I Hate Luv Storys Review – You Call this Junk a Movie?

Mon dieu, when will these Bollywood mongrels put a lid on the garbage they keep shoving our way ceaselessly

Total garbage.

Yeah, what else can you call a movie with a limp, silly story that borrows from/spoofs old Hindi movies like DDLJ, Dil Chahta Hai, Kal Ho Na Ho, Hum Tum et al including the names of two principal DDLJ characters Raj and Simran and loses steam in just 20-minutes.

To employ a sexual metaphor, we’d describe I Hate Luv Storys as an instance of premature ejaculation. 😉

Depressing, disgusting and, oh hell, frustrating, we tell ya.

Is there no relief at all for us from Karan Johar’s troupe of gibbering monkeys?

Poor Response

For the opening show of this trash at a theater on the East Coast, there were just three people.

Just three people for Dharma Productions’ I Hate Luv Storys.


Stupid Story

Yes, we’ve said this a million times.

But we’ll say it one more time – Indian movie-makers just can’t get hold of a gripping story. Just beyond their pea-sized brains.

I Hate Luv Storys hews to the time-honored tradition of hackneyed, jackass Bollywood tales.

Girl (Sonam Kapoor) with a perfect, steady boy-friend believes in Bollywood-style love and romance while the boy (Imran Khan) is adamant that this love thing is all balderdash.

Of course, in true Bollywood ishtyle the girl Simran soon falls in love with our all-love-is-nonsense boy J, who rebuffs her. Before you can say Yeh kya bakwas (what rubbish is this),  the all-love-is-nonsense boy falls in love with the girl whose turn it is to spurn him.

All the while, Simran’s besotted boyfriend Raj (the talented Sameer Dattani) is waiting patiently in the background for his girl.

Of course, all’s well in the end for Simran and J (alas, not for the paying audience or for Raj).

Is this the kind of shit that gives you a hard-on or if you are a gal an urgent twitch between your thighs.

By the way, we found the movie-within-the-movie tiresome. 🙁

Come on guys, let’s use our imagination, shall we. Or are we completely bereft of ideas that we stoop to spewing out such drivel.

Just in case you’re curious, the director and writer of this crap-show is a clown by the name of Punit Malhotra.

Sonam’s Fine, As Usual

We’ve made no secret of our fondness for Sonam Kapoor.

The girl is easily the best Indian actress in the below-35 age group. We liked her in Delhi 6 and to some extent in her first movie Sawariya too.

In I Hate Luv Storys, Sonam once again acquits herself well but the story is so crappy, so boring, so hackneyed that even if she were to shed all her clothes she wouldn’t be able to salvage this nonsense.

Imran Khan – OK, Kinda

Imran Khan, who’s had two flops lately (Kidnap and Luck) didn’t impress us as much as Sonam but he’s tolerable.

But what’s with the funny walk, kid?

Samir Soni, who plays the film director Veer of the movie-in-the-movie, is a decent actor as is the guy who plays J’s buddy Kunal.

Don’t Waste Your Time

Sure, since it’s a movie from Karan Johar’s stable, one has to temper one’s enthusiasm and rein in expectation of any quality stuff given this bozo’s hopeless record of late.

The music was no great shakes either. As for the picturization of the songs, pedestrian stuff.

Eminently forgettable. Even the number filmed in New Zealand.

To say that we were disappointed with I Hate Luv Storys would be a gross understatement.

Unless a miracle happens, Sonam Kapoor will get her third consecutive flop in I Hate Luv Storys.

Folks, don’t even consider watching this piece of trash unless you have a desperate itch to part with your money or delight in squandering your time on junk.

Come on guys, extend your middle finger to this garbage. It deserves nothing less.

Related Stories:
I Hate Luv Storys Box Office – Mediocre Showing

19 Responses to "I Hate Luv Storys Review – You Call this Junk a Movie?"

  1. Twig   July 1, 2010 at 2:36 am

    I guess there is a fundamental problem with how certain bollywood minds think.
    People coming from rich families and those who grew up in mumbai watching 70’s, 90’s hindi movies and only english movies without actually knowing the reality in India, will usually come up with these stories citing “movies are for entertainmnent”. Is that entertainment mr.karan, ms. farah khan, mr.chopras ?

