Immune to our cries of mercy, oblivious to our pain and without a flicker of remorse, two Bollywood veterans unleash a 167-minute cruel nightmare in Rab Nahin Bana Di Yeh Bosudi oops Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi that boggles the mind.
What were the devil’s apprentices Aditya Chopra and Shahrukh Khan thinking, if they were thinking at all, when they made this piece of trash.
With no story worth speaking of save a newly married uxorious husband Surinder Sahni (Shahrukh Khan) making a monkey of himself to get his young wife Taani (Anushka Sharma) to love him, an inept screenplay that makes junk like Yuvvraaj and Drona look glorious, mediocre acting by Shahrukh Khan and Anushka Sharma that make the grotesque Tamil film stars seem great and soporific dialogs that have less life in them than Manmohan Singh’s speeches, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi heaps more shame on Bollywood and fresh infamy on the fading Yash Raj Films banner.
And mucho disgrace on Shahrukh Khan and Aditya Chopra as well.
To ask the audience to believe that a woman can’t recognize her husband just because he’s removed his mustache and donned a flashy dress (and even after practising dancing with him for several days) is to suggest that Indian moviegoers need a brain-transplant.
Au contraire, it’s Yash Raj Films’ heir apparent – and the mooncalf behind Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi – Aditya Chopra who desperately needs a brain transplant. After all, it’s this lobotomized bozo who is credited with the silly story, hopeless screenplay, banal dialogs and complete misdirection.
Mon dieu, the sheer arrogance of Shahrukh Khan in deluding himself that the audience would lap up any tripe he throws their way has few parallels in Bollywood.
With his affected mannerisms (Thank you Ji. Mention not Ji. Taani Ji…), lifeless dancing and flat dialog delivery, Shahrukh Khan is an embarrassment to behold in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi whether as the mamooli aam aadmi Surinder with that forever constipated look or as hisÂ rustic alter ego Raj wearing that clownish mien.
Is this joker really the Bollywood Badshah?
Anushka Sharma is as mediocre an actress as Bollywood’s previous import from Bangalore Deepika Padukone, who made her debut in Om Shanti Om. Anushka resembles Sonam Kapoor (of Saawariya fame) from some angles but the buxom Sonam is a slightly better actress than this Bangalore boob.
In three crucial scenes (the initial confrontation with Surinder about not loving him, with Raj in the auto-shop and when Surinder tries the Sumo-wrestling nonsense), Anushka flounders and is all at sea. Send this schmuck back to Bengaluru with a one-way ticket.
Like the rest of the Rab Na Bana nonsense, music is drivel.
None of the songs are likely to stand the test of time. Both Haule Haule and Dance Pe Chance were so badly picturized that we have a hard time believing human were involved in their choreography.
Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte accomplished the seemingly impossible task of making the pretty babe Preity Zinta look like a weirdo.
A piece of trash like Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi begs to be shown the middle finger.
To all Shahrukh Khan fans whose hearts are aflutter and flesh aquiver each time their hero’s movies are released, we say toÂ waste either time or money on this rotten carcass would be a sin.
Instead of watching Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, you might as well commit harakiri and scoop your entrails out. That way, you’ll suffer lesser pain.