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Indian restaurants in New York City come in two forms.

A small minority meant for humans and the vast majority aimed squarely at God’s four-legged feline, canine, hircine, asinine, porcine, leonine, vulpine etc creations.

We’ve graced the portals of the Indian Taj branch on Bleecker St in Greenwich Village (in downtown Manhattan).

Since the downtown location serves sexy Indian food we walked into the 74th St Jackson Heights branch of Indian Taj nourishing hopes of a similar titillating meal here too.

Merciless Assault

Alas, the Jackson Heights branch turned out to be the bastard child of the Indian Taj restaurant group that operates multiple restaurants in NYC.

For much of what we tasted at Indian Taj on 74th St in Jackson Heights is definitely not designed for biped, i.e. human consumption.

Indian Taj 74th St Jackson Heights Indian Taj Jackson Heights – Horrid Indian Food

What we encountered at Indian Taj was one brutal, furious, merciless assault after another on our taste buds.

Be it Vegetarian or Chicken items, Indian Taj’s kitchen lobbed one missile after another, lacerating not merely our palate but making sharp gashes into our tender soul at the thought that one Indian could be so perverse, so cruel, so heartless, so maleficent toward another.

Indian Taj – Horrid Fare

Can some sane individual explain to us how Chicken Chilli can be anything but spicy.

You see, the beastly monsters lurking inside Indian Taj’s kitchen decided that Chicken Chilli must be a spice-neutered, emasculated travesty.

Not in the least spicy, the blandness of Chicken Chilli brought tears to our eyes over the absence of any heat from the chillies and spices.

With their effete palates, a lot of Americans may not have the testicular fortitude for spicy Indian food.

But we certainly have the cojones for spicy food. Bring it on.

Adding insult to injury, the Chicken Chilli was cold, just minutes after the restaurant opened.

Indian Taj Jackson Heights Chicken ChilliCold, Spiceless Chicken Chilli

The medium sized Vegetable Samosa was evenly fried and that’s all we can say in its favor.

The Potato filling inside, which is the main allure of a Samosa, was horridly tasteless.

Worse than the bland mashed Potatoes that an American Grocery store deli peddles.

By God, if you can’t get the Samosa right you really have no place in an Indian kitchen. A Samosa is the equivalent of toasting bread.

How f*cking difficult can it be to get a Samosa right!

Indian Taj Tasteless SamosaTasteless Samosa (left)

Kadi Pakora with a surfeit of Turmeric Powder did not provide us any joy of eating this famed Punjabi delicacy.

Pakoras in Kadi Pakora were so tasteless that we cringed after one bite.

Indian Taj Jackson Heights - Kadi PakoraKadi Pakora – Mucho Turmeric Powder

Yellow Dal was hot temperature wise and that’s it.

Devoid of any flavor, Indian Taj’s Yellow Dal in our opinion is not fit for any living creature’s consumption leave alone paying diners.

Where do crappy restaurants like Indian Taj pick up their clueless kitchen staff from?

Are they Indians, Amigos or Aliens from a distant galaxy?

We wanna know.

Indian Taj Jackson Heights - Yellow DalTasteless Yellow Dal (top), Palak Paneer
and Navratan Korma (bottom left)

Mercifully, Palak Paneer did not have the usual raw taste that you encounter at so many Indian restaurants in the NY/NJ area.

But it was hopelessly flavorless and it felt like we were eating finely boiled chopped Spinach with fried Paneer than the North Indian creamy delicacy Palak Paneer.

Navratan Korma was creamy but dominated by Chickpeas making us wonder why Indian Taj had two Chickpeas items on the lunch buffet. Navratan Korma is usually prepared with a combination of nine vegetables including some nuts.

Compounding our irritation, the Indian Taj version of Navratan Korma was far too sweetish. Continue reading »

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Based on long years of dining out, we’d unequivocally declare that most Indian restaurants in the NY/NJ area are not fit for humans.

Some are not suitable even for animals.

And then there are the rare few like Mehfil in Jackson Heights that are unsuitable even for Aliens visiting from distant galaxies.

All Round Pain

It was bad Karma that drew us to Mehfil the other day.

We were misled by some of the favorable reviews on other sites.

