandoori items are standard stuff in most Indian restaurants in NYC.

Cooked in a Tandoor (Indian clay oven) after proper marination with a mixture of yogurt and spices, they’re a royal treat when done well.

But the two Tandoori items at Mehfil – Tandoori Chicken and Fish Tandoori – were Katrinaesque disasters.

Hopelessly badly marinated, both left a horrible taste in the mouth that lingered.

Chicken Tikka Masala is another fixture at Indian restaurants in Jackson Heights and Manhattan as well. Alas, that too turned out to be a travesty here.

While the gravy was at least edible, the chicken had a weird medicinal taste (no kidding) and a horrid hard texture.

We shudder to think what might have given it the weird taste.

Mehfil Jackson Heights Veg Curries Horrid Alu Gobi (bottom left), Zucchini,
Mixed Veg Curry (bottom right) & Samosa

Mehil is an equal opportunity offender.

Satan does not squander any opportunity in his torturous mission. Continue reading »

If There be Heaven, it’s Gaeng Kua Sapparod

Food No Responses »

Dec 082011

After spending a lifetime gorging on the infinite varieties of Indian curries, we’ve now started exploring what’s on the other side of the curry fence.

In pursuit of the elixir outside of Indian food, we’ve lately started gormandizing on Thai food.

A variety of Thai dishes including Pad Thai, Drunken Noodles, Panang Red Curry, Kiew Warn, Thai Pineapple Curry, Spicy Tofu and Hot Green Curry have found their way into that cavernous black-hole aka SI’s stomach.

But nothing, nothing from the cornucopia of Thai cuisine that we’ve indulged in so far comes anywhere near Gaeng Kua Sapparod or Thai Pineapple Curry to those unfamiliar with the titillating names of Thai food.

Allah or Jesus or Ram must have been in a most beneficent mood when he parted with the recipe for Thai Pineapple Curry to Earthlings.

Thai Pineapple Curry – Manna from Heaven

Like with most great things, the origins of Thai Pineapple Curry are shrouded in a fog of mystery although we’ve heard rumors that one of our peripatetic South Indian ancestors may have played a part in its creation during his wanderings in Siam at the end of the 19th century to bring civilization to the natives.

A Different Curry

All curries are not created equal.

With their overpowering aroma and fiery taste, Indian curries are like, well, Indians.

In other words, hot, crude, occasionally deceptive and often herald their existence even before they touch your palate.

Once the Indian curry hits your palate, the shout gets magnified with the fiery explosion in your mouth.

Thai food, at least the bastardized American version of the various dishes we’ve tried over the last few months, does not need to scream to make its presence felt.

Still much of the Thai food we’ve tried has met with our approval.

But it’s the Thai Pineapple Curry that swept us off our feet and won our heart.

Thai Pineapple Curry is a coconut-milk and red curry paste based dish.

You can have the Thai Pineapple Curry with Chicken, Duck or with vegetables. So far we have had it only with vegetables.

It’s sweet and spicy at the same time.

Unless you’re a schmuck you know the pineapple gives it the sweet-sour touch and the red curry paste renders the spicy flavor or heat.

The gravy or sauce or whatever you chose to call it, in which the vegetables and small pineapple chunks come soaked, is neither watery like soup nor thick like the gravy of Chicken Tikka Masala or Butter Chicken. It’s somewhere in between.

Besides the pineapple chunks, the vegetable version of Thai Pineapple Curry includes Cauliflower, Snow peas, Cut Beans, Broccoli, ridged Carrot pieces, Zucchini slices, Baby Corn, slices of Cauliflower stalk, Tomato and Red Pepper

The dish usually comes with rice on the side.

You can pour the Thai Pineapple Curry on the rice or like we do, add a little bit of rice at a time into the curry and scoop it up with a spoon into your mouth. Either way, you come out on top!

If you’re looking for a desi vegetarian recipe for the Thai Pineapple Curry, you might want to visit Jugalbandi.

As we make the rounds of Thai restaurants we can’t help but notice that service at Thai restaurants is friendlier than at Indian restaurants.

Sporting a mournful mien, waiters in Indian restaurants invariably walk and act as if they have a monster dildo shoved up their backside.

Au contraire, Thais are usually bubbling with their smiles and How are youuus?

Whether the Thai enthusiasm is feigned or genuine, it does make you, the diner, feel good.

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SearchIndia.com Blog

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa – Ugh, Yeeks!

Apple of Grocery Stores

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa – Nice Packaging

Trader Joe’s Masala Dosa – A $1.99 Ripoff

Singapore Vegetarian – Rapture in Philly

Crisp, Hot Beginning

Lunch Specials

Singapore Vegetarian Soups

Singapore Vegetarian Appetizers

Vegetable Delight with Tofu

Hooray, Indian Restaurants Screwed; 61% of Americans Plan to Cut Back on Eating Out

Deserve to Die

Indian Taj Jackson Heights – Bastard Child

Merciless Assault

Indian Taj – Horrid Fare

Mehfil Jackson Heights, NY Review – Not Fit for Humans, Animals or Even Aliens

All Round Pain

Tandoori Items – Clueless or Callous

If There be Heaven, it’s Gaeng Kua Sapparod

A Different Curry

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