Badrinath Review – Endless Abyss of Nonsense

Jun 102011

Quiz: How many bad guys can Badri (Allu Arjun) single-handedly kill or maim at the Bellary Railway Station with just a sword and without suffering so much as a scratch in the new Telugu film Badrinath?

a) 0
b) 2
c) 4
d) Several Dozen

If you answered from a-c, you’d be grossly wrong but still get credit for retaining a vestige of sanity. Since it’s a Telugu film after all, the correct answer must perforce be d.

Folks, with each new movie, Telugu film star Allu Arjun’s acting gets worse and the plots of his films get further bizarre.

In his latest film Badrinath which premiered in the U.S. Thursday night, Allu Arjun not only, yet again, grossly overacts a la Sivaji Ganesan from an earlier era but the storyline is straight from the loony-bin.

Set in the Hindu holy city of Badrinath in North India, the movie is a mindless Telugu paean to senseless violence (Allu Arjun), asinine romance (Tamanna) and juvenile humor (Brahmanandam).

Trashy as most Telugu films are, one can, if one searches long and hard, spot some redeeming element in the form of acting, music, settings, photography or, if nothing else, seek solace in the scantily-dressed voluptuous heroine.

But Badrinath’s claim to fame is that it comes to the screen shorn of any semblance of artistic merit or any whiff of redeeming elements save that a bunch of wannabe filmmakers had money to burn.

And proceeded to toss Rs 41-crore into the fire if media reports are accurate. Continue reading »

Badrinath First Half – Mindless Garbage

Telugu Movies 2 Responses »

Jun 092011

Badrinath Review – Endless Abyss of Nonsense

By God, Allu Arjun has inflicted more damage on Telugu cinema than anyone else in living memory.

To all those who think Badrinath and Amarnath are merely holy places for Hindus, stop dreaming.

Badrinath, the movie, would have you believe they are fighting grounds or a romping ground for skimpily clad lovers.

All Arjun overacts, as is his practice.

Tamannah is as usual clueless.

The story is silly beyond description.

Allu Arjun aka Badri has been stabbed all over. The girl has been kidnapped in a white SUV.

Not even Lord Badrinath can save us from this kinda garbage.

Thank God for the intermission.

Full review coming soon in a separate post.

100% Love – Silly Beyond Redemption

Telugu Movies No Responses »

May 062011

To describe the new Telugu movie 100% Love (Naga Chaitanya, Tamannaah Bhatia) as a hopelessly silly piece of trash would be to bestow an extravagant compliment on the clumsy grotesquerie.

That in this day and age, 100 plus years into the motion picture business, some Telugu people put out such rank amateur stuff and then dare call such juvenilia a movie is the acme of temerity.

Stupid, Silly, Worthless
We cringed in shame, in disgust at the nonsense transpiring on the screen.

How people can entrust this rank incompetent fella Sukumar with the story and direction of a movie, an onerous responsibility even for talented souls, is an unfathomable mystery to us.

Given the asinine title, aimed doubtless at the 13-22 age group, the movie is not surprisingly a romance.

If you want more, it’s a love story between teenagers Balu Mahindra (Naga Chaitanya) and Mahalakshmi (Tamannaah), who are also cousins. Continue reading »

Nenu Naa Rakshasi Review – God Hates Telugus

Telugu Movies 12 Responses »

Apr 282011

Tis’ true that God hates all Indians.

But God has reserved his most potent fury and venom for the Telugu peoples by depriving them of the gene that appreciates or discerns those beautiful things known as art, class and culture.

If class came and slapped Telugus hard on the face, those crass jackasses wouldn’t recognize it!

And if you want to know how we came to that depressing conclusion, it’s after watching the premiere show of Nenu Naa Rakshasi a short while ago at a theater on the U.S. East Coast.

Asinine Story
Only in a Telugu film would you find the heroine in the end going to prison for 18 months for merely uploading YouTube videos of people committing suicide while her boyfriend, a hired killer with several scalps to his credit/discredit, is gallivanting around town on his bike killing more people. Continue reading »

Amazon Cloud Streaming Service Offers Free Storage of 1,000 Songs

Bollywood, Cloud Computing, Digital Media, Hollywood, Tamil Movies, Telugu Movies No Responses »

Mar 292011

Amazon has rolled out a cloud-based music streaming service ahead of Apple and Google that are also said to be planning similar services.

You can access the songs stored in the Amazon cloud from any PC or Mac via the browser or from an Android-based mobile device.

The service provides 5GB of free space in the cloud, enough for about 1,000 songs.

To get more storage, you’ve got to shell out bucks. For instance, $20 a year gets you 20GB (enough for 4,000 songs), $50 a year for 50GB (10,000 songs) and so on. Purchases of MP3 tracks at Amazon and saved to its Cloud Drive are stored for free and do not count against the storage quota.

Of course, we can’t imagine any of you Indian thieving bastards ever shelling out money to store your stolen music. That’ll be the day hell freezes over.

How Amazon Cloud Streaming Works
First, you have to create an account at Amazon. Since we already had an account we just logged in and got down to business.

When we popped our Ennio Morricone CDs into our CD drive and uploaded the songs it didn’t take long for the transfer from the PC to the cloud drive. Just took about 40 seconds to move 50 songs.

Complications started soon after that.

You see, the tracks in the cloud drive wouldn’t play in our browser despite our trying both Firefox and Internet Explorer. Apparently, the formats of the songs in the CD are not compatible with the Amazon cloud music service. Only MP3 and .m4a (AAC files including Apple iTunes Store purchased songs) formats are currently supported by Amazon.

So in order to find compatible music on our PC, we had to first download the Amazon MP3 Uploader and install it.

