Jul 282014
Kick US Box Office - Even Alia Bhatt has Bigger Dick than Salman Khan

For all of you who claim Bollywood butcher Salman Khan is a superstar, I have a few questions. * Why has Kick fared worse than the quiz show genius Alia Bhatt’s 2 States (Alia’s third major film)? * Why has Kick come in way lower than Aamir Khan’s Dhoom 3 and Shahrukh Khan’s Chennai Express? * Why has Kick come in significantly lower than Ranveer Singh-Deepika’s Ram Leela? * Why has Kick grossed less than Tollywood nightmare Allu Arjun’s Race Gurram? * Why has Kick fared worse than Tollywood non-actor Nagarjuna’s Manam? If you ask me, Kick has had a […]

Jul 162014
Why You Must Kick Mainstream Media

(Image Courtesy: Times of India) It’s no secret that Bollywood superstar Salman Khan is a drunk-driving murderer who mowed down several poor people sleeping on a Mumbai footpath and then, coward-like, the inhuman swine fled the crime scene without caring to help the dying and wounded. Like a rat, the inebriated Salman Khan scampered away into the darkness despite the plaintive cries of the dying and wounded for help. Salman Khan is also given to assaulting his girlfriends. Like any savage monster, Salman Khan does not restrict his barbarities to humans. It extends to lesser species as well. Salman takes […]

May 062014
Secrets to Salman Khan's Long Life

[Alexander Imich] always ate sparingly, inspired by Eastern mystics who disdain food. “There are some people in India who do not eat,” he said admiringly. – Interview with World’s Oldest Man Alexander Imich, 111, in New York Times Why do some people live long? Why do some people die young? I’m not talking here of death from accidents, murders, wars, suicides, bomb blasts, holocausts, Indian-style encounters, CIA torture or Al Qaeda plane attacks. Au contraire, my interest here is death from old age. In other words, natural death. The New York Times recently interviewed the oldest man on the planet, […]

Jan 272014
Jai Ho Box Office - Deliciously Miserable

Inshallah, Jai Ho will be the beginning of the end for Salman Khan. One of the silliest Bollywood movies in recent times, Jai Ho opened to a lukewarm response in the U.S. Part of the reason could be the lousy weather in the Northeast but I think a more likely reason is that desis in the U.S. are getting sick of the garbage Salman Khan shovels at them with monotonous frequency. For the opening January 24-26, 2014 weekend in the U.S., Jai Ho grossed $840,506 from 195 screens. Average gross per screen for Jai Ho was $4,310, the lowest after […]

Jan 242014

Only in that godforsaken shit-hole a.k.a. India does a real-life murderer, Salman Khan, don the garb of a good Samaritan on the screen (Jai Ho), flex his muscles, feign concern for the weak, and earn endless plaudits from all sections of society. In my lexicon, what Bollywood low-life Salman Khan does on the screen ad nauseum in films like Jai Ho is a dirty trick of the highest order, albeit one that works very well with tasteless, classless, senseless Indian movie fans. If you ask me, Jai Ho is an intolerable piece of trash, and nothing but Salman Khan’s desperate attempt to […]

Jan 162014

Think of an idea to change the world and put it into action. – Writing in chalk on the green board in Trevor’s 7th-grade classroom in the Hollywood film Pay It Forward Bollywood’s murderous thug Salman Khan has gotten out of its pen and is busy promoting its new movie Jai Ho. Directed by Salman’s younger brother Sohail Khan, Jai Ho is scheduled to release on January 24. If history offers us any clues, Jai Ho will be a blockbuster at the Indian box office a la Salman’s previous films Dabang, Dabanng 2 and Ek Tha Tiger. I pray for […]