Last night, we sacrificed ourselves on the altar of the public good by watching Ghajini (Tamil) again.
Badly bruised mentally by the ordeal, fatigued extremely by the torturous experience and filled with resentment over our fate, we emerged from the mishap in utter disbelief that such a thing as Asin also has a place in tinseltown.
How this freak-o-midget with little acting or dancing skills has managed to find a foothold in the movie business is one of life’s little enigmas.
With a four-feet like high frame reminding us that pygmies are not extinct, a hip wide enough to screen a wide-screen movie, a boyish frame more suited for Tantex banians than Victoria’s Secret lingerie, an asinine smile reminiscent of Downs Syndrome infants and dance steps that suggest waddling more than grace, this Asin thing in Ghajini is an inglorious triumph of brobdingnagian ambition over lilliputian talent.
Even if you whine that physical attributes are no more than God’s blessing or curse over which mere mortals have little say, on the things that Asin does control, stuff like acting, dancing or smiling pleasantly this abject Mallu object makes seemingly little effort and stumbles through in a stupor of mediocrity.
From the moment Asin appears in Ghajini via that Rahatulla song till that instant in her apartment when the villain Lakshman (Pradeep Rawat) employs an iron club to dispatch this Lilliput to her maker with thunderous blows to the head, this freak-o-midget tormented us so much that we’re inclined to believe that she hails not from God’s Own Country but Lucifer’s Own Hades.
When Surya proposes to her in the bus after the New Year party, when she agrees to his proposal on the beach with that silly 1 AM, 2 AM, 3 AM monolog, when she hands over Rs 2 lakh to Surya on the street, when she dances like a retard in the four songs, when she hears from the villain that he’s killed two of the girls and dumped them in the sea or when she’s clowning around in that small ad firm, it’s all no more than a sinful performance xeroxed multiple times.
If what Asin does on screen be acting, then we’re Alexander the Great marching toward the Ganges against the wishes of our soldiers.
While prima facie a bloody murder, the slaying of Kalpana (Asin’s character in the movie) was actually an act of delayed euthanasia as far as we (the suffering audience) are concerned.
Never in the annals of motion pictures has a villain (i.e. Lakshman in Ghajini) deployed an iron club to do so much good for so many millions.
Perhaps, it’s only in the Tamil film industry that so little talent is so sure a guarantee of so much success.
If there’re any consolation here at all, it’s that Asin does not plumb the hideous depths that her peers like Nayanthara, Jothika or Trisha effortlessly do. But then few humans can descend to such depths like Jothika in Pachaikili Muthucharam, Nayantara in Aegan or Trisha in Kuruvi.
After watching Asin in Ghajini, all we can say is that Asin will forever linger in our minds as an abbreviation of asingam (horrible or ugly performance).
We shudder to think of the torture that Asin has in store for us in the Hindi version of Ghajini, set for release on Wednesday, December 24.