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Incredible India 66 – Death by Telephone, Slap Tightens Bond, Kill the Girl Child

 Incredible India  No Responses »
Feb 012012
 
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In Incredible India, things happens that would be considered bizarre in other lands but are perfectly normal by our standards.

Here are a few strange normal events in Mera Bharat Mahaan in recent days:

* Slap Tightens Friendship – Just one day after being at the receiving end of an assault from King Khan i.e Shahrukh Khan, Bollywood thief and joker Shirish Kunder is telling the media:

Being the younger, I should have not reacted like this. Our relationship has become stronger like never before.

Guess that’s why Darpok Salman Khan also murdered pavement dwellers in Mumbai while driving drunk. After all, by the weird Bollywood logic greater the injury to the victim tighter the bond.

* Girl Children Meet Maker Sooner – Behind the nice-sounding beti, girls, whether in the womb, as infants, children or adults have a hard time in India. A recent United Nations study has found that not only is female infant mortality higher than that of males but girl child mortality is terrible in India. For every 56 male child deaths, there were 100 female child deaths. The picture for girl children (1-5) in India is worse than in the hellholes of Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Egypt and Iraq. We guess the situation will become so grim that in the not too distant future Indian men will have to marry men or polyandry a la Draupadi style will come into effect.

* Planning a Strike? Think Again – India is a land of many thugs but the biggest thugs are in the government. Bihar’s Health Minister Ashwini Kumar Choubey threatened to cut off the hands of doctors who were planning to go on strike for an increase in their stipend. And you schmucks thought the Taliban was only in Afghanistan. With leaders like Choubey, no wonder Bihar is still in the stone age.

* Made in India? No, Made in Vietnam – The country that prides itself on writing software for the world and answering tech support calls from America can’t even manufacture decent mosquito nets. We are now importing mosquito nets from Vietnam. How long before we start technology transfer from Bangladesh or Nepal?

* Death by Telephone – Bizarre things happen in Mera Bharat Mahaan. Just the other day a young fella Manjunath S Gopal died in Bangalore after touching the landline telephone to answer a call. It seems a high-tension power line had come in contact with the telephone line electrocuting the 20-year-old Manjunath. Only in Incredible India can a landline telephone kill you.

Hey, what’s that noise?

That must be Manjunath’s bereaved family singing that dirge, Mera Bharat Mahaan!

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 7:29 am  Tagged with:

Incredible India 65 – 10+1 Most Pressing Concerns

 Incredible India  16 Responses »
Nov 282011
 
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As a young 64-year-old poor nation with 500-million half-starving souls, India has many concerns, diverse constituencies to address.

But none more pressing or of more importance than the following:

10. Long wait for some cars.

Diesel versions of the Swift hatchback and Dzire sedan from Maruti, Fortuner and Innova from Toyota, XUV500 from Mahindra, Jazz and the Brio hatchbacks from Honda and Hyundai’s Verna sedan are said to be seeing strong demand even in a slowing economy. (Source: Times of India)

9. What, has the crazy Delhi Sardarji Harvinder Singh not slapped anyone today?

Man, life sucks. Totally! Someone, get that turbaned fella moving.

8. Indian batsman Yuvraj Singh’s health is  a national concern (Source: Hindustan Times).

Thank God, Yuvraj has a wonderful Guruji protecting him (really, watch/listen to Yuvraj’s sexy mom).

7. Did Akshay Kumar’s Desi Boyz get a good opening?

6. What a shame we know only one side of tennis flop Sania Mirza. Now, don’t ask which side. ;)

Not to worry, the 25-year-old babe has penned an autobiography – The book is about a side of me that very few people know.

5. Why is iPhone 4S more expensive in India?

Oh well, it starts at just Rs 44,500.

4. Has Ileana D’Cruz replaced Shruti Hassan in Gabbar Singh, the Telugu remake of Dabanng? (Source: Deccan Chronicle)

The nation waits with bated breath for a decisive answer.

3. Tamil Nadu bans Dam 999 film.

Why, oh, why?

2. Kolaveri Views on YouTube just 8 million.

God, when will it reach 10-million?

Folks, now for a very pressing concern:

1. Bollywood (non)actress Anushka Sharma: I have no love life at the moment. In fact, I am completely single and lonely.

Geez, where have all the Indian men gone?

