Singh is Kinng: Akshay Kumar Buggers 500m Desis

Singh is Kinng Box Office – Not So Great

Never in the annals of human depravity has so much agony been inflicted on so many (500 million Bollywood fans) by so few (Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Anees Bazmee et al).

Like Attila the Hun, the mad doctor of Auschwitz Josef Mengele and Ivan the Terrible, Akshay Kumar and his fellow bozos in Singh is Kinng have unleashed a horror show that has few parallels except with the awfully sordid.

By no stretch of imagination, can Akshay Kumar’s Singh is Kinng be even considered a movie.

Au contraire, it’s a nightmare of horrific proportions.

A perilous journey into the arctic gulag that’s fraught with relentless assaults on the eyeballs and eardrums every second.

Here’s a brief preview of the kind of total garbage you can expect from this piece of trash Singh is Kinng:

1. What happens when a paralytic guy is pushed down the staircase? He gets cured and stands up.
2. Scatalogical crap like one fellow (Akshay Kumar) pissing on another man’s face (Akshay Kumar just loves this kind of crap because even in his previous film Heyy Babyy – an ugly copy of Three Men and a Baby – we literally had shit flying about).
3. Infantile humor like a man (Akshay Kumar again) running his crotch into a table fan.
4. The Australian police give the two yokels Akshay Kumar and Om Puri a ride on their boat to a dreaded gangster’s mansion.

Such is the unendurable garbage that Akshay Kumar and his cronies unleash in a short span of 2 hours and 10 minutes in Singh is Kinng.

Singh is Kinng

Singh is Kinng’s story-line is as sophomoric as it can possibly get, even by Bollywood’s lowly standards.

Happy Singh (Akshay Kumar) is the village idiot whose good intentions invariably turn into disasters in execution.

Vexed with Happy’s antics, the villagers with the active connivance of Happy’s chum Rangeela (Om Puri)ย  plot to send Happy Singh to Australia to bring back Lucky Singh a.k.a Kinng (Sonu Sood), a notorious gangster who has besmirched the reputation of the village and all Punjabis through his bad ways.

Much to his chagrin, Rangeela is forced to accompany Happy on his trip. Through a mishap at the airport, Happy and Rangeela land in Egypt instead of Australia. In Egypt, Happy keeps bumping into Sonia (Katrina Kaif) and is instantly smitten with her.

What a waste. Egypt is such a beautiful place but alas the beauty of the pyramids or the Sphinx never shows up on the screen.

But then total lack of visual appeal is just one of several shortcomings of this piece of crap Singh is Kinng.

You think things change after Happy and Rangeela make their way down under. Nope, the crap show continues, nay it gets infinitely worse.

Lucky Singh (Sonu Sood), the gangster is badly injured in a shootout and ends up paralyzed.

Guess what happens? Bizarre meets stupidity – our Happy Singh is now anointed Kinng of the criminal gang in Australia.

Pray, tell us what prompted Akshay Kumar to stoop so low as to involve himself with this garbage a.k.a. Singh is Kinng and bugger the bejesus out of his fans?

In one frightfully ridiculous scene, Happy Singh chases a helicopter in a small boat and, guess what, ends up ramming it into the flying helicopter.

Singh is Kinng is a movie in which there are just no limits to nonsense.

If this bozo Akshay Kumar is the next superstar of Bollywood, the one to wrest the mantle from Shahrukh Khan, then it must herald the advent of a long, dark night in Bollywood, a lengthy solar eclipse.

It’s a bloody shame that Bollywood fans have to endure the likes of Katrina Kaif. A hopelessly incompetent actress, this thing is a disgrace to entertainment. All we get from Katrina in Singh is Kingg are glimpses of her neatly-shaven underarms.

Neha Dhupia is her usual self in Singh is Kinng – looking and acting ugly. As the Bollywood obsessed gangster’s secretary, she adds to the irritating quotient of the movie. Mercifully, Neha Dhupia is fading out of Bollywood movies (she’s already reduced to playing supporting roles).

Cast in the role of Katrina’s beau Puneet, Ranvir Shorey has mastered the unique talent of irritating the audience without seeming to put much effort into it.

And the architect of this tragedy – no, Singh is Kinng is not a comedy despite all the rumors on the Internet – is the remorseless writer/director Anees Bazmee, the mastermind ofย  another recent trashy film Welcome.

To describe the periodic, senseless assaults of song and foot tromping on our ear-drums and eye-balls as music and dance would be an utter travesty. There is no grace in the dancing or charm in the music.

No, please don’t describe Singh is Kinng as a movie with loose-ends because this entire garbage is one trashy loose-end that should never have seen the light of the day.

