Rockstar – Fails to Rock but OK by Indian Standards

The best we can say about Rockstar is that we didn’t throw up and sully the movie hall as we usually do after watching a Bollywood film (like Bodyguard or Dum Maro Dum, for instance).

As is to be expected of 99.9% of Indian films, Rockstar too is a romance.

But this one comes covered in the garb of an aspiring music lover’s rocky trek to rockstardom.

Unless you’ve been hiding under some desi rock eating stale Diwali Ladoos, you know Rockstar features Ranbir Kapoor and the sexy Paki-American-Czech kitten Nargis Fakhri.

And that the movie is written and directed by Imtiaz Ali (of Jab We Met and Love Aaj Kal fame) with music by the peerless A.R.Rahman.

Ranbir’s Film

Only the dimmest of dimwits would deny that Ranbir Kapoor is the best young actor in India today.

Hey, in our not-so-humble opinion Ranbir makes even a budda like Amitabh Bachchan, with over four decades in the business, look like a bachcha.

Of course, the best part of Rockstar is Ranbir.

The fella rocks.

As the young aspiring musician, the friendly college-student, the pensive lover-boy and ultimately the completely out-of-control Rockstar, Ranbir Kapoor brings life, a ton of life to the film.

If you haven’t heard by now, Ranbir Kapoor plays Janardhan Jakhar, a young Jim Morrison wannabe  deeply passionate about music, gets friendly with the most beautiful girl in the college, falls in love with her, becomes a rockstar and finally (does he get the girl or not?).

When he’s not busy with any of the above, out JJ aka Jordan is engaging in a lot of self-destructive activities.

Weak Links

The movie’s weakest link is director Imtiaz Ali’s less-than-impressive story.

Not only is it hopelessly unconvincing but it drags on in the second half.

You need oodles of ‘suspension of disbelief’ to swallow that a young Muslim girl is gallivanting around on a jazzy motorbike with a guy on her wedding day.

Mercifully, we didn’t get the happy-ending that is de rigueur in Indian films.

Sadly, the recently departed Shammi Kapoor, in what was likely his last film, was wasted because of poor writing by Imtiaz Ali and makes no impact whatsoever.

Music Hype

Now, don’t you schmucks believe all the hype about the music.

It doesn’t rock but Rahman has done more than an adequate job.

We bet there’s not a single Indian among the 1.2 billion desi mosquitoes that’s not listened to Saadda Haq.

For the most part, the picturizations of the songs were decent too.

Hey, What about the Babe?

Ah, now for Rockstar’s heroine Nargis Fakhri.

The girl oozes sex appeal, class and grace, three elements missing in the Priyankas, Kareenas, Aishwaryas, Katrinas, Deepikas etc of Bollywood.

Nargis’ good luck was to jump from riding the E, F or 7 train in Queen’s to heroine in a high-profile Bollywood movie like Rockstar.

Nargis’ bad luck was to be paired opposite an actor of Ranbir Kapoor’s caliber.

Pitted against Ranbir, even Nargis’ best efforts would be found wanting. And it is.

While not as bad as the hideous Bollywood trinity of Kareena Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra and Deepika Padukone,  Nargis Fakhri still has ways to go in the acting department.

But SI has strong confidence that this white desi American babe will do us proud in her next movie. No, Nargis hasn’t promised to go down on us although if she asked we’d ……. 😉

By the way, we found the supporting cast of Kumud Mishra, Piyush Mishra and Shernaz Patel impressive, very impressive. Stellar.

Overall, recommends Rockstar to all ye chutiyas since there’s nothing else to do this weekend.

In any case with the new Hollwood movies, Immortals, Jack and Jill and J.Edgar getting shafted by the critics, all ye NRI chutiyas have little choice.

Go watch Ranbir in Rockstar. The movie is playing in several theaters across America (including at some Regal and AMC halls in the NJ/NY area).

9 Responses to "Rockstar – Fails to Rock but OK by Indian Standards"

  1. Naveen   November 12, 2011 at 2:47 am

    Just returned from watching the BOOOOOOOOOOYAWNNNNINGZzzzzzz….”Immortals”.

    Stupid story, bad acting, clueless direction and well.. I can’t think of a single good thing about it.

