A short while ago, one of our U.S. readers posted a comment about visiting Five Guys (the burger joint) last week and how the burger there was excellent.
That sent us down memory lane because a few month back we’d visited one of the Five Guys stores in our area.
Our visit was after Zagat rated Five Guys the #1 Burger last year.
Plus, there was all that hoopla about President Obama’s visit to a Five Guys store in Washington DC.
We were curious to see what the big fuss was all about.
No Big Deal
Five Guys was the usual, crappy fast-food place.
The free peanuts were kept near the trash-can.
And the Five Guys employee serving us had the standard I-don’t-give-f*ck attitude that fast food outlet employees usually sport.
We ordered the Hamburger (with Mayo, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, Green Pepper and Mustard), Cajun Fries and a drink.
The Hamburger was $4.99, the Cajun Fries $2.39 and the drink $1.99.
It took about 7 minutes for our order to get ready. While waiting, we got some free peanuts (remember, they’re near the trash-can) in a paper container.
We don’t recollect being particularly enthused about the burger.
Not particularly juicy or memorable in any sort of way.
Or maybe, we’ve not had enough hamburgers to appreciate a good one when we see one.
The Cajun Fries were no big deal either.
The boardwalk fries with Cajun seasoning at our neighborhood Pizza joint Polisano’s are better.
The Polisano fries and, hell, even the Mac fries, taste far superior.
We remember having a nauseating feeling as we were returning home, perhaps because we gorged on the free peanuts. 😉
All in all, we wouldn’t recommend Five Guys to anyone.
But then we wouldn’t recommend any non-Indian food place to our readers (except, maybe Maoz).
With their infinite choices, varied cuisines (North Indian, South Indian, Punjabi, Gujarati, Andhra, Bengali), yummilecious spicy delights and a million kinds of sweets, Indian food ranks far ahead of any other.
Who gives a rat’s ass about Five Guys or Wendy’s or Burger King or Taco Bell!
By the way, are Indians really into Hamburgers or any other fast-food stuff such as Chicken Sandwich and the like.
We don’t think so.
On the few occasions we’ve been to Mac, Burger King, Taco Bell, Five Guys, Hardees and KFC, we’ve almost never seen Indians.
Smart fellas. these Indians. Who wants to eat that fast-food shit.
The only Indians we see in fast-food outlets here are the Gujjus working behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts and making that bad hideously awful coffee . 😉
hmm.. may be our area was the issue.. It is after all, [DELETED]
OK, the burger may not have been good at your place..
But you also added:
even the Mac fries, taste far superior That takes away all the credibility from your post.
You write: even the Mac fries, taste far superior That takes away all the credibility from your post.
Seriously, how many times have you had Mac fries?
Really, the Mac fries are good (although they may be bad for your health). God knows, what they add to the fries to get that texture and taste but they’re good.
We’ve stopped by at Mac on quite a few occasions just for the fries and the 3-for-$1 Oatmeal cookies. No kidding!
Yes, I haven’t had Mac Fries in many years.. I remember them being plasticky*.. not potatoey.. Unless they have changed the recipe.
Five Guys fries are supposed to be fresh.. they tasted fresh in my location – we even saw them cut the potatoes when we were watching.. Not sure how they were in your location.
* I searched for “plasticky fries” on google.. and guess what showed up.
I swear that I hadn’t heard the term “plasticky fries” anywhere.. nor had I watched this video before (apparently from the movie “Super Size Me”, which I haven’t watched).
FYI – Zagat on August 16, 2010 announced that McDonald’s won in the category of Best French Fries for the third year in a row in the Zagat Fast Food Survey. The Zagat survey covered 97 fast food chains and 39 full service chains.
We’ve seen Supersize Me. Great documentary. Thoroughly f*cked McDonald’s. 😉
“Frozen” puts me off, I guess. Piyush Chawla experiment fails again. I think Dhoni has a thing for his baby face.
We presume selection of players is not Kosher.
India 151-5. Needs 39/135 balls – 9:58AM EST. Requires great effort now to lose.
What’s all this fast-food nonsense in front of – Idli with chettinadu saambar / masala or ghee dosa with chutney and saambar / parathas with ginger chicken curry / hyderabadi or dindigul thalapakatti chicken biriyani / bisi-bele-bath / etc.. They don’t even stand a chance in front of rich Indian varieties..
Our forefathers must have been visionaries! They had always been researching and bringing up varieties in satisfying two mouths [horizontal one and the vertical one 😉 ] which are always-hungry for indians!