Sadly, a lot of Indian restaurant reviews on other sites are penned by clueless bozos utterly unfamiliar with Indian food. Have keyboard, ergo will type nonsense seems to be the leitmotif of many reviewers these days.

Located on 37th Avenue and 76th St in Jackson Heights, a couple of blocks from the Indian hub on 74th St, Mehfil has been around for a couple of years.

We used to pass by the restaurant on our way to the Jackson Heights library but never found the time to stop.

During our latest visit to Jackson Heights, we were determined to stop by at Mehfil and sample its wares.

And so we did.

Much to our infinite regret.

It seemed as if all of Satan’s minions toiled had congregated inside Mehfil’s kitchen with the mission of inflicting hideous, maximum, unrelenting pain on unsuspecting souls who walked in.

Mehfil Jackson Heights Samosa & Mixed Veg CurryHorrid Samosa, Tasteless Mixed Veg Curry

From the horrid vegetable Samosa with its tasteless potato filling to the dry rice to the awful Tandoori items, Mehfil is a restaurant that screams its inadequacies.

How a restaurant can screw up basic fare like Samosa or Mixed Vegetable Curry or Tandoori Chicken and still claim to serve Indian cuisine is hard for sane minds to fathom. Must be the Himalayan heights of incompetence.

The restaurant is a simple affair, nothing fancy about the place.

Two rows of tables with a small corridor in between.

Mehfil Jackson Heights Fish Tandoori, Chicken Tikka Masala & Tandoori ChickenAwful Fish Tandoori (top left), Tandoori
Chicken  (right), Chicken Tikka Masala

Tandoori Items – Clueless or Callous

Tandoori items are standard stuff in most Indian restaurants in NYC.

Cooked in a Tandoor (Indian clay oven) after proper marination with a mixture of yogurt and spices, they’re a royal treat when done well.

But the two Tandoori items at Mehfil – Tandoori Chicken and Fish Tandoori – were Katrinaesque disasters.

Hopelessly badly marinated, both left a horrible taste in the mouth that lingered.

Chicken Tikka Masala is another fixture at Indian restaurants in Jackson Heights and Manhattan as well. Alas, that too turned out to be  a travesty here.

While the gravy was at least edible, the chicken had a weird medicinal taste (no kidding) and a horrid hard texture.

We shudder to think what might have given it the weird taste.

Mehfil Jackson Heights Veg CurriesHorrid Alu Gobi (bottom left), Zucchini,
Mixed Veg Curry (bottom right) & Samosa

Mehil is an equal opportunity offender.

Satan does not squander any opportunity in his torturous mission. Continue reading »

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The small Apple is now gracing the Big Apple’s Grand Central train station.

Yes, Apple’s newest store in Manhattan opened this Friday at the Grand Central in Midtown Manhattan.

We stopped by over the weekend to see what the hoopla was all about.

Oh my, what a noisy affair it turned out to be.

It seemed as if all of Manhattan, dressed up as Santa, had descended there.

There were tons of people dying to get up to the Eastern Balcony of the Grand Central Station where Apple’s newest store is located.

Taking even a few steps toward the Apple store involved considerable pushing and jostling.

The police and Apple employees had a tough time managing the crowd.

Apple Store in Grand Central Station NYCThe Apple of Our Eye at Apple’s new Grand Central Store

Santas at Apple Store in Grand Central StationSantas, Santas & More Santas Outside the Apple Store

SearchIndia.com on Apple iPad2 at Grand CentralHoly Cow, Here’s SI on an iPad @ the Apple Grand Central ;)

Were We Impressed?
Not really, considering all the hype.

The store is big, of course.

There’s all the standard Apple products – the iPad, iPhone, iPod, MacBook etc on display – and people playing around with these devices.

But the store itself didn’t strike us as anything extraordinary.

The strange thing is we didn’t see any doors at all. Everything seemed too open.

In any case, we plan to revisit the store on a quiet week day to see if we missed anything amidst the din of the weekend crowd.

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Beck's Beer - Decent StuffOh no, Beck’s is not our favorite beer.

But then it’s not on our hated list either.

We’ve been quaffing Beck’s on and off for over a decade.

So, what have we to say about Beck’s after all these years and all those bottles?

Not much to complain and not much to cheer either.

