Muslim Heroes Thriving, Hindu Zeroes Dying in Bollywood

Here’s one of the biggest conundrums for all ye schmucks.

Why is it in Hindu majority India it’s the Muslim heroes in Bollywood who walk away with all the glory, a lot of the moolah and most of the box office successes while Hindu heroes increasingly turn into zeroes.

Movie after movie featuring Hindu heroes sink without a trace while films starring Muslims often tend to do spectacularly well.

Khan Troika

As all but the dimwitted know, the three biggest Hindi film stars in India today are Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan and Aamir Khan.

All of them Muslims.

Two of them (Salman and Aamir) came from within the industry while Shahrukh was an outsider.

The three Khans are responsible for three of the biggest hits in the last couple of years – My Name is Khan, Dabbang and 3 Idiots respectively.

Now take the Hindu stars of Bollywood – Akshay Kumar, Hrithik Roshan, Abhishek Bachchan, Ajay Devgan and Ranbhir Kapoor (we exclude Sanjay Dutt and Shahid Kapoor because of their mixed parentage).

With the exception of Akshay, the others have deep roots in the film industry like Salman and Aamir.

Of the five Hindu stars, Abhishek Bachchan is a cartoon and Ajay Devgan appeals only to a small section of loyalists.

Ranbhir Kapoor has potential and could yet break the current Hindu jinx but he’s not in the big league yet.

That leaves only Akshay Kumar and Hrithik Roshan as the current contenders and challengers to the Khan hegemony over Bollywood.

In our analysis, Akshay Kumar’s raison d’etre is to inflict the maximum pain on moviegoers with stolen shit like Tees Maar Khan or unwatchable trash like Action Replayy, Patiala House, De Dana Dan, Blue, Kambakkht Ishq et al.

Housefull, Akshay’s sole saving grace in recent years, was directed by Sajid Khan, a Muslim.

Hrithik Roshan’s Kites with its Mexican heroine was not in sync with the Indian moviegoers’ ethos while his Guzaarish didn’t find favor with the audience either.

Of course, you dumkopfs would be right in saying that the Khans’ movies are no great works of art either.

To be sure, we didn’t like My Name is Khan, 3 Idiots or for that matter Dabanng even one bit.

So if the movies of the Muslim heroes are also no great shakes, what then accounts for success and superstar status of Muslim stars in Bollywood while Hindu heroes increasingly draw a blank?

Since there are no definitive research studies on the subject, here are a few hypotheses why Hindu heroes are increasingly finding themselves emasculated in Bollywood:

* Muslims turn up to watch the films of Muslim actors in large numbers but give the cold shoulder to movies featuring Hindu stars. This is a highly plausible explanation considering Muslims have a higher identification with their religion than Hindus have to their religion.

* Muslim stars do a better job of marketing themselves to their fans through various gimmickry, be it through accidents that kill sleeping footpath dwellers, throwing a tantrum at the airport entry-points or shaving their head.

* Muslim stars have an edge in the Bollywood loving Middle East, Pakistan and Bangladesh where the Muslim population vastly outnumbers those of other faiths.

* Muslim heroes are better at manipulating mass media (including new media like blogs) than their Hindu counterparts. When we did a critical box office report on Salman Khan’s Wanted, there was quick response by way of comments on SI. Au contraire, Akshay Kumar or Abhishek Bachchan would probably be scratching their cojones wondering what went wrong.

* Muslim underworld in Mumbai, Pakistan and Middle East could be throwing their weight behind films featuring Muslim heroes.

* Muslim stars are more popular with Hindus than Hindu heroes.

* Muslim heroes are overall smarter in script selection, choice of directors and heroines.

* Muslim men like to watch their Muslim heroes romance and paw and generally man-handle the skimpily-clad fair Hindu girls. By the way, there are no Muslim heroines in the top or even bottom rungs.

* Muslim stars are deprepuced (take that neologism, schmucks) while their Hindu peers still strut around in their prepuced state. Do you think that could play a role in success of Muslim heroes?

21 Responses to "Muslim Heroes Thriving, Hindu Zeroes Dying in Bollywood"

  1. rama dasa   February 14, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    speaking of islam… not a big fan of islam or sufism…..but this is a good kirtan!its dedicated to jhoole lal who is worshiped by some crazed hindus for some reason(he saved some hindus from converting to islam when he was alive,hence people consider him an incarnation of varundevji) Responds:

    You write: speaking of islam… not a big fan of islam or sufism….

    Surprise, surprise! πŸ˜‰

    Your Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan YouTube video playing in background.

    BTW, Nusrat’s nephew Rahat Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan was arrested a couple of days back in India.

    • Naveen   April 14, 2014 at 11:22 pm

      The song in the video reminds me of Responds:

      You write: The song in the video reminds me of

      Picturization of the older song (1994) was more crude and more sluttish by orders of magnitude!

