Dabangg Review – Garbage, Plain & Simple

The singular achievement of the sophomoric troika of actor Salman Khan, producer Arbaaz Khan and director Abhinav Kashyap is that with Dabangg they have reduced Bollywood to the level of those trashy Tamil films where a maniacal hero runs amok beating all and sundry to a pulp when he’s not making eyes at a buxom belle.

Ugly as Hell
Folks, Dabangg is not a movie so much as expulsion of one long, foul-smelling fart that completely vitiates the surrounding atmosphere and jarringly echoes for the full length of the film.

Devoid of anything remotely resembling a story, destitute of any logic and deprived of decent music, Dabangg is a sound slap in the face to Bollywood and Salman Khan fans.

The sole raison d’etre of Dabangg seems to be a desperate attempt to resuscitate Salman Khan’s flagging Bollywood career with a heavy dose of publicity stunts and marketing to cover up the movie’s utter lack of any redeeming qualities.

Salman Khan plays a buffoonish, thuggish, corrupt cop Chulbul Pandey aka Robinhood Pandey in the Lalgunj area, somewhere in the North Indian state of Uttar Pradesh.

The cop’s claim to fame is that defying gravity and all the known and unknown laws of physics he goes about bashing the bad guys in which category falls his idiot of a step-brother Makhanchand Pandey aka Makkhi.

Whether he’s acting the clownish cop or wooing the girl, Salman Khan has a dazed, drugged-out look most of the time and rarely comes to life except when he’s bashing one of those ill-fated goons who happen to fall foul of him. Hell, the fella can’t even walk straight and looks mighty silly with that fake swagger.

Newcomer Sonakshi Sinha (daughter of yesteryear loudmouth actor Shatrughan Sinha) plays Salman’s love interest and a poor potter girl with a drunkard father.

Mercifully, the well-endowed (34C?) Sonakshi did not wet all over herself in her debut film but then she didn’t set the screen afire either. Since the babe looks extremely seductive, particularly with her lips slightly parted invitingly, we’ll forgive this lass anything. Sadly, she had a small role in the film.

Sonu Sood, one of the few talented actors to emerge out of the Bollywood incestuous nest in recent times, is the villain Chedi Singh.

As is his wont, Sonu does a decent job but given the hideous joke of a story there’s not much he can do to salvage this acme of nonsense.

Dimple Kapadia, Vinod Khanna, Om Puri and Anupam Kher have bit roles in the film and seem to have brought in solely to lend  some credibility to this arrant nonsense.

Mediocre Music
Nothing to write home about, again.

Even the much ballyhooed Munni Badnaam item number featuring Malaika Arora (wife of Arbaaz Khan) didn’t get us even a wee bit wet between the legs.

Malaika lacks the physical attributes and the acting talent required to carry off this song with oomph. Sad.

Total Garbage
Overall, Dabangg is garbage, plain and simple.

To squander money and time on garbage like Dabangg is to plead with the Marquis de Sade to generously whip your backside black and blue.

Guys, do not hesitate even one second to show your middle finger to this piece of trash aka Dabangg.

N.B.: At least three of our neighbors at a theater on the U.S. East Coast were Muslims and given the Eid festival and Salman’s Islamic  background, we won’t be surprised if Muslims come out in large numbers.

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