    … and what is with this craze for fucking 3D??? It is so irritating. Responds:

    We were tempted to go to the midnight show of Immortals on Thursday because of the Indian names Tarsem Singh & Freida Pinto but decided against it at the last moment after seeing the mostly poor reviews.

    Director Tarsem Singh is supposed to be good at creating stunning visuals. At least, so they say!

  2. vinith   November 12, 2011 at 6:14 am

    Well, an OK rating by SI surely means that the movie will definitely create waves here.

    “and finally (does he get the girl or not?)…… Mercifully, we didn’t get the happy-ending that is de rigueur in Indian films”

    Did you just give away the ending here? Btw, what’s wrong with a happy ending? You seem to despise it. Responds:

    1. No, we haven’t given away the ending, at least not completely.

    It’s a bit more complicated in the movie than what you’d assume from the above words.

    2. You write: Btw, what’s wrong with a happy ending? You seem to despise it.

    Happy endings is one area where art doesn’t imitate life. For the simple reason that happy endings occur seldom in life.

    To see this happy ending nonsense repeated ad nauseum, ad infinitum in one Indian movie after another is nauseating.

    • vinith   November 12, 2011 at 7:01 am

      If that’s the case, then not just Indian movies, countless hollywood and other foreign movies have happy endings too.

      IMO it’s not the happy ending which is a problem.

      It’s the fact that it’s repeated countless times in movie after movie (you can attribute that to the complete lack of imagination of Indian film makers), while Hollywood and other Foreign film makers dish out a variety of movies in different genres. Responds:

      Happy endings in Hollywood/foreign movies are not as ubiquitous as in Bollywood.

      Bollywood’s obsession with happy endings must have something to do with the Indian psyche of masking the distasteful/unpleasant/unhappy aspects of our society or a bizarre refusal to acknowledge the reality staring us in the face.

      Kinda like the Mera Bharat Mahaan/Incredible India balderdash. We all know India is anything but Mahaan or Incredible (except in a negative shithole way) yet we keep repeating that drivel.

      Take love for instance. Most of the personal love stories we’re acquainted with from friends & family are failures. Yet, if you watch an Indian movie you can bet your last nickel that the boy will get the gal in the end.

      • araj   November 13, 2011 at 12:29 pm

        “…….Indian psyche of masking the distasteful/unpleasant/unhappy aspects of our society or a bizarre refusal to acknowledge the reality staring us in the face…”

        Well said.

        I would take a leap here and say that I believe this trait to be deeply genetic.

        But then I may not be alive, much as I like to be, when the science finally gets to the bottom of it (i.e. explaining the true reasons for distinct inequalities among races). The day science does it, it may radically change the human perspective of the past as well as the future…..

  3. vinith   November 12, 2011 at 7:06 am

    Have you seen Identity(2003) or J.Edgar(2011)? IMDB profile of both movies look promising. Don’t know if J.Edgar is releasing here. Responds:

    J.Edgar? We may see it. Not sure.

    Identity? No. Looks interesting. Will watch for sure. Soon.

    Tintin has not released here but looks like it’s already made it to India. Releasing in U.S. on Dec. 21.

    • gandhiji   November 14, 2011 at 9:51 am

      WTF.. why is not released in US yet(apparently American duds are unfamiliar with Tintin).. my Indian FB friends are raving about it and there is no dislike button to hit.

      The IMDB trivia iPhone app rocked while it lasted.. (Enjoyed the iPhone while I was being dragged along in the mall 🙁 ) I am sure I’d kick your lost-in-the-nineties ass in that game, SI.

      • Naveen   November 14, 2011 at 12:36 pm

        I am looking forward to the Tintin movie… read some decent reviews.

    • vinith   November 15, 2011 at 5:39 am

      I’m surprised it didn’t release in the US. It released here on 11 November I guess.

      Thought it was a world-wide release. Btw, I don’t think it’s doing decent business here. There doesn’t seem to be any hype or excitement, which you would normally see when movies like Harry Potter get released. Guess not that many people are familiar with Tintin.

      And I’m also re reading the Tintin comics now. Got the entire collection. 🙂

  4. Naveen   November 14, 2011 at 11:30 am

    Helloo.. anybody home? No posts over the weekend? Everything ok? Responds:

    Im Westen nichts Neues

You must be logged in to post a comment Login