      If I remember right, your song (video link) was a huge hit in the 1990s!

      BTW, how you doin Sweetie? πŸ™‚

      • Naveen   April 16, 2014 at 12:00 am

        Oh yes! it was a massive hit!

        I am doing fine. It has been quite crazy last few months. I miss doing the occasional SI reviews.

        I acrually started penning the review of Vrindavan restaurant ( when I was in India but never finished it.

        • Dr.Logu   April 16, 2014 at 11:26 am

          Yup it was a massive massive hit, If i remember right, I was in my sixth standard when this song came out
          I was pretty much addicted to it those days that normally reclusive me, jumped into dancing in one of our annual day functions….

          BTW, how are you SI??


          Hello Sweetie! Howdy!

          All’s well here in NSA oops I meant USA! πŸ˜‰

          Telugu biddas here are keeping me entertained with their diverse crimes!

          BTW, what’s the buzz on Kochadaiiyaan? Are people standing in line already? πŸ˜‰

  2. Naveen   February 14, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    I believe it is more like a cycle. When the 3 Khans were bachchas the main stars were Amitabh, Anil Kapoor, Sunny Deol, Mithun, Govinda and so on. Talking of Muslim actresses did you know that the leading yesteryears actress Madhubala was a muslim with a Hindu name? πŸ™‚

    Stolen stuff.. i was randomly listening to songs in youtube and stumbled upon a tune that may have “inspired” the famous song Yeh Shaam Mastani –

    Original –

    I am almost convinced but… what do your think?

    I think this tune also came in Kill Bill or Inglourious Basterds. Responds:

    1. Third song in the Inglourious Basterds album (purchased on 40% coupon at the going-bankrupt-soon Border’s πŸ˜‰ Credited to Nick Perito). Green Leaves of Summer is, of course, a classic.

    The beginning is similar but we can give the Bollywood folks the benefit of doubt here.

    BTW, Yeh Shaam Mastani is one of our favorites.

    2. Was unaware of Madhubala being a Muslim. Only knew about Nargis (easy guess with the name).

    3. You write: I believe it is more like a cycle.

    Sometimes a cycle becomes irreversible at a point.

    • Naveen   February 14, 2011 at 6:34 pm

      It is one of my all time favorites too but… feeling somewhat short changed πŸ™

      By the way, the compositions of John Williams, Ennio Morricone, Henry Mancini and all should make our “Mozart of Madras”, “Mastero” and co hang their heads in shame. πŸ™ Responds:

      We’re great fans of Ennio Morricone here.

      Strongly recommend his 50 Movie Theme Hits (3-CDs). Search for Morricone on the SI blog. You’ll find several references.

      Listening to Morricone’s Il Trio Infernale as we type this response.

      In re Mancini, we have his popular Baby Elephant Walk track (from the John Wayne movie Hatari).

      Compared to Morricone, Rahman is a podi payan (kid).

      • Twig   February 15, 2011 at 10:08 pm

        “By the way, the compositions of John Williams, Ennio Morricone, Henry Mancini and all should make our β€œMozart of Madras”, β€œMastero” and co hang their heads in shame.”

        This is comment of extremely bad taste as bad as saying “Naveen should hang his head in shame if he
        compares his life to an avg American or avg Liechtensteiner or an avg Japanese”. Responds:

        We think your comment is funny but Naveen likely has a different view on it. πŸ˜‰

        • Naveen   February 16, 2011 at 2:58 am

          Twig – I am tempted to come up with a retort and extend this topic into a 1 on 1 debate that will end without agreement. It is also tempting to take it as a personal insult and respond with an intent to get even but I will try my best not to stoop to that.

          Instead I prefer to analyze your comment. There are certain aspects of life where if I compare my life to the life of average American I think I will fall short. In those instances I do feel inadequate (“Hang my head in shame”). It is what it is and I don’t have any qualms in admitting it.

          β€œMozart of Madras” & β€œMastero” are ofcourse good and I thoroughly enjoy a lot of their songs. It is just that I don’t find them in the same league as some of the other names I mentioned. This is my personal view and I am not looking for acceptance or agreement.

          One small request, do not take words in the literal sense. I used “hang their heads in shame” is a relative mode. “The recent performance of the England team in the Ashes in Australia should make the ICC World No. 1 team India hang their heads in shame because they have never been able to beat Australia in Australia in the history of the game.” – While this statement is belittling India’s #1 ranking, it does not say that the Indian team is bad.

          I will probably see the funny side of the comment after a few days. πŸ˜‰

          • Twig   February 16, 2011 at 4:53 pm

            Hello Naveen, obviously that was not a personal insult. I specifically said “bad”.

            “One small request, do not take words in the literal sense”

            so, should I not take this is in literal sense?


            Cute. πŸ˜‰

            Are you in one of your Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker moments?

