Now, will y’all please join us in wishing Karan Johar a blessed life in his new sex.
After watching the new Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, we were so happy to learn that Karan Johar finally took the sex change plunge, followed up with a name-change and turned into lil’ Zoya Akhtar.
Only Indians, No Bharatvasis
Now, if you schmucks are scratching your Parachute-oiled bald pates wondering how on earth we landed this Karan-turns-into-Zoya scoop, didn’t we tell you at the outset that we watched Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara or, in DDLJ ishtyle shortened to ZNMD.
All those young and pretty Indian and foreign faces, rich NRIs talking of Ferraris, three-bedroom apartments in London, flying business-class, exotic beaches, a long Bachelor party before marriage, architects working on big hotel projects, 12,000-Euro ‘Bagwati’ bags, diamond rings, staying in fancy hotels, running with the bulls in San Fermin, sky-diving in blue skies, snorkeling in blue waters, a long road-trip in Spain with wild horses galloping alongside sometimes, voila all things beeeyootiful.
Thank God, none of those ugly messy Bharatvasis appear anywhere in the frame. No slums, No crowded Mumbai trains, None of that grime and dirt reminding us of Bharat anywhere!
Who but Karan Johar can fit ‘India’ so neatly into the frame while mercilessly excising ‘Bharat’ out of the nice, feel-good images of Shining India.
Thank You Karan oops Zoya.
Slick Road Trip
Make no mistake.
As Indians, and NRIs of long-standing, we can’t and most definitely won’t complain about Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.
No, not from us one pip-squeak of protest, Karan beti.
Hey, why should we?
After all, Karan Johar oops Zoya Akhtar has accomplished a lot in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara – provided us with some breathtaking shots of Spain where silence reigns supreme, the girls look radiant (even if their chests are smaller than we’d like), the men flaunt their chests, the Flamenco dancers capture our imagination and even the NRI painter Salman Habib (Naseeruddin Shah) looks sufficiently Bohemian or M.F.Hussainesque, if you please.
To make sure we don’t get bored with the boxy SUV, the roomy car in the beginning of the road trip soon makes way for the cramped blue convertible.
Blue skies, Blue waters, Blue convertible, who can complain?
Hell, what’s left to complain!
As all of you with the almighty power of the mouse-click in your hands have probably read or heard by now, ZNMD is about three friends Kabir (Abhay Deol), Arjun (Hrithik Roshan) and Imran (Farhan Akhtar) embarking on a long road-trip through Spain.
The trip is not merely an opportunity for the three friends living in different cities to re-bond together, but also conquer their fears and, above all, learn to Carpe Diem.
Wow, so much accomplished on such small roads in a small car in a short time.
It’s to Zoya Akhtar’s credit that she does a neat, slick job within the ‘Indian” framework she was born into and with which she’s most comfortable.
The cool cats Abhay Deol, Hrithik Roshan and Farhan Akhtar do a more than acceptable job in the acting department, even when they’re flinging tomatoes or pretending to run from the bulls.
Of course, there are a few members of the distaff sex around. They come in the form of Katrina Kaif, Kalki Koechlin and the Spanish babe Ariadna Cabrol. But this being Bollywood the gals are kind of extras, since the camera is mostly focused on one or the other guys.
With Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara sure to grab the attention of all those ‘Indians’ (screw the Bharatvasis) everywhere and keep the box office gods happy this weekend, all we need to do now is look for a nice little boy for our Karan oops Zoya beti.
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, ha na? 😉
ZNMD 2nd Wknd BO – Better Than Singham 1st Wknd
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Strikes Gold at U.S. BO
i dont get the sex change thing? Karan is still a male or at least he says he is…
Hmmm….Karan Johar often makes ‘Indian’ movies focusing on NRIs, set in foreign locales and featuring wealthy pretty people without any of the messy poor Bharat creeping into them.
Karan’s movies have as much connection to the real, majority India as George W.Bush had to the concept of IQ.
Ditto with Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.
As for your point that Karan is still a male, well, that is your opinion. 😉
I’ve noticed most Bollywood movies are set in the west or just about anywhere but India!: blue, kismat connection, race, de dana dud (yes that’s what it is and yes i read your review of it)
Trailer of the movie Don 2, which is releasing this Christmas. This one seems to be slicker than the previous one but it’s too early to say anything.
Even Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol is releasing this December. Just can’t wait. I loved the previous ones.
1. We saw the Don 2 trailer in the theater yesterday when we went to watch Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.
We did not think the trailer was a big deal.
2. Hey, Anil Kapoor is there in Mission Impossible 4.
I’ve fallen sick after watching Final destination 5 trailer when I went to watch Hangover 2.