Even if money is burning a hole in your pocket and you are too dumb to spend your time fruitfully, heed our advice – Avoid this crap show Singh is Kinng like the plague.

Singh is Kinng shows Bollywood at its worst.

P.S: At Regal Burlington in New Jersey, the crap show Singh is Kinng was showing in Hall #5 and Heath Ledger’s swan song Dark Knight in Hall #6. What a world of difference between this buffoon Akshay Kumar and that actor extraordinaire Heath Ledger.

Critics Hammer Trashy Singh is Kinng

18 Responses to "Singh is Kinng: Akshay Kumar Buggers 500m Desis"

  1. bollywoodfan   August 11, 2008 at 6:22 am

    hi,i would strongly suggest you stop reviewing bollywood movies cause its clear u hate indian movies with the passion,movies are for entertainment,its nt meant to change our lives,singh is king is breaking box office records all over the world and its going to beat om shanti om by the way akshay kumar is a very good actor,last point,all the movies u rated as bad turned out to be blockbusters and singh is king will be the years biggest hit only because of akshay kumar.dnt take life so serious have sum fun,next tym u watch a comedy dnt go in the cinema expecting a movie to change your life rather go have a good laugh and you will see you will enjoy it.singh is king wont win any awards but it will win the hearts of people and no matter how much u critise the movie,people will still love singh is king and akshay kumar. if you want to contact me my email address is hunter69@webmail.co.za

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: i would strongly suggest you stop reviewing bollywood movies cause its clear u hate indian movies with the passion

    We don’t hate Bollywood movies It’s just the hopelessly amateurish way most of them are made that gets our goat. We liked Taara Zameen Par, Fanaa, Manorama Six Feet Under and Johnny Gaddar.

    2. You write: movies are for entertainment…dnt go in the cinema expecting a movie to change your life rather go have a good laugh

    Singh is Kinng is not entertainment. It’s a crap-show. There were very few decent laugh-lines in the movie.

    3. You write: all the movies u rated as bad turned out to be blockbusters and singh is king will be the years biggest hit…it will win the hearts of people.

    So be it. We don’t write our reviews based on the box office response. In their time, Stalin and Hitler were also much loved by their people.

    ————————-
    SearchIndia.com is ramping up coverage of the IT industry and the iPhone. The iPhone is launching in India on August 22 and the IT industry (particularly software) has had a good innings in India for the last 15 years.

  2. gandhiji   August 11, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    i was waiting for someone to bring up American Pie after you said ‘scatological’.. What can I say.. I loved American Pie and Mary.. maybe I’ll like Singh too? probably not..

    Speaking of that.. I know Kal Penn is one of your favorites….
    Have you watched the “Harold & Kumar”s? I loved “White Castle” but “Guantanomo Bay” wasn’t good probably because my expectation was very high .. his deadpan expression sure is good.

    I am a guy, but I also pay attention to bollywood underarms.. to check for implant scars.. heard it is rampant in bollywood.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    We liked Kal Penn in Namesake but not in the other film we watched.

  3. mitchell   August 13, 2008 at 7:18 am

    Sorry nothing about ‘Singh is King’. Have you watched ManiRathnam’s GURU ? Did you like it ,,Have you reviewed that movie?

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write above: Have you watched ManiRathnam’s GURU ? Did you like it ,,Have you reviewed that movie?

    Yes, we have. Please find below the link to our Guru review:
    http://www.searchindia.com/search/bollywood-movies/guru-movie-review.html

  4. jas3000   August 13, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    Yawwwn the reviewer is an SRK lover and scared of the dethronement. Which means your whole review is garbage.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: Which means your whole review is garbage

    Are you confusing our review with the stuff in your head?

    2. You write: the reviewer is an SRK lover and scared of the dethronement

    No, we are not in the SRK, Hrithik, Akshay Kumar or in any camp. We just love good cinema.

    You dolt, before you blabbered that the reviewer is an SRK lover, you should have read our Chak De India and Om Shanti Om reviews.

  5. Malika S   August 14, 2008 at 8:43 am

    According to US box office, (http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/boxoffice/) Singh is Kinng made almost $1.2 million from 112 theatres over the weekend so what is “not so great” about it? It has already broken all the records in India. Overseas combined, it has broken all the records of other Indian movies.

    Now whether you like the movie or you don’t, its your own opinion and you are free to express it.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    As we said earlier, in the U.S. (the market we focus on primarily since SearchIndia.com is based here), Shahrukh Khan’s Om Shanti Om and Hrithik Roshan’s Jodhaa Akbar handily trounced Singh is Kinng.