As you lift the glass of ice-cold Beck’s to your lips, a distinctive odor wafts up.

Before the chilled beer hits your tongue, your brain has already registered that this ain’t no pussy-beer.

So all you namby-pambys out there, if you don’t like a strong odor in your beer, stay away from the German beer Beck’s.

A Question of Character

In our weltanaschauung of beer, a beer has character or it doesn’t.

We’re happy to report that Beck’s is a beer with character.

Not a lot, but some for sure.

A golden hued pale lager with a slight head, Beck’s has a mild flavor of hops.

Beck’s is a light, slightly watery beer.

You’d need at least two or three  bottles of Beck’s to get even a nice buzz.

Whether it’s the Mid-Atlantic winter or the stifling heat of summer, you can do worse than sit with a 22.4-oz bottle of Beck’s by your side.

The beer is around $2.99 for a 1 pint 6.4 fl bottle at your neighboring Gujju liquor store.

Beck’s is not the greatest beer on Earth but it certainly ain’t urine as some crazy critics make it out to be.

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With each new movie, Anushka Sharma’s characters turn more sluttish.

Bowing to gravity the top cover keeps slithering down, defying gravity the bottom vestments keep going up and demo’ing the geometric construction of an equilateral triangle the distance between the legs keep getting wider (during the dances).

Hey, what gives?

A short while ago, in Ladies vs Ricky Bahl we caught a glimpse of her character’s pale 34B tits encased in a revealing black bikini, lavish display of silky-smooth thighs, well-toned, fleshy (almost) bare derriere, nice midriff, mostly bare-back etc.

Now if only her characters would drop those sluttish ‘he-he, see my tits and ass‘ antics and start acting, we’d be drooling.

In interviews, Ms.Sharma claims to work very hard.

At what, we wondered sopra voce and not without anger.

Certainly not at acting where restraint is not a word in Ms.Sharma’s lexicon.

Far too often, in our not so humble opinion the gal’s characters go overboard, both in the emoting department and the revealing deportment.

No Big Deal

No, we’re not talking of Ms.Sharma’s well-nourished assets now but of the movie Ladies vs Ricky Bahl.

No big deal, kiddo.

Truth be said, considering it was a Yash Raj production we’d already dialed G for Garbage before we forked out $10.50 T for Tickets.

Borrowing the basic premise of three wronged women out on a revenge mission from the Hollywood sophomoric drivel John Tucker Must Die (Jesse Metcalfe, Brittany Snow etc), Ladies vs Ricky Bahl’s writer and producer Aditya Chopra makes enough changes to deflect charges of plagiarism but is ultimately unable to render a watchable movie.

We borrowed John Tucker Must Die from our county library and watched endured it yesterday.

Mon dieu, it was plain awful.

Ladies vs Ricky Bahl is no less trashy. Continue reading »

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Digital cinema has hit a major milestone with over 50% of the estimated worldwide commercial cinema screens now converted to digital technology.

Texas Instruments, a developer of digital cinema technology, estimates the digital numbers will reach near 100% by the end of 2015.

Digital cinema is a major transition in the movie business from celluloid films to digital technology.

Although digital cinema is perceived in popular parlance as a shift to digital distribution and projection of films, the folks at Texas Instruments have a wider definition:

Digital cinema encompasses every aspect of the movie making process, from production and post-production to distribution and projection.

While digital cameras are nothing new, and post-production houses have been using digital equipment to edit and master movies and animation for some time, the all-digital distribution and projection of movies has only recently arrived to complete the chain.

A digitally produced or digitally converted movie can be distributed to theaters via satellite, physical media, or fiber optic networks. The digitized movie is stored by a computer/server which “serves” it to a digital projector for each screening of the movie.

We don’t have the numbers for India but China is projected to go all-digital by 2013.

Texas Instruments’ projections are based on data from IHS Screen Digest report “Goodbye and thanks for the memories…the end of 35mm.”

Since 1889, 35mm has been the major projection cinema format.

IHS estimates that by the end of 2012 the share of 35mm will fall to 37% of global cinema screens, with digital accounting for the rest. This represents a significant decline for 35mm, which was used in 68% of global cinema screens in 2010.

By 2015, 35mm will become a niche projection format used in just 17% of global movie screens.

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