        • boopalanj   April 15, 2014 at 3:04 am

          Speaking of maestros,

          Does it ring any bells? Chances are that you already knew about it.


          IR’s Endha Poovilum Vasam????

          • boopalanj   April 15, 2014 at 7:56 am

            Yes, originally composed by Antonio Ruiz Pipo.

  3. rama dasa   February 14, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    just read the article on wikepedia,seems like just a misunderstanding with the cash,nothing really worth getting detained for,i just love how the article quotes Sharat Sabarwal”no official should MISBEHAVE with Rahat during interrogation”

    i wonder what he meant by that…..lets just hope this doesnt lead to another war with pakistan

    • Naveen   February 14, 2011 at 6:38 pm

      Simplistic point of view… Pakistan can attack India at will because they are a rogue nation. India cannot attack them because some US forces are located in Pak and India cannot afford to get in the wrong side of US, Paks have more nukes than us and they have the will to use them if needed and ofcourse we cannot afford to violate China’s modesty. The Indian government lacks the will even to roll over and die if that was the last thing on earth for them to do. Sadly, India was, is and will always be afraid of Pakistan. Responds:

      Both India & Pak possessing nuclear weapons is a big positive in the sense of MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) doctrine.

      A big curb on adventurist policies by both sides.

      • rama dasa   February 15, 2011 at 5:02 pm

        just an FYI Richard Nixon supported Pak during the ’71 war,whats funny is that pak thought the best way to repay us was to send a bunch of wacko’s to try and blow up NYC!!(remember last may)?? Responds:

        U.S. policy historically has tended toward supporting Pak largely because of India’s closeness to the erstwhile Soviet Union.

  4. sam   February 14, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    Even after getting all love and money from public, some of them like Emraan Haashmi cry that they are being discriminated coz of being Muslim. If Hindus are cowards, they are bigger ones.

    Offtopic, Saw a malayalam movie called Cocktail yesterday. It was fantastic. Afer seeing, found out that it was a remake of an English film called Butterfly starring Pierce Brosnan. Did you see the English film? Responds:

    Yes, we watched Butterfly on a Wheel a couple of years back.

    Also saw the ugly Hindi version Kidnap as well – Thieving Bollywood Scumbags Strike Again with Kidnap

  5. Twig   February 15, 2011 at 10:34 pm

    I find no problem if every actor is only Muslim and performs his art well.
    Of course I have problem with all the “Insha allah” SRK types!
    Please assho*es, keep religion out of the public life. Responds:

    You write: I have problem with all the “Insha allah” SRK types! Please assho*es, keep religion out of the public life.

    You might have better luck if you asked for the moon to shine during the day or Abhishek Bachchan to display some sign of acting talent.

    BTW, the much hailed recent Tamil movie Mynaa had the director expressing his gratitude to Jesus in no uncertain terms at the beginning or end during the credits.

    How the virgin’s son helped the gory movie, we’re still having difficulty comprehending.

    • bollyqueen   December 3, 2013 at 9:38 am

      Why so much anger? SRK is at least telling you that he is Muslim unlike some of actors and actresses. And plus its his choice whether to make his religion public or not. No offense, but you have no f***ing right to curse at him. Responds:

      Since when did you become my editor. πŸ™

  6. bollyqueen   December 3, 2013 at 9:35 am

    I think that this is true, but partly because I am Muslim. Really, I watch Hindi movies with Hrithik Roshan, Akshay Kumar, and etc. I don’t watch certain movies by only Muslims? Why do you say that? I strongly disagree with this part on the article. But anyway this was a good article in all.

  7. Vinith   April 14, 2014 at 6:19 pm


    Mumbai Police official upload by Asianet.

    You can watch it when you have time. But I don’t think it has English subtitles. Responds:

    Thank You, Sweetie!

    I shall definitely watch it. Soon.

    But I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to follow since my familiarity with Malayalam is less than my knowledge of Deutsch! πŸ˜‰

    • Vinith   April 14, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      btw, if you’re planning to watch it, don’t read the description. It contains a spoiler. Responds:

      I read the first sentence in Wiki about the accident and loss of memory.

      Stopped at that!

      Love Prithviraj Sukumaran…seen him in a couple of Tamil films – Sathum Podaathay, Mozhi ….

  8. Vinith   April 14, 2014 at 6:22 pm

    You can also listen to this song composed by Ilayaraja.

    The dancing is horrible though, but it’s very little.

    The boy hallucinates about his mother, who died in an accident leaving him an orphan. Responds:

    Ah, Malayalam movies discovered the Selfie (at 2:54), long before Ellen! πŸ˜‰

    The music is pleasing but not extraordinary.


    Here’s one of my current favorites, from the 1920s:

    Jimmie Noone – Blues My Naughty Sweetie Gives To Me

    Sober or high, I love the above classic!

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