We saw this trailer when we went to see Horrible Bosses.
speaking of movies,i will be seeing the new HP movie tomorrow,will let you know how it is.i just hope i dont have to stand in line for several hours like i did last time when part 1 came out…..
We purchased the tickets for HP on Tuesday for the midnight show on Thursday but returned it to watch Deiva Thirumagan. How dumb can some people be! 🙁
I’ll let you know if it was the right decision on your part when I get back from the theater tomorrow evening.
I wish they would screen bolly or kolly movies where i live,the only time i get to see them is on youtube or some other site that shows them free of charge (no it’s NOT piracy if they don’t have subtitles or if it’s just plain horrible)
“We purchased the tickets for HP on Tuesday for the midnight show on Thursday but returned it to watch Deiva Thirumagan”
You knew perfectly well that Deiva Thirumagal is a copy of I am Sam. I certainly think you would have found HP better than DT.
Btw, if my memory is right, I think you once promised that you would never watch the Harry Potter movies or read the HP books 😉
Oh, did we?
Yes, I remember you once answering a question – ‘have you watched Harry potter?’ – ‘No, we have not seen any hari puttar.’ or so.
That was on 2010/05/27 before we watched our first Hari Puttar film – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 1 Review – Some Magic but Only for the Faithful.
“We did not think the trailer was a big deal.”
Not surprising as you’ve probably seen dozens of similar stuff in Hollywood. I was talking with Bollywood standards in mind. The nitwits for the most part cannot make decent movies but atleast they do make good action scenes, maybe not as good as hollywood movies because they neither have the money and technology nor the creativity that hollywood has. But going by the trailer, Don 2 appears to be slick. Atleast I appreciate bollywood for this. They try to make good action scenes but our kollywood clowns are sticking to the same old beaten-to-death formula of one hero beating up dozens of goons with not even a scratch on him.
“Hey, Anil Kapoor is there in Mission Impossible 4.”
Yeah, I’m aware of that. But he doesn’t appear in the trailer. Too bad.
Btw, there was a program on TV today, with Deiva Thirumagal cast and crew, in which the public can call and share their views. The cast and crew present were the thief Vijay (the director), Vikram, the cute girl Sara and the compere.
One caller told the thieving director that he did a 100% very good job in copying I am Sam. The thieving swine was shocked for a moment before he replied “I adapted only the characterization”. The look on his face was hilarious. I guess he never expected that.
You write: One caller told the thieving director that he did a 100% very good job in copying I am Sam. The thieving swine was shocked for a moment before he replied “I adapted only the characterization”. The look on his face was hilarious. I guess he never expected that.
Bet Deiva Thirumagal won’t be the last piece of theft in Indian cinema.
BTW, can anyone tell us if any of actor Vijay’s films are stolen shit?
Vijay’s films (Kuruvi, Villu, Sura, Vettaikaran etc) are all so bad that it’s hard to believe they are stolen! 😉
Vijay’s films – Please give some credit to our filmmakers! They are capable to write scripts such as Kuruvi, Sura etc. 🙂
MI4 has scenes shot in the IMAX format. I think this is the first movie after The Dark Knight to use the IMAX format. I dread watching Anil Kapoor in such a big screen 😀
A long way to December 16, 2011.
Off-topic: We got Simbhu’s Manmathan from Netflix. Will start watching in a little while.
Manmathan – Another mind numbing file.
Enjoy Thiru STR’s longish kiss. He is supposed to have ghost directed that movie. If that is true then not a bad start by Tamil film standards.
Besides Manmathan (2004), Netflix has the following Simbhu movies: Saravana (2006), Kovil (2004), Kuthu (2004), Dum (2003) and Kadhal Azhivathilai (2003).
Now you know why it’s hard to cut the NFLX chord.
What are your favorite (if any) Koundamani Sendhil comedy scenes?
1. No favorites vis-a-vis Koundamani Sendhil because we’re more into Vadivelu.
One of our Vadivelu favorites:
Enna Venum – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn46OHmHyrk
2. But just Googled and found a few Koundamani Sendhil videos as well…Nothing extraordinary, though:
Goundamani, Senthil compete to engage Vadivelu’s sister
How to be a Mechanic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBSE-XVbFIM
think, you’ll like this one..
got all your westerns..
Aaaah, another animation! 🙁
Watched the trailer. Not bad.
Thought you may like it (understand it) even better, with your love for westerns.
Just got back from the movies, a word on the new HP flick:
1. Harry pothead (get it?) character “crab” (the short fat white british kid from the first 6 films who was fired and currently serving jail time for smoking pot) was replaced by a tall think black kid who had absolutely no lines whatsoever.