  6. Malika S   August 15, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    You are right, Singh is Kinng didn’t match up the $$ with Om Shanti Om and Jodhaa Akbar in US but there is no denying that it made more $$ than both the movies in 3 day weekend overall(India and Overseas combined). I am not saying that its an excellent movie or anything like that but than again 95% of the Bollywood movies are trash and the good ones never get appreciated like Johnny Gaddar, Manorama six feet under, Dor, Iqbal, 3 deewarein and so on…

    We have to wait and see what the weekend looks like for Singh is Kinng against these two new releases. I have a feeling its continue to do well but than again lets just wait.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    We also loved Johnny Gaddar, Manorama six feet under & Taare Zameen Par.

    Watched Bachna Ae Haseeno this morning…lousy.

    Hope God Tussi Great Ho will be better.

  7. me4all   August 18, 2008 at 8:36 am

    many s**theads writing reviews and others wasting their time. I just went through many reviews and felt the site like a Scum bag full of idiotic reviewers

    Thing to write a review. (Not crap essays that come in your brain)

    1: Learn to appreciate the positive things in films.

    2. Highlight the negative aspects ina decent manner and make the readers know why u highlighted this negative aspect and how it can be made better.

    Never Compare Bollywood to Hollywood. 2 different sections. Never…. Period.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write above: Learn to appreciate the positive things in films

    There is very little to appreciate in 99% of Bollywood movies.

    Why do you think most Indian movies fail at the box office? Because most of them are disgustingly bad.

  8. NYV1984   August 21, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    hi,i would strongly suggest you stop reviewing bollywood movies cause its clear u hate indian movies with the passion,movies are for entertainment,its nt meant to change our lives [Excerpt from the top-most comment]

    To the above poster:

    I would strongly suggest that you follow your own advice and not take life too seriously if an educated opinion bothers you so much as to compell you to make a fool out of yourself with your poorly constructed and argued diatribe.

    Movies aren’t meant to change lives and of course they are entertainment. Movies, however, are a form of entertainment that on many occasions cost time and money. With movies like ”Singh is Kingg,’ we are losing both time and money and the entertainment benefit derived from such movies is quite low. I commend this blog for making us aware of these indescribably terrible Bollywood movies. It really saddens me to see the marked decline in the quality and standards of Bollywood movies. It is truly becoming a mass-production process whereby the most fundamental elements of entertainment are being neglected for the sake of quick earnings. I just don’t get it. Bollywood is more than capable of making movies the likes of Sholay, Company, Bombay and Satya – at least, I’d like to hope so.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write above: It really saddens me to see the marked decline in the quality and standards of Bollywood movies. It is truly becoming a mass-production process whereby the most fundamental elements of entertainment are being neglected for the sake of quick earnings. I just don’t get it.

    Count us too among those terribly disillusioned with the crappy output from Bollywood lately.

    We’ve just watched two Hollywood movies: No Country for Old Men & There will be Blood. What a world of difference between those fine movies and the garbage that flows from Bollywood and Kollywood.

  9. guruprasad.s   August 22, 2008 at 10:49 am

    I am surprised that a movie so low on entertainment quotient has done as well as it has. SIK (Singh is King), billed as a comedy, actually has very few scenes where you can laugh. I waited for those, and waited, and waited.
    Akshay Kumar’s goofiness can take a movie only thus far.
    Om Puri gets banal lines, and mouths them with as much energy as he can muster.
    I am not even talking about the plot, screenplay etc ; I am willing to ignore those flaws if the movie somehow makes me laugh spontaneously, and consistently.
    The problem is, SIK lacks any form of humour, class or even crass.
    I have watched Govinda’s movies and laughed much more in a few minutes.
    SIK just forces a few incidents on you and expects you to laugh.
    In short, SIK is a drag. I had got a similar feeling while watching Welcome, which made for an equally labourious viewing, and surprisingly, again, made decent money.
    Complete non-actors like Neha Dupia and Katrina Kaif really make for an agonizing viewing experience in SIK.
    At least Katrina is good looking (when she shuts up and doesnt try to dance as she did in Race).
    But Neha Dhupia is actually an ugly looking female, (not to talk of acting skills), a point which only you have made in your review, and other reviewers have been rather charitable.
    Both these females cannot speak passable Hindi, and worse, add their own irritating diction.
    The background score is loud and irritating.
    The tragedy is that, buoyed by the response to this crap, the team of Akki, Anees Bozomi (Bazmee) and Vipul Shah, will turn out more of such humourless stuff.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: SIK (Singh is King), billed as a comedy, actually has very few scenes where you can laugh

    We agree 100%.