1. You write: What’s all this fast-food nonsense in front of – Idli with chettinadu saambar / masala or ghee dosa with chutney ….
True, if you live in Chennai or any other part of India where each time you trip and fall you land in front of an Idli/Vada or Paratha joint.
But here if you trip and fall you only land in front of BK, Denny’s, Wendy’s, Hardees, Dunkin Donut, KFC or under the big arch of the McDonald’s.
Indian fast-food places have not taken off in the U.S., presumably because Indian food by its nature is not geared toward quick gratification.
2. If you go by the gargantuan appetites of the Americans, both of the horizontal and vertical kind to use your lingo 😉 , we think Indian appetites are small.
There is a chain prevalent in California and seen in occasional places in Nevada – In-n-Out Burger. They have this concept of a “Secret Menu”, which is really a not-so-secret menu, in the sense that you need to ask them for “Animal Style”. So a typical order would be Double-burger-single-cheese-animal-style (2 meat patties, one slice of cheese and the animal style dressing). They are good – at least better than any fast food burger I have had in the US.
I personally prefer the fries of Five Guys to the Mac fries, though after trying the fries at Nando’s (a Portuguese chicken joint very popular in London, with offshoots in Canada and just 4 restaurants in the US) the others seem decidedly inferior. As told to me by a Portuguese ex-colleague, the green chillies that we Indians find indispensable were apparently brought to India by Vasco and his minions (a chilli is called peri-peri in Portuguese) – one of the few good things that Europeans took to India it would seem. The point this colleague was trying to make was that these Iberians know how to make good use of their spices, so Nando’s “Peri Peri fries” do suit Indian taste-buds. Of course, the chicken at Nando’s is pretty tasty too: flame-grilled and spicy, somewhat reminiscent of the grilled chicken that some restaurants in India serve.
(for some weird reason, this comment jumped into the spam folder)
Not sure if we’ve been to In-n-Out but visited the drive-thru of another CA chain Jack in the Box on several occasions for their shakes.
Nando’s “Peri Peri” sounds beri-beri interesting.
believe it or not i know a few jains(not friends of mine) who eat at that abomination to all that is food(aka taco bell) and who even order a “seven(??) layered burrito” presumably with meat but im not sure if they can substitute it for something from the veggie section.as far as mac’d’s in concerned:they have good hashbrownes and orange juice,other than than,their food,yes including their “french” fries are below par compared to the fries you can get in the frozen food aisle at meijer or giant eagle.if you ever watch beavis and butthead “work sucks” there is a scene where beavis puts a dead mouse in the frier and throws in a bunch of dead flies for spices and calls it”mouse burger and french FLIES”…..that is what you bozo’s are eating when you go to those places.
We’ve heard of Ostrich Burger and Buffalo Burger but Mouse Burger is a new one (even if it’s just in a TV series).
if anyone wants to watch it,here’s the video
p.s you might want to keep your inhaler next to you as you might be out of breath laughing!!
Never going near Mac, BK, Wendy’s et al ever again lest Beavis and Butthead’s cousins work there!
So you think Five Guys burger is yuck? Then, why don’t you go to a nice Indian buffet in Chicago anonymously and review it for SI. Take a companion too. Of course, we’ll pay for both of you. It’s 7:38PM EST and we’re more than a little tipsy but we’re serious. 😉
YUCK = For the youtube video. Never had a Five Guys Burger.
Review… I cant do it today. Had a heavy “free” lunch at work 😉 I have a cousin visiting me this weekend and we will be doing a few Indian Buffets. He recently came from India and lives in a small town here so he is starved for real food. Does that work? Thanks for the offer anyway. 🙂
This weekend works fine. Do it discreetly without the Indian restaurant realizing it.
If you have an iPhone or Android, take some pix (food and one external picture of restaurant). See our picture of Nando’s Butternut Squash and Couscous Salad today. We”ll PayPal the money to your e-mail.
We’ll cover both Sat & Sun Indian buffets as long as they are of different restaurants.
You can boast to your Small Town cousin how his/her Big City cousin gets paid to eat Indian food in America. 😉
Sounds good. I’ll try to get it out to you over the weekend or Monday.
Good. We’ll even give you a byline.
Sorry.. could not get the reviews to you by Monday. Crazy day at work.. was working till few mins ago. We visited two restaurants over the weekend and my reviews will be ready tomorrow. Do you have an email id where i can send the review and pics? I will have it out today (Tuesday)
Just sent you an e-mail to the ID you used for registration here with details. 6:48AM ET.
