Aamir Khans’ scowling mien, the deafening vroom, vroom of BMW motorbike ads, repeated slow motion frames and the lobotomized duffer Abhishek Bachchan’s sophomoric acting are the sum and substance of the Bollywood revenge tale Dhoom 3.
After a young kid’s father (Jackie Shroff) commits suicide when a Chicago bank forecloses on papa’s (most inappropriately named) Great Indian Circus, the boy grows up into a robber (Aamir Khan) who, 25-years later, destroys the bank and himself.
Since it’s a Bollywood movie, it’s de rigueur that a lot won’t make any sense:
* A scowling Aamir Khan walks down the sides of tall buildings for no reason.
* Kids speak in a grownup tone to grownup bankers.
* Repeated use of slow-motion shots, as if it’s a newly discovered technique of film-making, lend an amateurish feel to the film.
* The Chicago Police Department gives free rein to, hold your breath now, an Indian cop to hunt down one of their city’s daredevil bank robbers!
* Bank security is no better than the security of your county library.
* The villain is a banker named Warren Andersen (a real-life American villain that impotent Indians have failed to capture for nearly three decades).
* Out of the blue, a second Aamir Khan (twin brother) is introduced in a twist carrying little credibility.
* Despite countless opportunities to nab the robber, the American cops never shoot him (only our Indian cop takes a shot at him). In reality, American cops are notoriously trigger-happy and have itchy fingers on the trigger.
* Romance track between Samar and Aliya (Katrina) was pathetic, hopelessly fleshed out.
The much-hyped action scenes, motorbikes turning into boats and the chases, are mildly interesting but nothing jaw-dropping. Nothing you haven’t seen time and again in Hollywood films.
As for Aamir Khan’s vaunted tap dancing, I say boo!
There’re occasional bursts of visual appeal, particularly in the magic acts on the stage. Alas, they’re few and far between.
I’m reconciled to Abhishek or Katrina ‘acting’ like zombies but to see the ‘two’ Aamir Khans’ constant scowling as if it’s the ne plus ultra of acting sent me into paroxysms of rage.
Futility of Being Abhishek Bachchan
I have not the least doubt that Bollywood pater familias Amitabh Bachchan is kissing people’s feet in a desperate attempt to get his worthless spawn Abhishek Bachchan some roles.
And each time Abhishek squanders the opportunity that come his way thanks to his father’s boot-licking.
Junior Bachchan can’t even run with any degree of credibility (I’m referring to the scene where Jai and Ali are confronted by a South Indian gang in Mumbai).
There is not the least conviction in the retard’s performance.
Uday Chopra as the cop’s assistant compounds the irritation quotient a million fold with his insanely asinine antics and dialogs.
Katrina Kaif has no role to speak of other than to prance about in itsy-bitsy costumes
And maybe it’s a blessing, the less we see of this stripper (one piece of clothing after another comes off in her ‘audition’ scene) the better.
An utterly classless creature with no graces whatsoever, I’ve sent up countless prayers for India to deport this alien back to her native country, England. But my prayers have yet to be answered leading me to question God’s very existence!
Bottom Line – Junk in Slow Motion
Dhoom 3 is a tedious movie with a running time of nearly three hours.
None of the songs are the kind that people will recollect minutes after they exit the hall.
I did not derive much joy from this tiresome movie!
Exchange your dollars for boredom! 🙁