After installation, double-click the Amazon MP3 Uploader to find and upload compatible music on your PC. The Upoader looks wide and far into your PC for compatible formats. It ultimately pulled up all the songs from our iTunes folders along with their playlists. You can pick and choose what you want to upload or upload all of them (remember, you pay if it exceeds 5GB).

The 106 songs and five Playlists we uploaded took up 14% of the 5GB free storage.

By the way, the music files are said to be uploaded in their original bit rate.

Once you upload the songs to your Amazon Cloud Drive you can play them on the Cloud Player via the browser. We played a bunch of songs via Firefox 4 browser and the streaming was fine.

You can also create Playlists on the Cloud. In our test, the existing iTunes Playlists transferred over smoothly.

So, now we don’t have to rely on our iPhone or desktops that have iTunes installed. We can now play music from our Asus netbook which doesn’t have the iTunes software on it. All we need is a WiFi connection.

What about Android?
Cloud Player for Android is now bundled into the new version of the Amazon MP3 App. It features the full Amazon MP3 Store and the mobile version of Cloud Player. Customers can use the app to play music stored on their Cloud Drive and music stored locally on their device. Features include the ability to search and browse by artist, album or song, create playlists and download music from Cloud Drive.

A Big Deal?
No, particularly for those of us who rely on iTunes for our music.

With the iPhone and the ability to store iTunes-purchased songs on up to three PCs/Laptops/Macs, very few would really need another backup in the form of a cloud.

Now if you schmucks’ll excuse our glass of gin beckons.

Amazon Woos Budding RGVs, Shankars, Sanjay Leela Bhansalis with Movie Initiative

Bollywood, Entertainment, Foreign Movies, Hollywood, Tamil Movies, Telugu Movies Comments Off

Nov 172010

Whoa, who would’ve thought online retailer Amazon.com would get into the movie-making business.

The Good

Amazon.com today launched a new initiative called Amazon Studios that might help budding filmmakers and script writers break into the intensely competitive and highly lucrative world of the movie business.

Aspiring movie makers or screenwriters, of whom there’s never been a shortage in the world, can submit full length test movies or scripts to Amazon Studios.

Donga, Rowdy, Ramudu & the Bizarre World of Telugu Movie Names

Telugu Movies No Responses »

Sep 202010

If you want to get a sense of a film industry, may we humbly suggest you start with the names of the movies coming out of the region.

Take for instance, Telugu films aka Tollywood.

Made by simians from Andhra Pradesh blissfully unaware of the meaning of the words art, culture or quality, Telugu language movies are outcrassed (not a typo, we mean the neologism outcrassed) only by its neighbor Kollywood.

Even the names of Telugu films are atrocious, repetitive and downright silly, suggesting a total lack of imagination.

Here’s a short list of Ugly Telugu Movie names:

Ranga the Donga
Donga
Dongalaku Donga
Donga Ramudu
Donga Sachinollu
Donga Mogudu
Dongala Dopidi
Donga Police
Donga Pelli
Dongalu Baboi Dongalu
Dongodochhadu
Donga garu Swagatham
Dongala Veta
Dongalaku Saval
Dongallo Dora
Yamadonga Continue reading »

Vedam Review – Second Half Salvages Film

Telugu Movies 10 Responses »

Jun 042010

Thank God for the second half when the tempo picks up considerably from a sedate first half.

Otherwise, Vedam would have been yet another crappy, boring Telugu film unwatchable by humans.

Eschewing the familiar and insane claptrap of asinine youthful romances, Vedam trots down a different path with its five different stories.

Of course, the different stories and their characters intersect at some point, as they must, and here they do in a violent crescendo at the hospital toward the end.

By the way, our repeated prayers to the almighty must have been heard because that irritating clown Brahmanandam, beloved of the Telugu people, only has a itsy-bitsy role in the film.

Here are the five different stories making up Vedam:

* There’s the whore Saroja (Anushka) keen on escaping from her madam and going off on her own.

* We have the cable guy Raju (Allu Arjun) besotted with the rich girl in Jubilee Hills.

* The rock star Vivek (Manoj Manchu) with his dreams of a music-troupe and indifferent to his mother’s hopes that he’ll follow in his late father’s footsteps and join the army.

* Bollywood actor Manoj Bajpai is cast as a Muslim Rahimuddin suspected of harboring terrorist sympathies.

* Finally, there are the desperate weavers who owe money to a local money-lender.

This idea of deploying multiple stories and tying up the strands at the end is hardly a novel idea in movies, be it Hollywood or even in Indian films.

But it sure marks a welcome relief from the familiar Indian drivel of amateur love-stories like Arya 2 or cop-stories like Singam.

We guess much of the credit for straying from the familiar track should go to Radha Krishna Jagarlamudi a.k.a. Krish, the director and writer of Vedam. Continue reading »

Watching Allu Arjun’s Vedam – God, Have Mercy on Our Soul

Telugu Movies 4 Responses »

Jun 032010

Here we are once again in the theater to watch Telugu flop crap star Allu Arjun.

This time for his new film Vedam

Did we not get punished enough with Varudu and Arya 2 that we should go and watch yet another Allu Arjun film.

Wriiten and directed by Radha Krishna Jagarlamudi, Vedam also features that voluptuous babe Anushka Shetty, Manoj Bajpai and Manoj Kumar Manchu.

Music is provided by that plagiarist Keeravani.

Good crowd at the theater.

There must be easily over 125 people at this theater on the East Coast.

God, have mercy on our soul.

Vedam First Half – Boring Shit

Telugu Movies No Responses »

Jun 032010

9.35PM

Intermission time.

Boring shit. Boring.

Five different stories.

They haven’t intersected yet. Presumably, they will now that all the characters are in Hyderabad.

Allu Arjun – nothing extraordinary.

Anushka as the whore Saroja is alright.

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