2. While i thought the movie was worth seeing it is NOT worth buying on dvd unless of course you are obsessed with HP
3. The final scene at the end showed the same actors/actresses only they were made to look 19 years older, I’m saying the producers were too cheap to hire more actors/actresses to play the grown up characters
4. Severus snape is barely in the film until the last half wheras the book he’s the main villian next to LV(lord voldemort)
The first half was boring as hell but the second half was not too bad,the fight scene took up an hour of the movie and was really well made, better than anticipated
Well, you’ve contributed your $12 to the below statistic.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 Box Office Domestic Total as of Jul. 17, 2011: $168,550,000 (Estimate)
Source – http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=harrypotter72.htm
@Rama Dasa The final scene at the end showed the same actors/actresses only they were made to look 19 years older Wondering if the make-up was as good as it was in Dasavatharam.
Wonder #2: What is yet-another-brainy actress Emma doing in Brown U. instead of Cambridge or Oxford. mid-post Update: Just learned that she is transferring back to Oxford.
1. Our respect for Ivy League/Oxbridge has diminished given that George W.Bush & Barack Obama (under affirmative action program a.k.a. Reservations) also graduated from Harvard.
2. Just discovered that SI has something in common with Emma.
We too like Johnny Depp and Julia Roberts.
Let the speculations begin..
Mine: SI’s birthday: 15 April 1990
Ours: 18 July, 1993.
As they say on the porn sites, Just Legal. 😉
oh oops.. I thought you left it open-ended.. and hence I “guessed” you shared your bday with Emma
I didn’t read the line that says you like Depp and Roberts. (Too excited to figure out the secret, I guess..) I am guessing that 50% of the world that likes those two and the other 50% wouldn’t have watched their movies. They are adorable stars.
More on westerns.. how about ‘Seven Samurai’ remade as ‘Magnificent Seven’ the inspiration to ‘Sholay’
Will do, definitely!
incredible india eh? http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Man-drank-wifes-blood-for-3-years-in-Madhya-Pradesh/articleshow/9264734.cms
Incredible India 62 – Wife’s Blood Makes Him Strong
This is amazing and its 2 years old
Will watch and update this comment.
Oh come on, comparing Zoya and Karan Johar is like comparing Joel schumacher with Michael Bay.
Karan Johar movies are regurgitation of same old crap, which I doubt ZNMD is. Great cast, good actors, fine music, and Spain! Not much to complain imho, loved it despite some quibbles.
Have you seen Luck By Chance? You should imho.
1. You write: Oh come on, comparing Zoya and Karan Johar is like comparing Joel schumacher with Michael Bay.
As we wrote above, Karan and Zoya are similar in that they both get Bharat off the screen completely.
Only the illusion of Shining India makes it into their frames.
Look at ZNMD, all nice-looking people speaking fine English, with tons of money, pricey accessories, vacationing in Spain, snorkeling, sky-diving….just the kind of stuff Karan would have you believe is a microcosm of India.
2. No, we haven’t seen Luck By Chance. We’ve just added it to our Netflix queue.
have u seen x-men first class movie?
“Look at ZNMD, all nice-looking people speaking fine English, with tons of money, pricey accessories, vacationing in Spain, snorkeling, sky-diving….just the kind of stuff Karan would have you believe is a microcosm of India.”
The difference is, KJO sells his old saas-bahu serial stuff in each of his movies. Family, drama, romance blah blah rona-dhona.. There’s nothing more to it.
And there’s no skydiving etc in KJo movies, to be pedantic 😛 Zoya’s made Luck By Chance, which is set in Mumbai, and ZNMD set in Spain.
You could accuse the same things of DCH too, I guess. You wont go so far to call it a Karan Johar movie, would you now? That’s what I meant by that Joel-Bay analogy, nothing more. 🙂
LBC’s damn good, you should give it a try.
We’ll get Luck By Chance in the next three or four days & review it on SI.
Oh, forgot to ask, how’d you find the music? I personally loved Senorita and Khaabon Ke Parinday.
Well, let’s just say that they’re not likely to find a place on our iPhone alongside the classics.
@ SI – Kaavalan is a remake of the film – Bodyguard which was released in Malayalam in 2010. but the same director Siddique is directing Kaavalan!!
i also heard that Pokiri is a make of some telugu film where Chiranjeevi was the hero, though not sure which film!!
Not sure about many other Vijay films & as you said, nobody can copy films from some other industry like Sura, Villu, Kuruvi & other disasters 😉
We’re talking about the upcoming Hindi Bodyguard featuring the Bollywood murderer.