    2. You write: In short, SIK is a drag.

    SIK is unadulterated garbage, Bollywood at its worst. SIK has not done that well in the U.S. but we keep hearing contradictory reports about India.

    3. You write: The tragedy is that, buoyed by the response to this crap, the team of Akki, Anees Bozomi (Bazmee) and Vipul Shah, will turn out more of such humourless stuff

    Now, you’ve ruined our day! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. kartik005   August 24, 2008 at 4:38 am

    I strongly think that you are nothing but a Pakistani dalal who hates everything about India and everything India has ever produced. Always seeking faults in Bollywood movies. What do you think? Do you think movie making are so easy? Go and try 4 urself…and see what u can do. I am sure you can not produce nothing mor than cow dung and shit that you call bollywood movies.

    Try to appreciate what our Great movie maskers s are trying to achieve. Movie making is not only an art it takes energy and passion to complete.

    Have respect for those who are doing their best to entertain you. Bollywood is the biggest movie industry in the world. Try to love our country. That will do good for you. Or else people of mother India will show you how to kick ass of those who disrespect the country. Be Careful…

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write above: Be Careful…

    Please clarify our biggest doubt – Did you escape from the local zoo or the asylum?

    You must be one of those rare creatures who simultaneously suffer from diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of ideas. Sorry, there’s no cure for your kind. You might want to try the veterinary hospitals though.

    2. You write: Have respect for those who are doing their best to entertain you. Bollywood is the biggest movie industry in the world. Try to love our country

    Only a monumental idiot like you would equate love for Bollywood with love for India. India existed long before Bollywood and will continue long after.

    Most Bollywood movies are pathetic pieces of shit. Watch some nice foreign movies like Tell No One, Mongol, Kontroll, In the Mood for Love and Blame it on Fidel or Hollywood movies like No Country for Old Men, Sweeney Todd and There will be Blood to realize the difference between the trash you so dearly love and real movies.

    2. You write: I strongly think that you are nothing but a Pakistani dalal who hates everything….Always seeking faults in Bollywood movies

    Hanuman, did someonse set fire to your tail? The last time we checked, Bollywood movies were popular in Pakistan.

    3. You write: What do you think? Do you think movie making are so easy?

    Of course not. But to our Bollywood directors it’s a walk in the park if you go by the quality of most movies made lately. That’s why most Bollywood movies fare so badly at the box office.

    4. You write: Try to appreciate what our Great movie maskers s are trying to achieve

    Who are the great movie makers in Bollywood? Directors like Anees Bazmee who make garbage like Singh is Kinng or plagiarists like Rumi Jaffrey and Ajay Devgan who offer rubbish like God Tussi Great Ho and U Me Aur Hum respectively.

  11. kartik005   September 4, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    I gave plenty of logic to prove that you godforsaken [Trash Talk] and now I am mad? How funny!! Loving Bollywood is being madness. Where the hell did you get this notion! And don’t ever doubt my love for my country.
    I mentioned Great movie directors in India and You fool give the names of some new and ametur directors like Ajay Devgan? Why? Does it hurt to mention the names of Sanjay Leela Banshali, Ashutosh Goalikar, Yash Raj, Vishal Bhadraj, Rakesh Roshan, & Farah Khan? They are no way lack behind all those Hollywood directors? Ajay only entered the directorial zone and he must take time to be great directors. Did Spielberg or Fellini became great in one movie?

    Appreciate first then criticize. Thats the main problem with you. I thing all the people who visit this site would agree with me.

    Lastly, Don’t ever call my language rubish or trashy! Bacause my language is way better than your rubbish reviews. It make my rummy tumbling…and gives me headache.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write like you repeatedly flunked your seventh grade.

    You write above: I gave plenty of logic to prove that you godforsaken …and now I am mad?

    Now you are mad? It seems like you always were going by your incoherent ramblings.

    You write above: Does it hurt to mention the names of Sanjay Leela Banshali, Ashutosh Goalikar, Yash Raj, Vishal Bhadraj, Rakesh Roshan, & Farah Khan

    We loved Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Saawariya & Black. Yash Raj is a spent force.

  12. shades of grey   September 10, 2008 at 9:02 am

    Singh Is King is a pathetic excuse for a film. Akshay makes me cringe and Katrina makes me want to hurl. From the moment I saw her in Namastey London (which I wish I hadn’t seen) I knew she was going to join my long list of hopelessly incompetent actresses.