And now for India’s most urgent, vexing, ultimate, life-and-death concern.

Finding a name for Beti B.

Not to worry. The Twit is going through the suggestions of all his Twitterers.

“The suggestions still pour in and still we haven’t managed to finalize a name. Evenings are spent reading out all your suggestions in front.” – Abhishek Bachchan on Twitter. Ha ha ha.

Mera Bharat Mahaan!

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 1:28 am  Tagged with:

Incredible India 62 – Wife’s Blood Makes Him Strong

 General  12 Responses »
Jul 182011
 
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Man, it’s been a month since SI’s last installment of Incredible India, those only in India real-life stories.

Here we go with another episode.

* All these years, we deluded ourselves into believing that the way to get strong is to eat nutritious food and visit the gym regularly.

Hell, what do we know!

SI blog reader Rohit Reddy writes to inform us that in some instances the road to good health and strength is paved with blood in India.

A native of Madhya Pradesh with a yearning to be strong took a different tack to achieve his goal – drinking his wife’s blood regularly.

Bizarre as it may sound, we are not kidding.

Here, read this excerpt from the Times of India:

A 22-year-old woman in Damoh district of Madhya Pradesh has told the police that her husband drank her blood for the past three years. “He used to take a syringe and draw blood from my arms,” Deepa Ahirwar said. “He would then empty it in a glass and drink it. For three years he did this on a regular basis, threatening me of dire consequences if I revealed this to anyone.”

Deepa was married to an agricultural labourer, Mahesh Ahirwar, in Shikarpura village in 2007. A few months after the marriage, Mahesh started drawing blood from his wife’s veins and consuming it. He said it made him strong and did not stop even when Deepa was pregnant.

* We’ve heard of accounts being presented to the government at the end of the financial year.

But at the famous Tirupati temple in South India the officials presents the annual accounts to ‘Lord Venkateswara,’ the presiding deity of the temple every year on July 16 in annual Anivara Asthanam festival.

Weird, these practices of the Hindus.

* In India, being taken to the police station for questioning is full of risk for the suspects, who disappear, are encountered, blinded, raped or just tortured to death, irrespective of the fact that all suspects are innocent until a court declares otherwise.

Fayaz Usmani, a suspect in the recent Mumbai blasts, was taken by the police for questioning on Saturday and before you know it the man’s dead!

Strange, indeed.

The Mumbai Police say they didn’t kill him! ;)

Related Stories:
Man drank wife’s blood for 3 years in Madhya Pradesh
CID probe ordered into death of blasts suspect

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 10:30 am  Tagged with:

Incredible India 61 – Filthy Indian Dickheads Wear Used Condoms; Filthy Rich Babas, Filthy Ganga

 Incredible India  16 Responses »
Jun 172011
 
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Boy, it’s been eons since our last edition of Incredible India, hasn’t it?

As those of us fortunate enough to be familiar with that irritatingly beloved land are well aware, India is host to an incredible array of odd stuff.

Things that you can’t even imagine in other settings happen with monotonous regularity in India.

Here are a bunch of unusual events from Incredible India that we’ve culled from recent editions of newspapers:

* Used Condoms for Indian Dickheads – What happens when there’s a shortage of free condoms in remote Indian villages where prostitution is not uncommon?

Well, if these are remote hamlets in the South Indian state of Karnataka, the condoms are used, washed and re-used, exposing the second users to HIV/AIDS, Herpes and other unwelcome sexually transmitted diseases.

Think we’re joking?

Here’s an excerpt from the Times of India:

Condom scarcity is reportedly forcing sex workers to buy packets of branded condoms for Rs 10-12 each. ”They are used, then washed and dried and offered to gullible clients to be reused,” said D Shankarappa Gonwal, working for an NGO in Koppal district.

* (Un)Holy Ganges – Indians consider the Ganges, or Ganga as it’s popularly known in the country, the holiest of rivers. Millions bathe in it, worship it and take the water back to their homes.

But the Ganges remains one of India’s filthiest, most polluted rivers. It’s been so for decades and, given that the past in India is often a sure indicator of the future, will continue to remain so for several more decades.

