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By Sonny Chatrath
Occasional Actor &
President
Air-Savings.com

If you have been noticing, remakes of successful Bollywood movies from the 80s and 90s is on the rise. Some are extremely successful, and some are terrible flops.

If you have watched RGVs Sholay, or the new Umrao Jaan with Aishwarya Rai you know what I am talking about.

Some films are just painful to sit through in part because of the poor script and the rest because the new actors can’t hold a candle to their peers. Don is an exception to the rule.

New Agneepath Debuts

I was looking forward to the new Agneepath with Hrithik Roshan, Sanjay Dutt, Rishi Kapoor, Zareena Wahab, and others.

I was so anxious, that I arrived at the theatre about 10 minutes before showtime to make sure I didn’t miss even a second of the film.

Once inside the 200-seat theater I was relieved to see that I was one of just two souls in the theater. But given that today was a working day, and a rainy, dull, boring one at that, it made sense.

Or it may be that people were expecting someone like me to review this film so that they could save their precious $8.50. ;)

For those who are planning on downloading and watching this, I would recommend just bite the bullet and go watch it in a theater.

Blows You Away

I promise you the experience will blow you away. Not that the producer is paying me to make this statement.

For the benefit of our readers, I won’t draw parallels between the old Agneepath with Amitabh Bacchan.

Let’s treat this film as a whole new film, because most of us were too young back then to remember the original and bias is not always a good thing.

I will be honest, I am a big fan of Hrithik, Priyanka, and Sanjay Dutt because they are fine actors, and bring their own unique qualities to the screen.

Rishi Kapoor did his first negative role as the girl-trafficking, drug-pushing Rauf Lala and he did a phenomenal job.

It is sad that women in Indian cinema always play second fiddle to the male leads.

Without further ado I present my review of Agneepath.

School Master Dina Nath Chauhan lives with his family in Mandwa, a small coastal village where he teaches primary school kids. He is popular with the locals, and about to start his own salt mill.

The Local Zamindar/former ruler of mandwa hates his guts and wants him dead. He calls his son Kancha (Sanjay Dutt) from Mumbai to come and help him get rid of Dina Nath. They frame him for raping and killing a disabled school-girl and hang him immediately.

Vijay, his son, knows his dad is innocent, but can’t save his father. He leaves Mandwa with his mother and lands at Mumbai by boat, where he commits his first crime by killing a cop.

From that point the film picks up speed, and several new characters are introduced into the film.

Rishi Kapoor plays Vijay (Hrithik Roshan’s) mentor.

There are several plots, and sub-plots running simultaneously. Some of them don’t make much sense.

I will let you watch the film instead of giving the whole story away.

I did have several issues with continuity of the film.

In my opinion, they cut Vijay’s childhood part short, and also failed to show the part where his mother disowns him.

Also, the young neighbor Kaali (Priyanka Chopra) is introduced without telling us who she is; it does take a while for people to figure that she is the neighbor’s daughter who has been in love with Vijay right from the start.

Kaali’s outfits look like they came out of one of those premium designer stores, she doesn’t look like she lives in a chawl.

Sanjay Dutt Rocks, Hrithik Intense

Sanjay Dutt shines as a villain.

I think Kancha will go down in history as one of the best villains in a Bollywood film.

He is Scary, Ruthless, and Ugly.

This is the first time I have seen him do a negative role.

Hrithik is one of the best actors in Bollywood, because he is always in character.

It is rumored that he locks himself in a room two days before the shot so that he stays in character.

His intensity is unbeatable.

Priyanka Chopra brings charm to the screen, but for some reason her existence doesn’t make any sense.

I wish they came up with more meaningful roles for women in Indian Cinema.

This film like other Bollywood films is Male Centric.

Zareena Wahab is perfect as Vijay’s mother.

The supporting cast also deserves recognition, especially the kid who plays Vijay as a child is gifted.

Chikni Chameli – Hot

Lately all Bollywood films are promoted with an item song.

This film had “Chikni Chameli” which was a pleasant distraction, and Katrina Kaif looks hot as hell.

I am sure the producers spent a pretty penny on that song.

The whole Agneepath album is very melodious.

Melodious Music

Ajay-Atul have done a good job composing the music.

The director did take some cinematic liberties, like the time when Vijay Picks up Kancha,  (I mean all the way over his head) after being stabbed multiple times and throws him on the ground.

I am sure you will watch that scene and chuckle. Sanjay Dutt is like a mini mountain compared to Hrithik, yet Hrithik whips him like miracle whip.

And then there are the tear jerking moments of the film, which are an integral part of any Bollywood film.

It is moments like these that make Bollywood films family friendly. After all they have to think about all the unclejis, and auntijis who will sob, and sniff.

