For all those schmucks who think that corporate boards are stuffed with wise old men who do nothing but bring their decades of ‘wisdom’ to guide businesses and pass the torch to a new generation, we say ’tis time to stop taking those deep drags from the fine California weed you got betwixt your lips.
A lot of corporate boards are stuffed with blithering idiots who won’t be able to find their cojones with two hands and a flashlight.
Case in point – HP’s board.
The venerable Silicon Valley company, founded over seven decades back in a garage, long before the current Messiah Steve Jobs was even born, has been tottering from one disaster to another, no thanks to the stupid fucks populating its board.
The diaper-wearing, incontinent dotards on HP’s board should be pilloried for their chronic, monumental follies starting with the naming of that fatuous creep Carly Fiorina to the top job.
From then on, HP board’s raison d’etre has been to drag the company into the ditch. And they’ve succeeded admirably in their moronic endeavors.
Frequent management changes, disastrous product launches (TouchPad tablet) and acquisitions (Palm) and low morale has sapped the company of its fighting spirit.
Less than a year after an ex-SAP hand Léo Apotheker was brought in amid cloying encomiums, the man has now been found unfit for the job and will exit with a golden parachute worth tens of millions of dollars.
Those with long memories will recollect a similar exit for Carly Fiorina when she left with tens of millions as a reward for a bad job.
Take a deko at the below excerpts from HP’s two announcements in the last 12 months of a new leader.
The more things change, the more, it seems, they remain the same.
Sep. 30, 2010 – ‘Strategic Thinker’ Léo Apotheker Named HP CEO
Léo is a strategic thinker with a passion for technology, wide-reaching global experience and proven operational discipline – exactly what we were looking for in a CEO. After more than two decades in the industry, he has a strong track record of driving technological innovation, building customer relationships and developing world-class teams.
Léo has been a leader in anticipating the transformation taking place in our industry, and we believe he is uniquely positioned to help accelerate HP’s strategy. He has demonstrated success in the U.S. market and also has vast international experience – which will be a major asset as HP continues to expand globally, particularly in high-growth emerging markets. HP has the right assets and market positions, and now we have the best team to realize the company’s enormous potential.
- Robert Ryan, lead independent director of HP’s Board, September 30, 2010
Sep. 22, 2011 Breaking News: Found Unfit to be HP CEO, Léo Apotheker is Kicked Out
We very much appreciate Léo’s efforts and his service to HP since his appointment last year. The board believes that the job of the HP CEO now requires additional attributes to successfully execute on the company’s strategy. Meg Whitman has the right operational and communication skills and leadership abilities to deliver improved execution and financial performance.
We are fortunate to have someone of Meg Whitman’s caliber and experience step up to lead HP. We are at a critical moment and we need renewed leadership to successfully implement our strategy and take advantage of the market opportunities ahead. Meg is a technology visionary with a proven track record of execution. She is a strong communicator who is customer focused with deep leadership capabilities. Furthermore, as a member of HP’s board of directors for the past eight months, Meg has a solid understanding of our products and markets.
- Ray Lane, HP board member, September 22, 2011
HP’s Senile Idiots Err Again
In our not-so-humble opinion, HP’s new CEO Meg Whitman is the wrong choice for the top job at HP. Continue reading »
Man, Andy Warhol was right with his 
Sri Lankan Tamil hedge fund manager Raj Rajaratnam has been found guilty on all 14 counts of securities fraud and conspiracy by a 12-member jury in New York City.
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