A quarter century after the late Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi launched the Ganga Action Plan at the Rajendra Prasad Ghat in Varanasi on June 14, 1986, the river is more polluted than ever before.

As a recent newspaper story points out:

Ganga is more polluted in Varanasi today, especially between its two tributaries, Asi and Varuna, which have also been converted into huge sewage drains.

Much of the pollution in the Ganga is caused by the release of raw sewage directly into the river although there are other causes too.

* Fasting Babas – The other day, one of India’s countless saints, Swami Nigamanand died after a 73-day fast protesting against the pollution of the Ganga by illegal mining and stone crushing on the river’s banks in the Haridwar area. Did anyone even notice Nigamanand’s death?

* Millionaire Babas – India is a poor country but many of its Babas are filthy rich. Baba Ramdev has a huge business empire of over Rs 1,000 crore and the late Sai Baba’s assets were far too vast to even be accurately enumerated. Imagine, 98 kg of gold and jewellery, 307 kg of silver articles and Rs. 11.56 crore in cash were found just in Yajur Mandir (the private chambers of Sai Baba). Source: Hindu

What in God’s name was a Godman doing with 98kg of gold and 307kg of silver in his private rooms?

Only in Mera Bharat Mahaan!

Read more stories on Incredible India here.

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 11:53 pm  Tagged with:

Incredible India 56 – Indian Cops Expand Duties to Penis Surgery

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Oct 282010
 
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Hey, hey, we’re back again with a new edition of Incredible India, those only in India blood-curdling stories.

* It’s no secret that India’s policemen are notoriously corrupt scoundrels, rapists, thieves, encounter specialists a.k.a murderers and big-time crooks.

In the past, some Indian policemen were even known to pour acid into the eyes of arrested youths and then poke a needle in the eye to make sure the victims were blinded (remember the Bhagalpur blindings?).

But some Indian cops have now taken their sadistic acts to a whole new bizarre level.

You see they have gotten into the bobbitizing business. A bunch of criminal cops were recently sentenced to jail by India’s Supreme Court for cutting off the penis of an innocent man with a barber’s razor for allegedly having an affair with the wife of a cop’s relative.

The criminals a.k.a policemen were let off by a lower court.

Here’s an excerpt from an Indian newspaper on the incident:

The brutality of the case, in which cops of the Sadar police station in Rajasthan’s Barmer district chopped off the penis of an innocent man for allegedly being in an illicit relationship with the wife of a cop’s relative, angered the Bench comprising Justices Markandey Katju and T S Thakur. Some uniformed personnel are still suffering from a “colonial mindset”, said the judges, seen to be a reference to the cops’ apparent certainty that they could get away with the savagery.

The main accused, constable Kishore Singh, who is said to have used a barber’s razor to chop off the organ of the victim in 1994, got the maximum punishment — five years in jail and a fine of Rs 50,000. ASI Sumer Dan, who had caught hold of the victim was sentenced to three years in jail and asked to pay a fine of Rs 50,000. SHO Sohan Singh, in whose presence the crime happened inside the police station, was sent to jail for six months and fined Rs 10,000. The fine amount would be paid to the victim as compensation, the SC directed.

Source: SC jails cops for bobbitizing man

Folks, the next time you makes eyes at a pretty girl in India make sure she’s not the wife, sister, daughter or friend of a cop’s relative if you want to keep your dick. Continue reading »

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 2:47 pm  Tagged with:

Incredible India 55 – Cop Raped & Murdered In Cop Station; Two Cops Arrested

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Oct 032010
 
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Even by the bizarre standards of Incredible India, this story is beyond bizarre.

Indian newspapers are atwitter about the rape and murder of a lady police constable Maya Yadav inside the premises of a police station allegedly by two police constables (men, of course).

The disgusting incident is alleged to have happened at the Chechat Police Station, near Kota in the North Indian state of Rajasthan.

The two suspected policemen have been arrested and the Rajasthan government has announced a compensation of about $23,000 to the rape+murdered victim’s family.

Hey, what’s that noise?

Oh, that’s nothing, it’s just the raped and murdered victim’s family singing the dirge Mera Bharat Mahaan.

Source:
Hindustan Times
Times of India

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 Posted by SearchIndia.com at 9:10 am  Tagged with:
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