The cinematography is above-average, and Mandwa village looks beautiful.

Indian Cinema has really come a long way from those over the top films of the 80s and 90s in the sense that level of acting has improved tremendously, and even with the few flaws in continuity, and script the overall product is great.

I highly recommend the new Agneepath. It has the potential of becoming one of the biggest releases of 2012.

Related Posts:
Old Agneepath Review

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Dear God,

Have you lost it completely?

Never mind. That was just a rhetorical question.

We find it so distressing that your callous indifference to the most basic elements of quality has reached epic heights.

That you could allow such a loathsome and disgustingly crude item number like Chikni Chameli to see the light of the day can only mean Satan is now the guiding hand behind your actions.

Art is obviously no longer your domain!

Shocked as we’re at the ugly spectacle of Chikni Chameli, we confess it’s not a complete surprise considering the person at the center of that perversity.

Katrina – Sheer Agony

Of all the horrid Indian starlets we’ve had the misfortune to behold, this British import Katrina Kaif has the least class.

Be it in her dance moves, her acting, her gait or her talk, Katrina Kaif is a monument, God, to your folly.

Garbed in as little attire as possible, the woman thinks, in deluded fashion, surely, that thrusting her tits forward, obscenely shaking her derriere and crudely spreading her legs wide, is the acme of seductive moves.

Mon dieu, seductive it is not.

Slutty, it most certainly is.

In a sane world guided by a wise hand, creatures like Katrina Kaif would not be within 100-feet of a camera.

We have not the slightest doubt that your Indian acolytes, whose reckless ceaseless breeding has raised their numbers to 1.2 billion, will love the Chikni Chameli item number because it’s in the nature of those savages to embrace filth of any kind.

The trashier it gets the tighter their embrace.

Dear not-so-almighty, we pray that the Satanic influence on you abates soon.

Your most skeptical former devotee,
SI

Related Stories:
Agneepath (1990) Review – Nauseating Piece of Shit

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Some movies should never see the light of the day.

Even if they were made, they should never have been released in theaters.

One such movie is Rascals, a movie that’s been completely trashed by reviewers.

Directed by David Dhawan, the piece of junk features real-life Indian criminal Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgn and Kangana Ranaut.

In a sign that God exists, Rascals has fared miserably at the U.S. box office.

For the October 7-9, 2011 opening weekend, Rascals grossed a mere $168,082 at the U.S. box office, putting it up among the lowest grossers for a Bollywood film in America.

Rascals released on 61 screens and had a per screen average of $2,755.

See for yourself how Rascals fared compared to a few prominent Bollywood films:

Rascals Fares Miserably at U.S. Box Office
Related Posts:
Rascals is Garbage, Say Critics

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The first reviews of David Dhawan’s Rascals (Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgn, Kangana Ranaut) are out and they are overwhelmingly negative.

The reviewers have basically puked on Rascals.

Here are excerpts from a bunch of reviews on Rascals:

Times of India:

Rascals is what one can call a ‘vacation’ filmmaking stint where everyone works on the film as if they were on a ‘holiday’ and the audience is expected to ‘leave’ their senses behind. The actors make least efforts to add conviction to their performances and the patchy writing just allows them to play as they please. Invariably the director tries to camouflage the shallowness in the story by adding depth only in the decibel levels of the dialogue delivery….Rascals ends up being a silly and stupid comedy!

NDTV:

The gags in Rascals are so stale and tasteless and the situational comedy so devoid of any kind of originality or freshness, you wonder if David Dhawan just made this unfunny comedy to please his friends who play the major roles in the film….Two long painful hours of mirthless gags and skits adding up to no sense of hilarity.

Rediff:

For his latest Rascals, starring Sanjay Dutt and Ajay Devgn, Dhawan sponges a bunch of comedies from his own stable and outside to rustle up a series of misadventures that are dumb, dated and dreary. But that’s not its only problem. Rascals, with no structure or motive, cannot (rather does not even try to) conceal its desperation to make itself funny. And this insecurity shows in each and every gag.

Reuters:

David Dhawan must really hate us. Or maybe he wants to exact revenge on his audience. That must be why he subjected us to this three-hour monstrosity that is called “Rascals”….Dhawan hasn’t even bothered with a coherent script –- it’s almost as if everyone connected with the film landed up on sets and asked themselves, “now what juvenile gag can we come up with today?”….This is the cinematic equivalent of torture. Avoid at all costs.

CNN-IBN

David Dhawan, who’s no purveyor of good taste, plumbs new depths of crassness with this expectedly insensitive film that’s so short on real jokes that it makes light of everything from starving orphans in Somalia to the physically handicapped….Donate your cash to charity instead of wasting it on this wretched film!

Related Posts:
Rascals Fares Horribly at U.S. Box Office

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