Mon dieu, when will these Bollywood mongrels put a lid on the garbage they keep shoving our way ceaselessly
Yeah, what else can you call a movie with a limp, silly story that borrows from/spoofs old Hindi movies like DDLJ, Dil Chahta Hai, Kal Ho Na Ho, Hum Tum et al including the names of two principal DDLJ characters Raj and Simran and loses steam in just 20-minutes.
To employ a sexual metaphor, we’d describe I Hate Luv Storys as an instance of premature ejaculation. 😉
Depressing, disgusting and, oh hell, frustrating, we tell ya.
Is there no relief at all for us from Karan Johar’s troupe of gibbering monkeys?
For the opening show of this trash at a theater on the East Coast, there were just three people.
Just three people for Dharma Productions’ I Hate Luv Storys.
Yes, we’ve said this a million times.
But we’ll say it one more time – Indian movie-makers just can’t get hold of a gripping story. Just beyond their pea-sized brains.
I Hate Luv Storys hews to the time-honored tradition of hackneyed, jackass Bollywood tales.
Girl (Sonam Kapoor) with a perfect, steady boy-friend believes in Bollywood-style love and romance while the boy (Imran Khan) is adamant that this love thing is all balderdash.
Of course, in true Bollywood ishtyle the girl Simran soon falls in love with our all-love-is-nonsense boy J, who rebuffs her. Before you can say Yeh kya bakwas (what rubbish is this), the all-love-is-nonsense boy falls in love with the girl whose turn it is to spurn him.
All the while, Simran’s besotted boyfriend Raj (the talented Sameer Dattani) is waiting patiently in the background for his girl.
Of course, all’s well in the end for Simran and J (alas, not for the paying audience or for Raj).
Is this the kind of shit that gives you a hard-on or if you are a gal an urgent twitch between your thighs.
By the way, we found the movie-within-the-movie tiresome. 🙁
Come on guys, let’s use our imagination, shall we. Or are we completely bereft of ideas that we stoop to spewing out such drivel.
Just in case you’re curious, the director and writer of this crap-show is a clown by the name of Punit Malhotra.
Sonam’s Fine, As Usual
We’ve made no secret of our fondness for Sonam Kapoor.
The girl is easily the best Indian actress in the below-35 age group. We liked her in Delhi 6 and to some extent in her first movie Sawariya too.
In I Hate Luv Storys, Sonam once again acquits herself well but the story is so crappy, so boring, so hackneyed that even if she were to shed all her clothes she wouldn’t be able to salvage this nonsense.
Imran Khan – OK, Kinda
Imran Khan, who’s had two flops lately (Kidnap and Luck) didn’t impress us as much as Sonam but he’s tolerable.
But what’s with the funny walk, kid?
Samir Soni, who plays the film director Veer of the movie-in-the-movie, is a decent actor as is the guy who plays J’s buddy Kunal.
Don’t Waste Your Time
Sure, since it’s a movie from Karan Johar’s stable, one has to temper one’s enthusiasm and rein in expectation of any quality stuff given this bozo’s hopeless record of late.
The music was no great shakes either. As for the picturization of the songs, pedestrian stuff.
Eminently forgettable. Even the number filmed in New Zealand.
To say that we were disappointed with I Hate Luv Storys would be a gross understatement.
Unless a miracle happens, Sonam Kapoor will get her third consecutive flop in I Hate Luv Storys.
Folks, don’t even consider watching this piece of trash unless you have a desperate itch to part with your money or delight in squandering your time on junk.
Come on guys, extend your middle finger to this garbage. It deserves nothing less.