Do you think I’m a bitch, a tart?….You must be thinking I’m a slut?
– Katrina Kaif’s character Dimple Dixit to Imran Khan’s Kush Agnihotri in Meri Brother Ki Dulhan
Does the Sun Rise in the East? Is Barack Obama Black? Is Manmohan Singh a poodle? Does Salman Khan like to drive over people? Did Anna Hazare just score a big victory over the Lok Pal bill?
Whaddayathink, folks? 😉
Folks, Mere Brother Ki Dulhan (from Yash Raj’s stinking Augean stable of horror-shows) offers incontrovertible proof, as if any more were really needed, that Hindi movies are made by desi asses exclusively for desi chimps slipping down the ladder of evolution.
An utterly charmless and silly movie featuring two half-wits Katrina Kaif and Imran Khan, the movie bored the hell out of us for all of its 2-hour and 20-minute running time.
In fact, Meri Brother Ki Dulhan can best be described by borrowing a line from the movie itself:
You Indians are classless and cheap.
– Piyali to Luv in the opening moments of the film
Cancel Katrina’s Indian Visa
Can somebody please tell Katrina Kaif that shrieking like a sloshed ape, flaunting her bare thighs like a Dadar strumpet struggling to pay her back rent, rolling her eyes mindlessly and generally behaving like a jackass does not qualify one to be called an actress.
Not in the Method School of acting, not in the Sanford Meisner School of acting, hell, not even in Subash Ghai’s Whistling Woods School of acting in Mumbai.
After breaking up with his long-term NRI girlfriend Piyali Patel (the hopeless Tara D’Souza), London-based executive Luv Agnihotri (Pakistani actor Ali Zafar) calls up his brother Kush (Imran Khan) in India and asks him to find him a bride. Since the brothers’ tastes run along similar lines, Luv assures Kush that he’s confident his younger brother will find him the right girl.
The rest of this silly movie plods through how Kush indeed finds the right girl Dimple (Katrina Kaif), then falls in love with her and ultimately marries her while Luv aka Bhaisaab ties the knot with his erstwhile girlfriend Piyali.
If you think the movie is rubbish based on the above two paragraphs, what happens between the two paragraphs, i.e. between Luv’s phone call to Kush at the beginning and the two marriages at the end, is a mindless, tiresome yawn interrupted every now and then with a stupid, wobbly scooter ride or a torturous song and a dance.
The sloppily written, poorly enacted romcom yields little joy as it hopscotches from one silly scene to another toward a happy ending, which for the bored viewer means rushing from the theater to the nearest bar to seek relief in the welcoming bathycolpian bosom of the pretty bartender and Bacchus.
The Marquis de Sade behind this satanic piece of boring shit aka Mere Brother Ki Dulhan is a three-name twit called Ali Abbas Zafar, who takes (dis)credit for the four traumas of story, screenplay, dialog and direction.
If you’re tempted to seek solace in music or dance, be warned there’s none. Clumsy grotesquerie at best with Katrina moving her legs as if she has you-know-what-cramps.
With his limited acting skills, Imran Khan does nothing to distinguish himself.
One of the rare tolerable elements of this tripe is the Pakistani actor Ali Zafar, who plays older brother Luv. While Ali Zafar is no Al Pacino or Robert Redford, he at least shows some sparks of acting talent, which is more than can be said of his dimwit co-stars.
SearchIndia.com has long recommended to Yash Chopra that he quit the movie business and settle down to selling Jalebis in Agra. But as with most humans, good advice falls on deaf ears in this instance too and the duffer continues to unleash his Bollywood crap on desis.
Folks, Mere Brother Ki Dulhan is sophomoric junk that’s just not worth your time or money. Hesitate not to raise your middle finger to these bozos.