    India though a shit place technically, is kind of a miracle. It’s existence as a single country with diversified people itself is a miracle. When such diversity exists there are bound to be several stories to tell, amazing things to be written down and made movies from. But these kind of rich brats (mostly, punjabi I believe) make these kind of movies and make us watch forcefully. Stories happening in england, russia, australia, usa, canada, italy etc i mean wtf? Why do they have to go there every time to tell a bull f*cking story in Hindi for indians?

    As india gone way too much high? recently I couldn’t even connect to this trailer called “Aisha” starring Sonam Kapoor and Abhay Deol. The trailer is completely like hollywood stuff (dress, culture etc) except the language.

    Karan is remaking a movie called “Step Mom” in to Hindi. Why ? Why ? Why?

    People like Vishal Bharadwaj, Mani ratnam (forgive his latest movies please), Bala tries hard to make unbelievable stuff and foreigners will know about these kind of ‘romantic’ and non sense stories.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: I guess there is a fundamental problem with how certain bollywood minds think.
    People coming from rich families and those who grew up in mumbai watching 70’s, 90’s hindi movies and only english movies without actually knowing the reality in India, will usually come up with these stories citing “movies are for entertainment”. Is that entertainment mr.karan, ms. farah khan, mr.chopras ?

    Very true.

    Karan Johar wouldn’t recognize entertainment if it bit him on the dick.

    2. Hey, we watched the Aisha trailer too yesterday. Blah blah blah about marriage.

    Sonam had a Victorian-style veil/hat. Weird.

    The only things good about Sonam are her acting skills and, of course, her anatomy. 😉

    Her choice of movies: Delhi 6 and now this garbage I Hate Luv Storys shows a hollow head.

    3. Watched the trailer of Peepli Live (produced by Aamir Khan). Looks interesting.

  2. Twig   July 1, 2010 at 2:50 am

    Hey Dude! OTOH, When are you watching Iruvar or Mouna Raagam? those lie at the top of my fav Maniratnam movies.

    or what about Mahanadi ? (Give preference to this movie, these kinda of movies
    should be made popular though failed at box office miserably)
    Also, I haven’t yet received the review of Anukokunda Oka Roju?

    Am I asking too much?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: Am I asking too much?

    Since when have Indians ever asked too little. 😉

    2. We’ll do Iruvar first. A lot of readers have asked demanded it,

    Then Anukokunda Oka Roju for the best-sounding title although we don’t like can’t stand Charmy.

    • முனிAndy   July 1, 2010 at 8:56 am

      We’ll do Iruvar first. – Ménage à Trois??

      I didn’t think much of Iruvar. Mouna Raagam, I love.. Revathi was so cute. Unfortunately she has aged rather badly.. [Deleted]?!

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      No Ménage à Trois.

      Truth be said, we don’t fancy Ash.

      Our taste runs along Vimala Raman, Sonam Kapoor, Tabu, Vidya Balan et al.

    • sganeshkumar1989   July 2, 2010 at 2:18 pm

      hey don’t avoid Anukokunda Oka Roju,just because of Charmy.
      It really has a very fine and original screenplay,a rare well-made film.

      SearchIndia.com Responds:


  3. sankara.sr   July 1, 2010 at 9:28 am

    You should watch TAMIZH PADAM. It is a spoof of all the Tamil movie formulas.

    The movie does not take itself seriously, but serious effort has gone in making the humorous parts.. It is better than all the indian movies put together. Post a review of the movie if you can 🙂

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write above: You should watch TAMIZH PADAM….Post a review of the movie if you can

    We haven’t seen Tamil Padam.

    But SI reader Racer watched and reviewed it: Tamil Padam – Surfeit of Gags, Few LOL Moments

  4. chennaiarun2007   July 1, 2010 at 10:08 am

    Hi Si,

    Have you watched the film So Close? Decent action and thriller stuff too.

    But the only problem is that you need to watch it with “English subtitles”(for better understanding).


    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    No. Will watch.

    Most Netflix DVDs (including Cantonese, French, Hindi, Tamil and Telugu) come with subtitles…not to worry.

  5. kreacher   July 2, 2010 at 4:51 am

    OT, have you had any luck with LiveWriter?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Thanks for the reminder.

    We just installed it on one PC (had difficulty with another PC because it was already there and we didn’t realize it until half-way through the install and then had conflicts that couldn’t be resolved. Finally, we threw in the towel and moved to a different PC where we had a smooth install).