One of the ABCD’s at my work was going gaga over Five Guys. There is one right behind my apartment, but I just didn’t get a chance to go. Most of my junk is from Chick-fil-A. Not sure if it is a Placebo effect, but I feel their burgers are way superior than any fast food in US.
If you happen to come to Little Rock (which has a negative chance ;)), do visit this place – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-W3JwIGPUs Best burgers you will ever have. We make a point to visit this at least once a week. You got to wait in queue to get a seat here.
1. Regarding your video link (above), how can people eat that Quadruple Hubcap Burger.
Gross. As a country, we (i.e. Americans) are the greediest pigs.
No wonder this country is going to the dogs. Not hot-dogs but just going to the dogs.
2. Chick-fil-A shakes are not bad, particularly their mint wateva.
I think I, the tamil idly sambhar, can handle the Quadruple Hubcap Burger easily 😀 No big deal.
But I am surprised that you are surprised… in most of your food reviews, you seem really ravenous.. Do you finish all that you order or just taste it and toss it in trash (or hand it to the needy). But, as you are a free-redbox-patron, I would think that you will finish whatever you order (if it tastes good), like me.
1. Really, eating that much (the Quadruple Hubcap Burger in KD’s video link) seems gross and very unhealthy (given the generally unhygienic state of meat-processing in this country, i.e., the U.S).
Surely, more people die of overeating than of starvation, at least in the modern era. Look at the obesity crisis in the U.S.
We try our best not to waste food. Seldom do we leave it on the plate unless it’s spoiled or really, really bad. We are ravenous when we get to an Indian restaurant because sometimes we skip breakfast due to our way-too-hectic lifestyle. 🙁
2. We don’t use RedBox that much. All in all, no more than 10-15 DVDs so far from RedBox. Nothing compared to the several hundred we’ve got from Netflix, Blockbuster and the private DVD stores (in the old days when the Private DVD rentals were still around…they’re all gone now in the Netflix age).
I should have watched the video, before bragging.. each f*ckin patty seems to be 1 pound.. I think I can handle a double at my hungriest.. without the buns.
I forgot about the third option.. “take home”.. That’s the only option when we got an Italian restaurant.. TOO MUCH FOOD. Italian Restaurants are the anti-SaravanaBhavans.
Diving into the Quadruple Hubcap Burgers, that’s just
askingbegging for health trouble.
Plus, how do you even shove that monstrosity into your gob.
I have never seen anyone ordering the quadruple hubcap burger. In the show Man Vs Food, this guy goes to local restaurants in very city and eats a super-size of whatever they offer. If he finishes, Man wins. If not Food wins. The show is available in Netflix instant. Check it out if that guy has covered your city.
We go to Cothams after a 2-3 hour trek in the mountains of Central Arkansas. We go there completely starved and super hungry. Even then a single patty hubcap with onion rings will be difficult to finish. They are so heavy.
The Onion Rings in the video look good.
Long since we had decent Onion Rings. 🙁 Tired of BK’s tiny Onion Rings.
It is clearly evident that you are a tamil idly sambar for not getting the real good taste if of a hamburger or cheese burger. Bewakoof, at five guys, they start the process of making your burger by grilling the fresh meat infornt of you, rather like at Burger king or wendys were they fry or reheat previously cooked meat. Better keep yourself at idly, these five guys, johny rockets all for civilized quality conscious people.
Whoa, so you think we ‘Tamil Idly Sambar’ are not ‘civilized quality conscious people’ just because we wrote that Five Guys Burgers are not a big deal.
After careful consideration of what might ail you, this ‘Idly Sambar’ has come to the informed conclusion that you were likely weaned way too early. 😉
SI, please give ‘northindian’, moron-of-the-week title.
northindian gets the well deserved Moron of the Week title.
Offtopic: 9th Zimbabwe wicket falls. 185-9
He you go…’Moron of the Week’ is back to teach you guys on better things. who gonna care when a bunch of south indains (spice stinking – hairy nariayal headed – keeping a ugly broom between upper lip and nose) calling me moron…again who cares! I like the title though!
1. Ah, the same North Indian-South Indian shit yet again. 🙁
As we’ve said ad nauseum, ad infinitum you can take the Indians out of India but not India out of the Indians.
2. BTW, what’s wrong with a mustache.
Hell, even the current teen heartthrob Justin Bieber has promised fans a mustache. 😉
yeah, Ron Jeremy and John Holmes have/had mustaches too.
Ha ha ha. 😉
You forgot Burt Reynolds, an actor from a different genre.
Hate when people bring in the North-South issue in an argument. Sick.