    Speaking of Namastey London…what the hell was that film about! It made no sense whatsoever. It just seemed to get more and more crazy and idiotic.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Namastey London was a horror show. We cursed our Karma after watching the movie in Regal Burlington (New Jersey).

    Here’s an excerpt from our review:

    With a bizarre story line that demands too much credulity of viewers, mediocre songs and sub-par acting by Katrina Kaif, Namastey London is worse than your usual Bollywood balderdash.

    It’s naive to expect audiences to believe that a just married Punjabi man will bovine-like acquiesce to his wife’s moves to jettison their marriage and let her marry her White boyfriend in London, all for the sake of her happiness. What baloney!

  13. aditya_k   September 20, 2008 at 7:01 am

    all those who do not believe bollywood is on decline, watch a film like awara-which i watched recently-to apreciate what a great film raj kapoor made at that time,and what utter garbage bollywood churns out now……

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Awara has some lovely songs too.

    Many years back, when we were in a cab in Cologne (Germany) our old Turkish driver started singing that song awara hoon once he realized we were from India. It was one of our memorable cab rides. Here’s the song/scene.

    We watched Charlie Chaplin’s The Tramp recently (if you live in the U.S., most public libraries have it), and quickly noticed the similarities in acting style between Chaplin and Raj Kapoor. Raj Kapoor was clearly a Chaplin fan.

  14. abbu2020   December 29, 2008 at 4:20 am

    Finally, the correct review I was looking for… I mean the media was (and still is) so shamelessly promoting this film, I mean who knew that it would be so crappy? God, when I am in my deathbed, first thing I will remember is how anees bazmee and company wasted my 2 precious hours of life!!! Even though your review was a little exaggerated about Katrina, but I loved it, I registered just to know how happy I felt while reading this…. You and I share almost the same feelings about this movie.. Keep up the good work, buddy!!!

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    You write above: You and I share almost the same feelings about this movie..

    Wow…there are other sane folks out there.

  15. siddhu085   October 31, 2009 at 9:02 am

    i remember i was in the gold coast when i watched this movie..that’s where they have shot it..it’s a pity folks from oz and other countries only get to see mad dancing on the roads with corny action sequences..the better quality bollywood movies seem to be made in india.

    even heyy baby was shot in gold coast – i got to see a bit of the shooting with one of my aussie friends..and they were asking me “is this what you watch?” i was like “no! not me..but yes..many others do!”

    what the other users (who have commented) don’t understand is that – being the largest film industry has nothing to do with it…in bollywood it’s about quantity..it can never come close to the standards that hollywood movies have set.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    1. You write: the better quality bollywood movies seem to be made in india

    Ha ha ha.

    Down Under, do they start drinking in the AM hours?

    If better quality Bollywood movies are being made anywhere, they are a closely guarded secret.

    2. You write: i got to see a bit of the shooting with one of my aussie friends..and they were asking me “is this what you watch?”

    Think how we must feel because every second Bollywood movie is filmed in the U.S., and a lot of it on the East Coast, particularly in the NYC/NJ/Philadelphia area.

    To make matters worse, lawsuits filed in U.S. courts allege that some of these Bollywood monkeys like Karan Johar’s Dharma Productions run away without paying the local actors and vendors.

    3. You write: in bollywood it’s about quantity.

    Oh no, it’s not just about quantity.

    It’s also about theft (like your Heyy Babyy), nepotism (star children) and churning out mindblowing garbage like Singh is Kingg, Kambhakkht Ishq, Drona et al.

  16. sganeshkumar1989   July 2, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    http://www.bollyspice.com/view.php/4930-singh-is-kinng-taken-to-court.html
    Already,few critics then pointed similarities between SIK and the 2 Frank Capra films in the reviews.

    SearchIndia.com Responds:

    Interesting. Very interesting. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • sganeshkumar1989   July 3, 2010 at 2:57 pm

      Well,I’m watching a Frank Capra film now(Which I got as part of the collection of 4 Frank Capra films in a DVD set.)
      Guess what those 4 films are? ๐Ÿ˜‰
      And I took Aliens as the 2nd DVD for this fortnight from the Library.

      SearchIndia.com Responds:

      From among the following films: Lady for a Day, Pocketful of Miracles, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, It Happened One Night, You Can’t Take It with You, Mr. Deeds Goes to Town ??

      • sganeshkumar1989   July 4, 2010 at 1:05 pm

        Among the ones you mentioned,yes I got the 3rd,4th and 5th movies of the list;but you forgot to mention the 4th and the best of all-It’s A Wonderful Life. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        SearchIndia.com Responds:

        We’re going to watch the Oscar winning Talk to Her.

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