    We’ll write a full post on Live Writer (not the upcoming Mildred Pierce Review but the one after that) and mention it at the top of the post.

    We wrote the below post via Live Writer and published it directly from there:
    I Hate Luv Storys is Boring Shit, Say Critics.

    Did not find any advantage with Live Writer over the main WP application. Also had issues like centering.

    But did not test features like preview. Just wrote and published. Will relook at it tonight or tomorrow with another post.

    Of course, writing offline could be an advantage while flying and if you don’t have WiFi on board.

  6. rakeshbaba   July 2, 2010 at 5:46 am


    have you heard about a kannada movie called “aa dinagalu”,based on real story.in which a rowdy named kotwal is killed by a gang including a person agni shridhar.but the interesting thing of this movie is that the story is written by the same agni shridhar

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    No, unaware of Aa Dinagalu. The last Kannada film we watched was either the 38-year-old Nagarahaavu or Mungaru Male (2006).

    Just read about Aa Dinagalu on Wiki. Looks interesting.

    • rakeshbaba   July 2, 2010 at 5:47 am

      check this out in wiki

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      Done. Please see previous response.

  7. vjcool   July 2, 2010 at 7:43 am

    A little offbeat humour!


    what would life be, without these nuts.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:


    The best part of the story in your link:

    The temple, with the symbol of the rising sun (DMK party symbol), has an inscription saying “God will give only if you ask, but Kalaignar will give you without being asked”

    • vjcool   July 5, 2010 at 6:33 am

      the best and the worst part.

      people still go gaga over how hes still ‘sharp as a tack’.

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      Maybe, people in TN are getting the government they deserve.

  8. ajayrocks   July 2, 2010 at 7:51 am

    what about this?


    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Looks interesting.

    Any connection to the Hollywood film Once Upon a time in the West?

    • ajayrocks   July 2, 2010 at 1:14 pm

      naaa…actually this is based on the real story and what happened between haji mastan and daewood…

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      Was Dawood around then? The other big smuggler those days was Sukur Narain Bakhia.

      Not sure if this is true but we remember reading/hearing that Haji Mastan was originally from Cuddalore in Tamil Nadu.

      Then there was the Mumbai don Varadaraja Mudaliar on whom Kamal Haasan’s Naygan was supposedly based.

      Looks like Tamils have a proud heritage. 😉

      • ajayrocks   July 2, 2010 at 1:34 pm

        actually haji mastan started smuggling and ol in mumbai that time…daewood was the supposed student of him and then overtook him…

        SearchIndia.com Responds:

        Wonder if the master taught the student mass-murder/terrorist skills as well (remember Mumbai blasts of March 1993?

        • ajayrocks   July 2, 2010 at 1:53 pm

          naaa…actually its the opposite…haji was involved in just smuggling and ol and he did not like to kill people and violence and all…and probably thats why daewood and they both split as he wanted to just increase his power no matter how he does it..

          SearchIndia.com Responds:

          You write: he did not like to kill people and violence and all

          Violence is usually inherent in criminal activities like smuggling. These guys are not Boy Scouts.

  9. rakeshbaba   July 3, 2010 at 4:51 am

    have u seen hrishikesh mukherjee’s old comedy movie called “chupke chupke”.?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    No. Remember to have seen Khubsoorat and one or two other Hrishida films.

  10. 1012900   July 3, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    No 7G review yet?

    Btw did you get around to watching Yavarum Nalam or 13B?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Not yet, to both questions.

  11. chennaiarun2007   July 4, 2010 at 1:10 pm


    Hi SI,

    Watched Vinaithandi Varuuvaya.

    I agree with your review on this film.

    I watched this film with a really serious mind thinking that he would have made a very serious and mature romantic flick. Only very few scenes of the film are a bit realistic.

    Overall the film was poorly executed.My heartfelt sympathies to you for watching this film in theater.

    But I disagree with you on your assessment of Simbhu’s acting in this film.He did a decent job.Yes,I know that compared to Hollywood actors,his acting was bad.But compared to his other previous movies,there was a slight improvement in his acting.

    Yes,the film was so poor that now I cannot even remember a single scene!!And also Trisha sucked a bit on the expressions part and she played an important role in bringing down the quality of the film.No contrary views about that and also about the poor picturisation of the songs. Aaromale song was pretty unbearable to hear!!


    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    There’s talk of making this same trash in Hindi now. 🙁

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