You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!
O, you hard hearts, you cruel men of Bollywood
Be gone! Be gone!
Run to your houses, fall upon your knees
Pray to the gods to intermit a plague like Kambakkht Ishq
That needs must light on the ingratitude of Akshay Kumar and Kareena Kapoor.
Did the Bard really write that in Julius Caesar? 😉
Folks, Kambakkht Ishq is a sick flick from a bunch of sick f*cks.
It boggles the imagination that there are schmucks in Bollywood so classless as to take a sick Tamil flick by the ridiculous name of Pammal K.Sambandam and remake it in Hindi with the doubly ridiculous title of Kambakkht Ishq.
What a tragedy that in the depraved gullies of Bollywood there are no limits to both nonsense and stupidity.
Seven years after Kamal Haasan and Simran inflicted their unique brand of torture in Pammal K.Sambandam, Akshay Kumar and Kareena Kapoor pick up the knife, plunge it deep into the chest and scoop out the entrails of Bollywood fans whose only sin is to hope for paisa vasool for their ticket money.
Sick Garbage, Zero Story
As we feared, Kambakkht Ishq hews to the Pammal K. Sambandam non-story line of the ego clash between two headstrong single persons – stuntman Viraj (Akshay Kumar) and model and surgeon-in-the-making Simrita (Kareena Kapoor).
Both our protagonists have a low opinion of the other sex, and that is the slender thread on which hangs this whole, odious film.
At periodic intervals, our heroine yells out ‘dog’ to the hero, who dutifully barks back ‘bitch.’
In the interregnum, someone’s calling someone ‘asshole’ or ‘bastard’ or a big-breasted black woman is shoving her hand into Akshay Kumar’s asshole or a ear doctor is screaming that he’s unable to hear.
No sir, we are not joking. Such is the garbage we were subjected to in this unceasing nightmare. And you will too because there’s no story worth speaking of in this worthless piece of trash.
The comedy tracks involving Boman Irani, Kiron Kher et al are awful, disgustingly sophomoric and don’t have much to do with the movie.
Akshay Kumar – Disappoints Again
The King is dead. Long live the King.
Oh, we mean the newly crowned Bollywood king of garbage – Akshay Kumar.
If you thought Akshay Kumar’s Chandni Chowk to China was pathetic, Kambakkht Ishq will leave you numb with horror that a Bollywood star of his stature would involve himself with and contribute to the making of such stinking trash.
Must be obscene greed, what else.
Besides associating himself with this offal, the aging Akshay Kumar never demonstrates any other talent in this movie like great acting or thrilling stunts. Akshay’s acting here is pedestrian and his stunts mediocre.
Sure, there’s all the fire and noise but there are no great pyrotechnicsÂ in the stunts themselves. Nothing we haven’t seen in a thousand Hollywood movies before.
Talk of repaying fans affection with a clenched fist shoved up their bottoms. That’s what Akshay Kumar does to fans stupid enough to shell out $10.50 for this must-not-watch movie.
Kareena Kapoor – Sheer Agony
This Bollywood starlet of Lilliputian stature is a bad-ass actress of Brobdingnagian proportions.
Bereft of the remotest trace of any talent, this anorexic weirdo thrives in Bollywood solely on the borrowed fame of being Raj Kapoor’s granddaughter. Thank god, the old-man died before such apparitions like Kareena could foul up the silver screen.
The lady can’t emote in the least bit.
In every single key scene that she features in, be it while trying to halt a marriage in church or after realizing that she’s left her watch in a patient’s abdomen, or when she’s abused as an ‘uptight little bitch’ or when she’s going through the motions of dancing, Kareena Kapoor is an ugly eyesore. And nowhere uglier than in the final confrontation with Akshay on the eve of his marriage.
By the way, did we tell you that Kareena is one of the most graceless, hideous dancers in Bollywood?
Worse, this freakshow looks like a doped out slut in a bikini. Sick!
Sylvester Stallone & Denise Richards
At first, we were supposed to get excited with filming in foreign locales.
Well, that became passe three decades ago.
Having belately realized that phoren scenes are just not impressing the hoi polloi anymore, the Bollywood numbskulls have now taken a giant moronic leap: hiring a bunch of yesteryear Hollywood buffoons to show up for a few minutes.
Are we supposed to go weak in the knees over the presence of two over-the-hill, past their prime, aging Hollywood non-actors like Sylvester Stallone and Denise Richards.
Sajid Nadiadwalla, try a better trick next time.
You call this Music?
We found neither the music nor the accompanying dances in Kambakkht Ishq of any entertainment value.
Bizarre foot-stomping and mindless gyrations substitutes for dance here. Whatever happened to that thing called grace.
Om Mangalam song-dance was the ugliest dance featuring some of the prettiest girls that we’ve seen in recent memory.
As for the agony that Kareena inflicts in Bebo, mein bebo, if that abomination qualifies as a dance then WMD was indeed found in Iraq, Bush was a genius, McCain is now our President and we are not living through a depression here in the U.S.
Overall, Kambakkht Ishq is a hellish follow-on to Akshay’s previous movies Chandni Chowk to China and 8×10 Tasveer.
Folks, Kambakkht Ishq is a depressingly disgusting movie that’s most certainly not worth watching.
From the opening frame to the last, we looked in vain for some high notes but all we encountered was low trash.
In these hard economic times, do not squander your hard-earned money on insufferable trash like Kambakkht Ishq.
Spend your money and time wisely by showing Kambakkht Ishq the middle finger.